I need to do something.
I am not feeling the internet, lately. Havent for a while, actually.
Someone mentioned lately not wanting their kids to look back at their childhood and remember that mommy was always with her laptop. I read that and it felt like a punch in the gut, and it left me gasping for air. I dont want my kids to remember me at the computer only. And honestly, this is how they'll remember me, unless I change something. And I have to change something. This is taking time away from my family. This is making me very unproductive at work. And it is making me unhappy.
I barely come in here during the weekend, and I dont miss it then, and dont even think of stuff to say. I mainly come here to avoid having to work, which is wrong on so many levels. And in the end, it could put my job in jeopardy, which... I cant even go there.
I dont think I will ever delete this journal entirely, because of all the memories of my kids in it. I'll try to download the contents anyway. But honestly, what I really hope I can find it in me to do is remove everyone, remove all the communities and put everything I've posted on private and keep this journal for me only, to look back at when I need to.
I dont want to spring this everyone and leave people wondering what happened. And I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. This is not about me being bored with reading you all and not wanting to be part of your life. I will sorely miss you all. But this is something I need to do. And, as I said, I dont know if I will find it in me to do it. I really hope I can. And if I do, I'll ask you to please respect my wishes and remove me.
I'm going to disable comments. I have most of your on FB - which I will keep as it is nowhere as big a timesucker for me. I can keep up with you on there. And if I dont have your on FB, please, add me. Or else, my email is tradominique @ gmail.com
This is really hard, because I've loved it here, for a long time. You, this place have been here for me when I needed it. This is an addiction that will be hard to kick. I've had this journal for almost 10 years.
Someone mentioned lately not wanting their kids to look back at their childhood and remember that mommy was always with her laptop. I read that and it felt like a punch in the gut, and it left me gasping for air. I dont want my kids to remember me at the computer only. And honestly, this is how they'll remember me, unless I change something. And I have to change something. This is taking time away from my family. This is making me very unproductive at work. And it is making me unhappy.
I barely come in here during the weekend, and I dont miss it then, and dont even think of stuff to say. I mainly come here to avoid having to work, which is wrong on so many levels. And in the end, it could put my job in jeopardy, which... I cant even go there.
I dont think I will ever delete this journal entirely, because of all the memories of my kids in it. I'll try to download the contents anyway. But honestly, what I really hope I can find it in me to do is remove everyone, remove all the communities and put everything I've posted on private and keep this journal for me only, to look back at when I need to.
I dont want to spring this everyone and leave people wondering what happened. And I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. This is not about me being bored with reading you all and not wanting to be part of your life. I will sorely miss you all. But this is something I need to do. And, as I said, I dont know if I will find it in me to do it. I really hope I can. And if I do, I'll ask you to please respect my wishes and remove me.
I'm going to disable comments. I have most of your on FB - which I will keep as it is nowhere as big a timesucker for me. I can keep up with you on there. And if I dont have your on FB, please, add me. Or else, my email is tradominique @ gmail.com
This is really hard, because I've loved it here, for a long time. You, this place have been here for me when I needed it. This is an addiction that will be hard to kick. I've had this journal for almost 10 years.