14 Valentines 2: Knievel the Mighty and the Eye of the Gods (McKay/Sheppard, R)
Title: Knievel the Mighty and the Eye of the Gods
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1,500
Warnings: Bitextual, crack, geekiness
Summary: "You stole all the good stuff from WoW, didn't you?"
"Shut up and play, Sheppard."
Notes: Beta-read by the liresius and broet-chan, who both made this story better. John/Rodney. Contains het. Also, thanks to teenygozer for coming up with the second name for Rodney's character. And this has been jossed but good by Quarantine, but hey.
Bonus points if you get all the references. *g*
14 Valentines Essay: Day 2: Hunger
~~~
When the Ancient game they'd been playing for the last two years turned out to be not so much of a game after all, John and Rodney tried very hard to find new ways to spend their free time. They watched movies and various sports games. They played chess. They invented the Atlantis version of paint ball, which invariably involved Rodney limping home with a smeared stain of Ancient chalk on his shirt, and was therefore only played four times. None of those pastimes were entirely satisfying, though. The two of them were too used to eyeing each other suspiciously over the top of a monitor, and so eventually Rodney caved and shut himself in his quarters for two days with several MREs, chocolate, a coffee-maker, the good coffee, and a copy of World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade.
When he stumbled out of his room, the Pegasus galaxy's first MMORPG had been born: Adventures of Ancient. He loaded it onto the Atlantis main frame and stumbled back to his quarters to sleep for sixteen hours after sending a short email announcing the game's existence.
When he woke up again, the Atlantis expedition was hooked.
~~~
Knievel the Mighty was on a mission. He was to deliver the Eye of the Gods to the man who held his current contract, a fat Orc named Fuck Schroedinger's Cat. Fuck Schroedinger's Cat was a Player Character and obviously too lazy to go on the quest himself. Knievel didn't mind. He could use the money the Orc would pay him for new armour; the old, cheap one was rasping and scraping so noisily by now that it made stealth and sneakery nearly impossible. With a little luck, there'd even be enough left over to buy a magic item or two. The creatures he killed - beasts and sentients alike - occasionally left something behind, but he'd gone too long without getting to touch something that was truly suffused with supernatural energy. It was starting to make him jittery.
There was a reason for that. Knievel the Mighty was a Dark Elf, with the typical pointed ears and messy black hair. He had luminous green eyes, a strong but slender body, and armour so thin it seemed to be painted on his body.
He was also addicted to magic.
~~~
"You stole all the good stuff from WoW, didn't you?"
"Shut up and play, Sheppard."
~~~
Knievel was slowly nearing his goal. He'd fought his way through the Temple of Doom and across the Mountains of Madness. He'd crossed the Fire Swamps and made it through the mines of Rura Penthe.
~~~
"I take it back. You stole all the good stuff from everywhere."
Rodney eyed John over the top of his monitor, looking a little insulted and a lot impatient.
"Are you seriously complaining about this?"
John grinned.
"Hell, no."
~~~
After a week of camping out in the forbidding forests of Überwald, Knievel finally slew the last Igor and resumed his travels. He left reluctantly, because the Überwald was rich with magic and Knievel felt almost good despite its gloomy landscape. Sure, he was a Dark Elf, but that didn't mean he couldn't like sunshine. In fact, he also liked flying the gryphons really fast and going so high that it became hard to breathe.
Eventually he reached the edge of the forest though, and it was there that he met another Player Character. A human, blonde hair cut short and blue dress hugging her figure. She looked completely out of place between the ancient trees. She was also rude.
"Hey, elf! Where do you think you're going?"
Her name was Pi.
~~~
"Pi?"
~~~
Her name was Sam Geldar.
~~~
"McKay."
"What?"
~~~
Her name was Atlantean Queeeeefxcv .
~~~
"Hey! Give that back!"
John plonked the tablet back down on the table.
"Shut up and play, Rodney."
~~~
Her name was Meredith and she was a mage. Not that she told him, but he could sense it. She was brimming with magic, and he itched to empty her of it, to pull her close and drain her until all that was left was a hollow shell. He wasn't entirely sure why he didn't.
