Male Enhancement 5B/10 (McKay/Sheppard, PG-13)
In which John is, in fact, not an android, but still messes things up.
( Previous parts)
~~~
Nine days after his fateful confession in the kitchen, Rodney was still coming to terms with the fact that he - of the, "It's not me, it's you!" and the, "The only thing you care about is your work!" and the ever-delightful, "I'm going back to my mother!" - was in love for quite possibly the first time in his life. With a machine.
Now, Rodney was a scientist. A genius, even. Intellectually, he knew that John's AI was more than sophisticated enough to allow the development of a true personality. Hadn't expected it to be quite so... independent - and he had to wonder about a company that built their sex toys to be so human - though he knew it was possible. But at night, it was hard to forget that the body he was spooning up against had been fabricated; that for all his appearance John wasn't even two months old. Hell, he'd had a guarantee certificate in the mail a few days after John's arrival, and it still scared the hell out of him. Confused him, which was even worse because Rodney hated being confused.
John was in the kitchen - perhaps Rodney had emphasised the cooking part of his order too much, because John always seemed to be in the kitchen - slicing up bell peppers for lunch when the door bell rang. He flinched with surprise, knife slipping and cutting into his finger, and Rodney froze as he stared dumbly at the blood welling up.
At the... at the blood. That... no BoyFriend™ was realistic enough to bleed, not even the ones for the darker... pleasures, but there was blood, so that had to mean, had to mean...
He looked up again, only to find John licking his lips, his face a mask of trepidation. "Listen, Rodney-"
"You're human," Rodney said stupidly, still lost in that mindless place of blinking and staring and not understanding at all. "You're... you're human? But... why..." He paused, drew a shaky breath. "You're human. You were human the entire time!"
John raised his hands. "Rodney-"
The door bell rang again, and this time Rodney stomped over, yanked the door open and barked, "Not now!" into Radek's startled face. Then he slammed the door shut again and stalked back to the kitchen, jabbing a shaking finger at John, who had wrapped a bit of paper towel around his finger.
"So, John - is your name even John? It isn't, is it? God, shut up, I'm not believing you anyway - but tell me, did you have fun? Was it entertaining to make the physicist fall for you? Tell me, did you and your cronies have a good laugh, huh? How much of my work did you steal and sell to, I don't know, China? The Russians? Korea?"
"I didn't steal anything, Rodney," John was raising his hands again, taking a step toward Rodney, who hurried to take a step back.
"Of course you didn't," he spat, "I'm just going to take your word for it, shall I?"
"Damn it, Rodney, will you just let me explain-"
"No! You lied to me! You deceived me and you lied to me and... and why am I even discussing this? Get out!"
"What can I do to make you- Look, just listen to yourself! You're upset that you have a boyfriend instead of a BoyFriend™!" John was pacing, still not making his way to the door, and Rodney wanted him gone. "The SX-7 is just a blow-up doll that can be programmed to say stuff!"
"I don't care, get out!"
"Rodney-"
"Out!"
John pressed his lips together. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he stared at Rodney, then he pushed away from the counter and stalked past Rodney, straight to the front door and out of the house. Out of Rodney's life. Rodney stared blindly at the open door, absently wondering how he'd gone from slow, lazy morning sex to a completely screwed-up love life by lunch.
And here he'd been torn over loving a machine. He was... god, he was pathetic.
Radek hesitantly poked his head around the door jamb. "Rodney?"
"What?" Rodney blinked at him, feeling his face heat up as he remembered that Radek had been standing just on the porch the whole time. He waved tiredly, "Sure, yes, come in." What was a bit of complete and total humiliation between colleagues? Besides, Radek had already seen him crash and burn with Sam Carter.
Somebody just shoot him now. Please.
"If this is a bad moment, I can go." Radek had come in and was looking uncomfortably around the kitchen, clutching a stack of papers in one hand as he pushed up his glasses with the other. "When you didn't call to cancel our appointment, Dr. Carter assumed that you had forgotten."
"Yes, I..." Rodney took a deep breath, pushing John firmly out of his mind. "What have you got?"
They spent the next few hours going over several new - completely erroneous - concepts Sam and Radek had come up with. There were days when his contract work only served to cause him headaches, and this was one of them. If Rodney was even brusquer than usual, however, Radek didn't comment. He even made more coffee, although the percolator's loud rumble literally made him jump.
It was getting dark when Radek left, gathering his papers and giving Rodney a quick handshake. "If you need to talk, you have my number," he said, grave and awkward and scurrying down the pathway before Rodney could answer. He closed the door and went back into the kitchen, staring at the half-sliced bell peppers and the dried drops of blood on the chopping board. John's blood.
The board clattered when it hit the floor, possibly taking a chip out of the tiles. Rodney didn't care. His knees gave out and he sat down hard, bits of vegetable squashed under his hands.
"The SX-7 is just a blow-up doll that can be programmed to say stuff!"
Yeah, he thought, closing his eyes, the smell of bell-pepper in his nose. But I bet they don't lie.
