if only i could freeze.
so it's been awhile. i suppose that i've been so busy recently laughing and crying and talking and desperately grasping, that reading and writing livejournals just seemed inconsequential. at this point, i feel as though every second should be spent doing something that in a too little number of days, i won't be able to do anymore. and that's what it is now- a matter of days. tomorrow is the first one (good luck, lex). and in the days following, i will hug the rest of them goodbye and fight the pointless tears as i watch them all leave one by one, or sometimes in teary-eyed groups. and as optimistic as i rarely, but sometimes, try to be, whenever i think about college, those stomachaches again smash me to the point of Rolaid popping-try to breathe deeply-keeled over oblivion.
my mom got me this green plastic box that is probably about a foot long and six inches high and wide. she told me to put my memories in it. so in go the tassles, the dried up flowers, the orangey parking pass, the cap, programs and certificates. it just seems trivial and a little disrespectful to put what was my life into a box.
i guess what was my life is now nastalgia.