Angstville, Population: Us
Before we begin, I just want to say that I usually watch the last ten or so minutes of WWE, just to make sure the livestream isn't going to crap out on me, but I watch it with the sound muted while I do other things. And last night, I was, like, live-blogging it in my head. I don't even know. Also, my favorite thing about "Sanctuary" live, besides the show itself, obviously, is all the commercials for Cialis.
Also, this is going to be a picspam review of the episode. Because any time Nikola has a 'stache, I want to document it. Welcome to Saturday.
"Previously, on Sanctuary..."
Uh-oh, Amanda's not gonna like that.
(Warning: What is ahead is a lot of pictures and quoting the episode and not a lot of original thought or coherency. This is not quality.)
Helen Magnus in scrubs is on of my favorite things.
"I'm a hundred and fifty-nine years old - you have known me for three!"
Well, hello, foxy lad. Is that a mustache I see?
Okay, the five all in one room. Can we talk about how that's one of my favorite things ever?
And also how Nigel is Peter Laird from BSG? And how I loved Peter Laird? Okay, that's out of the way. (Also these scenes with the five are hard because I want to screen grab EVERYTHING that happens and basically transcribe every word that comes out of their mouths.)
This is just because I love when I press "Capture" and ridiculous things come out.
And this is just because of that wig. And the 'stache in the background. Also, you know, Amanda's really pretty.
There is serious math on that board guys. Do you see that bell curve? Do you see that x and y? There are variables at stake.
And if the Five were almost the Six, their fake TV show could have been called Six Degrees of Separation. (But it's okay because I love the Five a lot and I don't want anything to change)
The bustle! (Or the hustle). And more math. "6 hrs!"
"You have to admit he's brilliant."
"And British."
"Has anyone else noticed anything odd about Adam?"
"You just pointed it out. He's British." WINK
"The five of us are enough." Nghhhhhhhhhh. Love.
I have lots of really strong feelings of fondness for the nineteenth-century. Every time I've had to do a research paper about anything in the last six years, it has been about something taking place in the Victorian Age. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
New BroTP? I think so. I really love everything about everytime they interact.
Here's Helen Magnus in scrubs again. I do what I want.
"Your protege? Or male concubine?" Will's faaaaaace.
"Helen. you've grown so impatient in your old age."
"Good lad. So he carved up a few whores. We've all got our quirks."
This is what Nikola Tesla looks like when he's been caught in a lie.
AND THEN NOW IT GETS INTO SERIOUS BUSINESS.
"And you are nothing if not a man of your word."
"When it counts."
"What with me no longer being a vampire and him still being a stone cold killer."
"Did you bring me jell-o? And is it blue?"
(I feel as though there is even less coherency than usual here. I'm just enjoying everything about this episode. Some people say they like "Breach" better, and I will always love "Breach," but I do love a good angst-ridden, plot-driven episode. And that's what this is.)
"Please help me, concubine." Never. Gets. Old. (Seriously, I simultaneously hate and love Adam. LIKE DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE. There are layers of meaning here.)
And we're back the the brotp. Here is just a transcription because I love them, okay.
Nikola: "It took me, me, mind you, days to crack that holographic pinata (!!) in the library. And then after several bottles of Chablis, I finally get over my humiliation and then this shipment of fresh hell arrives."
Henry: "Okay, find your happy place."
Nikola: "I mean this is technology I've never seen before, much less imagined, and to be brutally honest, and I don't want this getting out, I find this rather humbling, and I don't do humble."
Henry: "Copy that."
HEINRICH!
ORGANIC NANITE MATTER. RUN FROM THE REPLICATORS. (I told you - we all saw Trail of Blood. We saw the replipedes.)
This is Helen Magnus, tired of your bullshit.
"Avatar council?" I am feeling slightly dubious about the naming of this.
"Deep in the darkness, peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing.
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before"
"A poem?"
"Now there was a whack job."
(I would like to point out that right now, IMDb is crediting the four main cast members and the girl that plays Imogene. And no one else. So that girl has got herself a good agent, because Ian Tracey and Vincent Gale are not even listed yet.)
Here is just another picture of Helen in the Victorian Age. (Look, maybe they're in Edwardian times now. I don't know. Either way, I still love it a lot.)
