Male Enhancement 3/? (McKay/Sheppard, R)
I'd love to say that the plot were thickening. Alas, it is not.
( Previous parts)
All right, fine, Rodney was perfectly aware that the BoyFriend™ was not, in fact, intended to serve as a waiter, but seriously: what the fuck was John thinking? Katie Brown was still dabbing at the wide coffee stain that had ruined her white silk blouse while John just stood there holding the now empty cup, looking distinctly unapologetic as he watched Rodney usher his bewildered neighbour out of the house.
"I'm really sorry, Katie," he said, awkwardly patting her arm. "Uh, you can send me the bill for the dry cleaning. Or if you want to buy a new blouse."
"It's okay, Rodney," she smiled a little icily, "your… friend was simply clumsy." The short pause she put before the word friend made it more than clear that Katie knew perfectly well who - what - John was, and Rodney felt his ears heat up.
"Yes, well, I'm still sorry."
Her smile remained frozen as she nodded and turned around to scurry down the pathway without as much as a goodbye. Rodney grimaced, then he went back into the house to find John.
His BoyFriend™ was standing calmly next to the coffee table, all traces of Katie Brown's presence removed, and Rodney finally let his irritation get the better of him. "What the hell was that?!"
"She's pretty."
"Excuse me? What does that have to do with anything?"
John shrugged. "I didn't like her."
"You didn't- What are you, a child?" Rodney spluttered. "Does it say 'kindergarten' somewhere on my front door?"
"She kept talking about doing your gardening," John said petulantly, and Rodney wanted to take him apart and check his AI core for loose connections, because clearly there was a malfunction!
"Of course she did! She always does! She's a… a biology teacher or botanist or… or Greenpeace activist, I don't know. I don't care! She's been happily crawling around my flowerbeds ever since I moved in here; that's no reason to 'accidentally' trip her or to throw coffee at her!"
"She shouldn't be doing your gardening," John insisted, stubbornly stuffing his hands into his pockets and sticking his lower lip out like he was pouting and… wait a minute. Self-developing AI with every available subroutine.
"Are you jealous?" Rodney asked incredulously. John looked away, a slight flush colouring his cheeks, and Rodney wondered absently how that worked even as he crowed, "You are! That's remarkable! Utterly stupid, but remarkable! I hadn't realised your, uh, emotional programming was that far advanced."
"I can feel everything you can," John snapped, "and it's not stupid!" He pulled his hands out of his pocket and flexed his fingers in agitation. "Just because my emotions aren't driven by hormones, it doesn't mean you can belittle-"
"Oh, shut up, I'm not saying your feelings are stupid. Except they are because, hello? If I had anything even remotely resembling a love life, would I have bought you?"
John blinked. "Uh-"
"I mean, yes, she is kind of pretty, but she keeps talking about flowers and trees and organic fertiliser, and what do I care if Mrs. Salopny's pond is ecologicammmmff…"
John's mouth swallowed Rodney's words in a fierce kiss, passionate and possessive, and Rodney flailed a little before he settled his hands on John's back, feeling the warmth of John's artificial skin seep through the soft black t-shirt he'd stolen from the back of Rodney's closet. He pulled back a little to murmur, "We'll have to go out and get you some clothes of your own," and then he dived right back in to kiss the chuckle from John's lips.
"I'm kissing you and you're thinking about shopping?" John manoeuvred them to the couch and pushed Rodney down, grinning as he climbed on top of him. "I must be doing something wrong."
No, Rodney thought hazily as John's hard, cloth-covered dick rubbed against his own, no, you're doing everything just right.
And wasn't entirely sure why that thought scared him.
~~~
AN: I know where this is going now, but if you want to keep throwing out ideas and whatnot, please do so! You never know what I might pick up. ;)
Part 4
( Previous parts)
All right, fine, Rodney was perfectly aware that the BoyFriend™ was not, in fact, intended to serve as a waiter, but seriously: what the fuck was John thinking? Katie Brown was still dabbing at the wide coffee stain that had ruined her white silk blouse while John just stood there holding the now empty cup, looking distinctly unapologetic as he watched Rodney usher his bewildered neighbour out of the house.
"I'm really sorry, Katie," he said, awkwardly patting her arm. "Uh, you can send me the bill for the dry cleaning. Or if you want to buy a new blouse."
"It's okay, Rodney," she smiled a little icily, "your… friend was simply clumsy." The short pause she put before the word friend made it more than clear that Katie knew perfectly well who - what - John was, and Rodney felt his ears heat up.
"Yes, well, I'm still sorry."
Her smile remained frozen as she nodded and turned around to scurry down the pathway without as much as a goodbye. Rodney grimaced, then he went back into the house to find John.
His BoyFriend™ was standing calmly next to the coffee table, all traces of Katie Brown's presence removed, and Rodney finally let his irritation get the better of him. "What the hell was that?!"
"She's pretty."
"Excuse me? What does that have to do with anything?"
John shrugged. "I didn't like her."
"You didn't- What are you, a child?" Rodney spluttered. "Does it say 'kindergarten' somewhere on my front door?"
"She kept talking about doing your gardening," John said petulantly, and Rodney wanted to take him apart and check his AI core for loose connections, because clearly there was a malfunction!
"Of course she did! She always does! She's a… a biology teacher or botanist or… or Greenpeace activist, I don't know. I don't care! She's been happily crawling around my flowerbeds ever since I moved in here; that's no reason to 'accidentally' trip her or to throw coffee at her!"
"She shouldn't be doing your gardening," John insisted, stubbornly stuffing his hands into his pockets and sticking his lower lip out like he was pouting and… wait a minute. Self-developing AI with every available subroutine.
"Are you jealous?" Rodney asked incredulously. John looked away, a slight flush colouring his cheeks, and Rodney wondered absently how that worked even as he crowed, "You are! That's remarkable! Utterly stupid, but remarkable! I hadn't realised your, uh, emotional programming was that far advanced."
"I can feel everything you can," John snapped, "and it's not stupid!" He pulled his hands out of his pocket and flexed his fingers in agitation. "Just because my emotions aren't driven by hormones, it doesn't mean you can belittle-"
"Oh, shut up, I'm not saying your feelings are stupid. Except they are because, hello? If I had anything even remotely resembling a love life, would I have bought you?"
John blinked. "Uh-"
"I mean, yes, she is kind of pretty, but she keeps talking about flowers and trees and organic fertiliser, and what do I care if Mrs. Salopny's pond is ecologicammmmff…"
John's mouth swallowed Rodney's words in a fierce kiss, passionate and possessive, and Rodney flailed a little before he settled his hands on John's back, feeling the warmth of John's artificial skin seep through the soft black t-shirt he'd stolen from the back of Rodney's closet. He pulled back a little to murmur, "We'll have to go out and get you some clothes of your own," and then he dived right back in to kiss the chuckle from John's lips.
"I'm kissing you and you're thinking about shopping?" John manoeuvred them to the couch and pushed Rodney down, grinning as he climbed on top of him. "I must be doing something wrong."
No, Rodney thought hazily as John's hard, cloth-covered dick rubbed against his own, no, you're doing everything just right.
And wasn't entirely sure why that thought scared him.
~~~
AN: I know where this is going now, but if you want to keep throwing out ideas and whatnot, please do so! You never know what I might pick up. ;)
Part 4