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right when i think things are beginning to look far sunnier, they seem
to fall straight back down again, hitting a cement floor with a
sickening, stomach-churning thud.
i'm not quite sure how i am supposed to be feeling right now. i sense that i'm stuck in the middle zone, a no man's land with emotional extremes on either side. this is not a happy medium.
it's more of a strange, dazed confusion.
but, but, but...i have stephanie. and i have akif. without them, i think i may have resorted to a hermitude of depression. being with sk today made my world so much better. i love her. so, so, so much. with her, everything is funny. and akif, akif. i fell asleep last night on the phone with him. i called him today and told him all my problems. he made me laugh. god these problems are so trivial, yet seem so substantial to me. no, but if they are so trivial, why are so many people being absolutely ripped apart inside? i feel worse for him than for anyone else. he listens, and tries so hard, and it kills him.
i'm not quite sure how i am supposed to be feeling right now. i sense that i'm stuck in the middle zone, a no man's land with emotional extremes on either side. this is not a happy medium.
it's more of a strange, dazed confusion.
but, but, but...i have stephanie. and i have akif. without them, i think i may have resorted to a hermitude of depression. being with sk today made my world so much better. i love her. so, so, so much. with her, everything is funny. and akif, akif. i fell asleep last night on the phone with him. i called him today and told him all my problems. he made me laugh. god these problems are so trivial, yet seem so substantial to me. no, but if they are so trivial, why are so many people being absolutely ripped apart inside? i feel worse for him than for anyone else. he listens, and tries so hard, and it kills him.