She pulls out a wad of money, and it is mostly ones, you guys. I mean, I see a twenty there, but still. You know she's going to a strip club later - let off some steam. (Insert inappropriate comment about Druitt and needing a throat to slit.) (This is also a time to note that I am secretly really intrigued by "Hollywood Treasure" - it's Christmas toys this week!)
Anyway, I love when Helen is way more bad ass than everyone else.
"SERIOUSLY?"
"Move."
(This is a replay of Kali 3 ["Really? Why? Why do I even hire these men?"])
"You're all fired." Well-played, John Druitt, well-played.
"Without the weapons.
This picture and scene make me have feelings.Also Helen is very well-manicured. In case you were wondering about that.
"What have you taken?"
"Little of this, of that." Christopher Heyerdahl, please be more wonderful. Oh, you can't? You've maxed out your wonderful quota? Well, that's understandable. You are pretty wonderful.
Okay, this is happening.
Nigel Griffin. The invisible man.
Dr. James Watson. Detective supreme.
And Nikola Tesla. Vampire. And genius.
And Montague John Druitt. Menace to society.
(Montague? MONTAGUE?)
I wish I could get a better shot of this, but do you see how Helen Magnus is queen? Do you see it?
"We thought the day would come when the five of you might prove useful."
"Well, I'm flattered."
"I'm proud to offer you now the opportunity to serve your country."
"I'm Serbian."
"Just ignore him."
Is this a new OTP? Wine/Tesla? Why yes. Yes it is.
"That is so James Bond, except it's before there was a James Bond, so it's cooler."
I do not know what those white blobs on the screen mean, but I can tell from the music that it is not good.
We've all seen the promo picture, so I'm not going to screengrab it. But man oh man. I was just. Allergies and things in my eye all over the place. I just feel so bad for Helen. My heart, it aches. But really, I might watch that moment over and over again.
"Just so you know, I've forgiven you. For shooting me."
"Just tell me the killing's stopped."
"So we're returning to lying to one another."
"Once this is over, you and I will begin our dance again."
"Count in it."
WATSON/HELEN. nighttones is always right, just so you know.
"That's not Adam's blood."
"It's yours."
THAT JUST MADE MY HEART SAD. Also so does the giant bruise on her face.
"We will whip Tesla like a rented mule until he makes a breakthrough."
"I like the whipping Tesla idea." nghhhhhhhhhhh. That gives me thoughts.
"Loss of daughter. The wound that never heals."
"I think he's handling differently than you."
Seriously, this season is all about acknowledging Ashley. Which I approve of. Just so much angst happening in my heart.
"Victoria was wrong about him. Old Albert certainly does have a backbone." LOVE.
"Sounds like we've been hired for a job."
"Like a theater troupe!"
"Kill Worth just because his Lordship says so."
"He's not Lord, he's King. And no, go to hell. Mr. Prime Minister."
"Seconded."
"Do it yourself, you lazy squids(?)"
"Indeed. We are not assassins. Not for political gain at least."
"Darling."
There. That is the picture I wanted. Helen seated and everyone around her. Because she is queen.
Do you see these GQMFs? Do you see how Helen wears leather even in the nineteenth century?
Promo picture for The Five Sitcom. In Which The Five Become a Crimefighting Pentet.
"How quaint. A woman with a firearm." Don't you know she will fuck you up, Adam? Don't you know that?
"The second shot won't be as kind." Helen Magnus. I am terrified of her and love her all at once. This is why I will never involve myself in abnormal trafficking. Because I do not want Helen Magnus to come after me.
Will. SHUT UP. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. There was just so much wrong about his righteous indignation. I will remind him of what Helen told him at the beginning of the episode. She is 159. He's known her for three years. (Also that made me think: "How many years have you known me, Will Zimmerman?" "Three." "Then you know how I like to minister to transgender prostitutes." "I don't think I knew that, no." "It's true, she doesn't mess with them, she just tries to get them into computer school.")
(I would also like to say that this is the point in the episode where the police knocked on my door to ask what the address of my apartment building is.)
"You know better than to follow an angry woman out of a room."
Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeeeeeeeeel you. That is how I know you.
Go on.