The first thing she did was mock him for his poor sense of direction - "You should have gone east at the Blue Mountain, not west. What do you need, a yellow brick road?" - and his hair - "Seriously, how do you make it stand up like that?" - and then she joined him without ever asking if he minded. Knievel tried to lose her, but she did know the lay of the land a lot better than he did, and she kept coming back, smirking.
"I'm not going to let you take the Eye of the Gods, you know," he told her eventually, one night at the camp-fire.
"We'll see," she said smugly, and he glowered at her.
The Eye of the Gods would be his, even if he had to kill her for it...
~~~
"You know, I hear the mess is serving meatball spaghetti tonight."
Rodney perked up.
"What, really?"
"Yeah."
"Well, come on, what are you waiting for? Let's go before all that's left are the sauce stains on Marina's apron."
~~~
Knievel slept. Sometime during the night, Meredith threw an arm across his waist, mumbled something, and resumed snoring. He would have pushed her away, but he was too tired.
~~~
"You know, that was disgusting, McKay."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel. Shrimp are meant to be eaten that way."
~~~
Knievel had to admit that he got along much faster with Meredith in tow. Sure, she complained a lot, but she was also kind of funny and despite his best attempts to dislike her, well... he was kind of failing on that front. There was also that one time when she saved his ass with a well-placed fireball, from an Eldrak back in Ulgoland. Stuff like that made a person grow on you.
Finally, after undergoing many trials, they arrived at their goal: a dank and slimy cave in the Mountain of Zebes. They went inside, fearless and determined, and fought their way through spiked armadillos and flying, chirping jellyfish. After Meredith had taken a winged lizard down with a gravitas spell and Knievel had slit its throat with his knife, they entered the final cavern side by side. Knievel's eyes lit up as he spotted his prize.
There it was, lying on an altar at the back of the cavern - the Eye of the Gods. A slim golden disc, shimmering in the dim light of the cave, almost overwhelming Knievel with its powerful magical aura.
Now they only had to defeat the strange and unimpressively squishy foe standing between them and the artefact, bobbing up and down in a giant transparent box.
~~~
"Rodney?"
John's voice was incredulous.
"Hmm?"
"Rodney!"
Rodney looked up and peered over the monitor.
"What?"
"Are we fighting Mother Brain?"
Rodney grinned and concentrated on his screen again, humming contentedly.
~~~
The transparent box cracked and splintered, and all that was left of their admittedly formidable enemy was a stinking puddle of vile blue fluid and soaked Dwarven armour. Knievel left it for Meredith. She had after all delivered the fatal blow with her staff, destroying the box when he'd been convinced that the explosives hurled by the creature would kill them. He turned around to tell her as much... and stopped.
"It worked! I can't believe it worked!"
Knievel stared. Meredith's cheeks were flushed and her blue eyes were shining as she laughed. She was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.
So he kissed her.
~~~
Rodney blinked at the screen. He opened his mouth and closed it again. Finally, he cleared his throat.
"Um. Did your character just... ?"
John nodded, dazed.
"Yeah."
"Did you... ?"
John shook his head.
"No."
They both stared at their monitors. After a while, Rodney cleared his throat again.
"I, ah... probably shouldn't have hooked them up to the Ancient main frame. I always suspected the possibility of an AI." He squirmed on his chair, then his eyes went wide. "Oh my god. Are they... ?"
John licked his lips, eyes not leaving the screen.
"Yeah," he said. His voice was hoarse.
There was another long pause, then Rodney asked, hesitantly, "Do, uh, do you want to-"
"Fuck, yeah!" John said fervently.
They didn't play again that night - at least, not with their computers.
~~~
Not the next night, either.
~~~
Knievel lay on his back in the grass that covered the soft hills leading up the Mountain of Zebes, fingers loosely clasping the now-useless Eye of the Gods.
"Are you sure this wasn't a mistake?" he asked. "Fuck Schroedinger's Cat will be mad."
Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Fuck him," she said, and kissed him again.
~~~
Game Over.
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1,500
Warnings: Bitextual, crack, geekiness
Summary: "You stole all the good stuff from WoW, didn't you?"
"Shut up and play, Sheppard."
Notes: Beta-read by the liresius and broet-chan, who both made this story better. John/Rodney. Contains het. Also, thanks to teenygozer for coming up with the second name for Rodney's character. And this has been jossed but good by Quarantine, but hey.
Bonus points if you get all the references. *g*
14 Valentines Essay: Day 2: Hunger
~~~
When the Ancient game they'd been playing for the last two years turned out to be not so much of a game after all, John and Rodney tried very hard to find new ways to spend their free time. They watched movies and various sports games. They played chess. They invented the Atlantis version of paint ball, which invariably involved Rodney limping home with a smeared stain of Ancient chalk on his shirt, and was therefore only played four times. None of those pastimes were entirely satisfying, though. The two of them were too used to eyeing each other suspiciously over the top of a monitor, and so eventually Rodney caved and shut himself in his quarters for two days with several MREs, chocolate, a coffee-maker, the good coffee, and a copy of World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade.
When he stumbled out of his room, the Pegasus galaxy's first MMORPG had been born: Adventures of Ancient. He loaded it onto the Atlantis main frame and stumbled back to his quarters to sleep for sixteen hours after sending a short email announcing the game's existence.
When he woke up again, the Atlantis expedition was hooked.
~~~
Knievel the Mighty was on a mission. He was to deliver the Eye of the Gods to the man who held his current contract, a fat Orc named Fuck Schroedinger's Cat. Fuck Schroedinger's Cat was a Player Character and obviously too lazy to go on the quest himself. Knievel didn't mind. He could use the money the Orc would pay him for new armour; the old, cheap one was rasping and scraping so noisily by now that it made stealth and sneakery nearly impossible. With a little luck, there'd even be enough left over to buy a magic item or two. The creatures he killed - beasts and sentients alike - occasionally left something behind, but he'd gone too long without getting to touch something that was truly suffused with supernatural energy. It was starting to make him jittery.
There was a reason for that. Knievel the Mighty was a Dark Elf, with the typical pointed ears and messy black hair. He had luminous green eyes, a strong but slender body, and armour so thin it seemed to be painted on his body.
He was also addicted to magic.
~~~
"You stole all the good stuff from WoW, didn't you?"
"Shut up and play, Sheppard."
~~~
Knievel was slowly nearing his goal. He'd fought his way through the Temple of Doom and across the Mountains of Madness. He'd crossed the Fire Swamps and made it through the mines of Rura Penthe.
~~~
"I take it back. You stole all the good stuff from everywhere."
Rodney eyed John over the top of his monitor, looking a little insulted and a lot impatient.
"Are you seriously complaining about this?"
John grinned.
"Hell, no."
~~~
After a week of camping out in the forbidding forests of Überwald, Knievel finally slew the last Igor and resumed his travels. He left reluctantly, because the Überwald was rich with magic and Knievel felt almost good despite its gloomy landscape. Sure, he was a Dark Elf, but that didn't mean he couldn't like sunshine. In fact, he also liked flying the gryphons really fast and going so high that it became hard to breathe.
Eventually he reached the edge of the forest though, and it was there that he met another Player Character. A human, blonde hair cut short and blue dress hugging her figure. She looked completely out of place between the ancient trees. She was also rude.
"Hey, elf! Where do you think you're going?"
Her name was Pi.
~~~
"Pi?"
~~~
Her name was Sam Geldar.
~~~
"McKay."
"What?"
~~~
Her name was Atlantean Queeeeefxcv .
~~~
"Hey! Give that back!"
John plonked the tablet back down on the table.
"Shut up and play, Rodney."
~~~
Her name was Meredith and she was a mage. Not that she told him, but he could sense it. She was brimming with magic, and he itched to empty her of it, to pull her close and drain her until all that was left was a hollow shell. He wasn't entirely sure why he didn't.