~~~
6A, in which John is an android
6B, in which John is not an android
( Previous parts)
~~~
Nine days after his fateful confession in the kitchen, Rodney was still coming to terms with the fact that he - of the, "It's not me, it's you!" and the, "The only thing you care about is your work!" and the ever-delightful, "I'm going back to my mother!" - was in love for quite possibly the first time in his life. With a machine.
Now, Rodney was a scientist. A genius, even. Intellectually, he knew that John's AI was more than sophisticated enough to allow the development of a true personality. Hadn't expected it to be quite so... independent - and he had to wonder about a company that built their sex toys to be so human - though he knew it was possible. But at night, it was hard to forget that the body he was spooning up against had been fabricated; that for all his appearance John wasn't even two months old. Hell, he'd had a guarantee certificate in the mail a few days after John's arrival, and it still scared the hell out of him. Confused him, which was even worse because Rodney hated being confused.
John was in the kitchen - perhaps Rodney had emphasised the cooking part of his order too much, because John always seemed to be in the kitchen - slicing up bell peppers for lunch when the door bell rang. He flinched with surprise, knife slipping and cutting into his finger, and Rodney froze as he stared dumbly at the blood welling up.
At the... at the blood. That... no BoyFriend™ was realistic enough to bleed, not even the ones for the darker... pleasures, but there was blood, so that had to mean, had to mean...
He looked up again, only to find John licking his lips, his face a mask of trepidation. "Listen, Rodney-"
"You're human," Rodney said stupidly, still lost in that mindless place of blinking and staring and not understanding at all. "You're... you're human? But... why..." He paused, drew a shaky breath. "You're human. You were human the entire time!"
John raised his hands. "Rodney-"
The door bell rang again, and this time Rodney stomped over, yanked the door open and barked, "Not now!" into Radek's startled face. Then he slammed the door shut again and stalked back to the kitchen, jabbing a shaking finger at John, who had wrapped a bit of paper towel around his finger.
"So, John - is your name even John? It isn't, is it? God, shut up, I'm not believing you anyway - but tell me, did you have fun? Was it entertaining to make the physicist fall for you? Tell me, did you and your cronies have a good laugh, huh? How much of my work did you steal and sell to, I don't know, China? The Russians? Korea?"
"I didn't steal anything, Rodney," John was raising his hands again, taking a step toward Rodney, who hurried to take a step back.
"Of course you didn't," he spat, "I'm just going to take your word for it, shall I?"
"Damn it, Rodney, will you just let me explain-"
"No! You lied to me! You deceived me and you lied to me and... and why am I even discussing this? Get out!"
"What can I do to make you- Look, just listen to yourself! You're upset that you have a boyfriend instead of a BoyFriend™!" John was pacing, still not making his way to the door, and Rodney wanted him gone. "The SX-7 is just a blow-up doll that can be programmed to say stuff!"
"I don't care, get out!"
"Rodney-"
"Out!"
John pressed his lips together. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he stared at Rodney, then he pushed away from the counter and stalked past Rodney, straight to the front door and out of the house. Out of Rodney's life. Rodney stared blindly at the open door, absently wondering how he'd gone from slow, lazy morning sex to a completely screwed-up love life by lunch.
And here he'd been torn over loving a machine. He was... god, he was pathetic.
Radek hesitantly poked his head around the door jamb. "Rodney?"
"What?" Rodney blinked at him, feeling his face heat up as he remembered that Radek had been standing just on the porch the whole time. He waved tiredly, "Sure, yes, come in." What was a bit of complete and total humiliation between colleagues? Besides, Radek had already seen him crash and burn with Sam Carter.
Somebody just shoot him now. Please.
"If this is a bad moment, I can go." Radek had come in and was looking uncomfortably around the kitchen, clutching a stack of papers in one hand as he pushed up his glasses with the other. "When you didn't call to cancel our appointment, Dr. Carter assumed that you had forgotten."
"Yes, I..." Rodney took a deep breath, pushing John firmly out of his mind. "What have you got?"
They spent the next few hours going over several new - completely erroneous - concepts Sam and Radek had come up with. There were days when his contract work only served to cause him headaches, and this was one of them. If Rodney was even brusquer than usual, however, Radek didn't comment. He even made more coffee, although the percolator's loud rumble literally made him jump.
It was getting dark when Radek left, gathering his papers and giving Rodney a quick handshake. "If you need to talk, you have my number," he said, grave and awkward and scurrying down the pathway before Rodney could answer. He closed the door and went back into the kitchen, staring at the half-sliced bell peppers and the dried drops of blood on the chopping board. John's blood.
The board clattered when it hit the floor, possibly taking a chip out of the tiles. Rodney didn't care. His knees gave out and he sat down hard, bits of vegetable squashed under his hands.
"The SX-7 is just a blow-up doll that can be programmed to say stuff!"
Yeah, he thought, closing his eyes, the smell of bell-pepper in his nose. But I bet they don't lie.
~~~
6A, in which John is an android
6B, in which John is not an android