I do wonder how Adam is still alive if he's been exposing himself to this radiation/time rift stuff about eight million times more than Helen - she went through the rift exactly once. She shouldn't be as bad as he is. Minor quibble because I'm still pretty emotional about her illness.
"It's the ultimate toy box. Nirvana for the gifted." If I ever have a band, it's going to be called "Ultimate Toy Box" and our first album will be called "Nirvana for the Gifted." It will probably be Grammy-nominated in a new category: Best Album Name of 20never.
HELEN HAS HAD THE SANCTUARY NETWORK TAKEN AWAY FROM HER TWICE NOW. I do not like it at all. Didn't they learn from Kali that Helen should always be in charge? Come on.
This season. Man alive.
Now I'm just going to watch it again, okay. And then maybe I'll do some work.
Also, this is going to be a picspam review of the episode. Because any time Nikola has a 'stache, I want to document it. Welcome to Saturday.
"Previously, on Sanctuary..."
Uh-oh, Amanda's not gonna like that.
(Warning: What is ahead is a lot of pictures and quoting the episode and not a lot of original thought or coherency. This is not quality.)
Helen Magnus in scrubs is on of my favorite things.
"I'm a hundred and fifty-nine years old - you have known me for three!"
Well, hello, foxy lad. Is that a mustache I see?
Okay, the five all in one room. Can we talk about how that's one of my favorite things ever?
And also how Nigel is Peter Laird from BSG? And how I loved Peter Laird? Okay, that's out of the way. (Also these scenes with the five are hard because I want to screen grab EVERYTHING that happens and basically transcribe every word that comes out of their mouths.)
This is just because I love when I press "Capture" and ridiculous things come out.
And this is just because of that wig. And the 'stache in the background. Also, you know, Amanda's really pretty.
There is serious math on that board guys. Do you see that bell curve? Do you see that x and y? There are variables at stake.
And if the Five were almost the Six, their fake TV show could have been called Six Degrees of Separation. (But it's okay because I love the Five a lot and I don't want anything to change)
The bustle! (Or the hustle). And more math. "6 hrs!"
"You have to admit he's brilliant."
"And British."
"Has anyone else noticed anything odd about Adam?"
"You just pointed it out. He's British." WINK
"The five of us are enough." Nghhhhhhhhhh. Love.
I have lots of really strong feelings of fondness for the nineteenth-century. Every time I've had to do a research paper about anything in the last six years, it has been about something taking place in the Victorian Age. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
New BroTP? I think so. I really love everything about everytime they interact.
Here's Helen Magnus in scrubs again. I do what I want.
"Your protege? Or male concubine?" Will's faaaaaace.
"Helen. you've grown so impatient in your old age."
"Good lad. So he carved up a few whores. We've all got our quirks."
This is what Nikola Tesla looks like when he's been caught in a lie.
AND THEN NOW IT GETS INTO SERIOUS BUSINESS.
"And you are nothing if not a man of your word."
"When it counts."
"What with me no longer being a vampire and him still being a stone cold killer."
"Did you bring me jell-o? And is it blue?"
(I feel as though there is even less coherency than usual here. I'm just enjoying everything about this episode. Some people say they like "Breach" better, and I will always love "Breach," but I do love a good angst-ridden, plot-driven episode. And that's what this is.)
"Please help me, concubine." Never. Gets. Old. (Seriously, I simultaneously hate and love Adam. LIKE DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE. There are layers of meaning here.)
And we're back the the brotp. Here is just a transcription because I love them, okay.
Nikola: "It took me, me, mind you, days to crack that holographic pinata (!!) in the library. And then after several bottles of Chablis, I finally get over my humiliation and then this shipment of fresh hell arrives."
Henry: "Okay, find your happy place."
Nikola: "I mean this is technology I've never seen before, much less imagined, and to be brutally honest, and I don't want this getting out, I find this rather humbling, and I don't do humble."
Henry: "Copy that."
HEINRICH!
ORGANIC NANITE MATTER. RUN FROM THE REPLICATORS. (I told you - we all saw Trail of Blood. We saw the replipedes.)
This is Helen Magnus, tired of your bullshit.
"Avatar council?" I am feeling slightly dubious about the naming of this.
"Deep in the darkness, peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing.