The first thing she did was mock him for his poor sense of direction - "You should have gone east at the Blue Mountain, not west. What do you need, a yellow brick road?" - and his hair - "Seriously, how do you make it stand up like that?" - and then she joined him without ever asking if he minded. Knievel tried to lose her, but she did know the lay of the land a lot better than he did, and she kept coming back, smirking.
"I'm not going to let you take the Eye of the Gods, you know," he told her eventually, one night at the camp-fire.
"We'll see," she said smugly, and he glowered at her.
The Eye of the Gods would be his, even if he had to kill her for it...
~~~
"You know, I hear the mess is serving meatball spaghetti tonight."
Rodney perked up.
"What, really?"
"Yeah."
"Well, come on, what are you waiting for? Let's go before all that's left are the sauce stains on Marina's apron."
~~~
Knievel slept. Sometime during the night, Meredith threw an arm across his waist, mumbled something, and resumed snoring. He would have pushed her away, but he was too tired.
~~~
"You know, that was disgusting, McKay."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel. Shrimp are meant to be eaten that way."
~~~
Knievel had to admit that he got along much faster with Meredith in tow. Sure, she complained a lot, but she was also kind of funny and despite his best attempts to dislike her, well... he was kind of failing on that front. There was also that one time when she saved his ass with a well-placed fireball, from an Eldrak back in Ulgoland. Stuff like that made a person grow on you.
Finally, after undergoing many trials, they arrived at their goal: a dank and slimy cave in the Mountain of Zebes. They went inside, fearless and determined, and fought their way through spiked armadillos and flying, chirping jellyfish. After Meredith had taken a winged lizard down with a gravitas spell and Knievel had slit its throat with his knife, they entered the final cavern side by side. Knievel's eyes lit up as he spotted his prize.
There it was, lying on an altar at the back of the cavern - the Eye of the Gods. A slim golden disc, shimmering in the dim light of the cave, almost overwhelming Knievel with its powerful magical aura.
Now they only had to defeat the strange and unimpressively squishy foe standing between them and the artefact, bobbing up and down in a giant transparent box.
~~~
"Rodney?"
John's voice was incredulous.
"Hmm?"
"Rodney!"
Rodney looked up and peered over the monitor.
"What?"
"Are we fighting Mother Brain?"
Rodney grinned and concentrated on his screen again, humming contentedly.
~~~
The transparent box cracked and splintered, and all that was left of their admittedly formidable enemy was a stinking puddle of vile blue fluid and soaked Dwarven armour. Knievel left it for Meredith. She had after all delivered the fatal blow with her staff, destroying the box when he'd been convinced that the explosives hurled by the creature would kill them. He turned around to tell her as much... and stopped.
"It worked! I can't believe it worked!"
Knievel stared. Meredith's cheeks were flushed and her blue eyes were shining as she laughed. She was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.
So he kissed her.
~~~
Rodney blinked at the screen. He opened his mouth and closed it again. Finally, he cleared his throat.
"Um. Did your character just... ?"
John nodded, dazed.
"Yeah."
"Did you... ?"
John shook his head.
"No."
They both stared at their monitors. After a while, Rodney cleared his throat again.
"I, ah... probably shouldn't have hooked them up to the Ancient main frame. I always suspected the possibility of an AI." He squirmed on his chair, then his eyes went wide. "Oh my god. Are they... ?"
John licked his lips, eyes not leaving the screen.
"Yeah," he said. His voice was hoarse.
There was another long pause, then Rodney asked, hesitantly, "Do, uh, do you want to-"
"Fuck, yeah!" John said fervently.
They didn't play again that night - at least, not with their computers.
~~~
Not the next night, either.
~~~
Knievel lay on his back in the grass that covered the soft hills leading up the Mountain of Zebes, fingers loosely clasping the now-useless Eye of the Gods.
"Are you sure this wasn't a mistake?" he asked. "Fuck Schroedinger's Cat will be mad."
Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Fuck him," she said, and kissed him again.
~~~
Game Over.