(no subject)
If it weren't for distraction, what would my life look like? Books, booze, starving, motorcycles, bicycles. I have gone through those except the last two. Actually, except for drinking, I dabble in all of those to a greater or lesser degree. What next? Does this end, or is this what life really is like for everyone? Thirty or forty more years of this? Are we really just clever monkeys who play a game called Life where we get a job to pass the time doing something that doesn't really matter anyway, mate, procreate, raise our children, watch them learn the game and drift away, and then die?
There has got to be more to life than just this. I am not a religious person, but I understand why many feel the deep need for religion in order to imbue their lives with meaning. I believe in God, or something that for want of a better term I call God. I believe the best I can ever aspire to is to be of service to those around me, and I try to do so to the best of my ability in an unobtrusive way - help where it isn't wanted is not help, it's intrusion. Still, even helpfulness hasn't given my life any meaning. What do I expect? Hollywood? Something dramatic to come of this?
I'm scared. I'm alone. My past makes no sense to me, and the future makes even less sense.
There has got to be more to life than just this. I am not a religious person, but I understand why many feel the deep need for religion in order to imbue their lives with meaning. I believe in God, or something that for want of a better term I call God. I believe the best I can ever aspire to is to be of service to those around me, and I try to do so to the best of my ability in an unobtrusive way - help where it isn't wanted is not help, it's intrusion. Still, even helpfulness hasn't given my life any meaning. What do I expect? Hollywood? Something dramatic to come of this?
I'm scared. I'm alone. My past makes no sense to me, and the future makes even less sense.