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before"
"A poem?"
"Now there was a whack job."
(I would like to point out that right now, IMDb is crediting the four main cast members and the girl that plays Imogene. And no one else. So that girl has got herself a good agent, because Ian Tracey and Vincent Gale are not even listed yet.)
Here is just another picture of Helen in the Victorian Age. (Look, maybe they're in Edwardian times now. I don't know. Either way, I still love it a lot.)
She pulls out a wad of money, and it is mostly ones, you guys. I mean, I see a twenty there, but still. You know she's going to a strip club later - let off some steam. (Insert inappropriate comment about Druitt and needing a throat to slit.) (This is also a time to note that I am secretly really intrigued by "Hollywood Treasure" - it's Christmas toys this week!)
Anyway, I love when Helen is way more bad ass than everyone else.
"SERIOUSLY?"
"Move."
(This is a replay of Kali 3 ["Really? Why? Why do I even hire these men?"])
"You're all fired." Well-played, John Druitt, well-played.
"Without the weapons.
This picture and scene make me have feelings.Also Helen is very well-manicured. In case you were wondering about that.
"What have you taken?"
"Little of this, of that." Christopher Heyerdahl, please be more wonderful. Oh, you can't? You've maxed out your wonderful quota? Well, that's understandable. You are pretty wonderful.
Okay, this is happening.
Nigel Griffin. The invisible man.
Dr. James Watson. Detective supreme.
And Nikola Tesla. Vampire. And genius.
And Montague John Druitt. Menace to society.
(Montague? MONTAGUE?)
I wish I could get a better shot of this, but do you see how Helen Magnus is queen? Do you see it?
"We thought the day would come when the five of you might prove useful."
"Well, I'm flattered."
"I'm proud to offer you now the opportunity to serve your country."
"I'm Serbian."
"Just ignore him."
Is this a new OTP? Wine/Tesla? Why yes. Yes it is.
"That is so James Bond, except it's before there was a James Bond, so it's cooler."
I do not know what those white blobs on the screen mean, but I can tell from the music that it is not good.
We've all seen the promo picture, so I'm not going to screengrab it. But man oh man. I was just. Allergies and things in my eye all over the place. I just feel so bad for Helen. My heart, it aches. But really, I might watch that moment over and over again.
"Just so you know, I've forgiven you. For shooting me."
"Just tell me the killing's stopped."
"So we're returning to lying to one another."
"Once this is over, you and I will begin our dance again."
"Count in it."
WATSON/HELEN. nighttones is always right, just so you know.
"That's not Adam's blood."
"It's yours."
THAT JUST MADE MY HEART SAD. Also so does the giant bruise on her face.
"We will whip Tesla like a rented mule until he makes a breakthrough."
"I like the whipping Tesla idea." nghhhhhhhhhhh. That gives me thoughts.
"Loss of daughter. The wound that never heals."
"I think he's handling differently than you."
Seriously, this season is all about acknowledging Ashley. Which I approve of. Just so much angst happening in my heart.
"Victoria was wrong about him. Old Albert certainly does have a backbone." LOVE.
"Sounds like we've been hired for a job."
"Like a theater troupe!"
"Kill Worth just because his Lordship says so."
"He's not Lord, he's King. And no, go to hell. Mr. Prime Minister."
"Seconded."
"Do it yourself, you lazy squids(?)"
"Indeed. We are not assassins. Not for political gain at least."
"Darling."
There. That is the picture I wanted. Helen seated and everyone around her. Because she is queen.
Do you see these GQMFs? Do you see how Helen wears leather even in the nineteenth century?
Promo picture for The Five Sitcom. In Which The Five Become a Crimefighting Pentet.
"How quaint. A woman with a firearm." Don't you know she will fuck you up, Adam? Don't you know that?
"The second shot won't be as kind." Helen Magnus. I am terrified of her and love her all at once. This is why I will never involve myself in abnormal trafficking. Because I do not want Helen Magnus to come after me.
Will. SHUT UP. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. There was just so much wrong about his righteous indignation. I will remind him of what Helen told him at the beginning of the episode. She is 159. He's known her for three years. (Also that made me think: "How many years have you known me, Will Zimmerman?" "Three." "Then you know how I like to minister to transgender prostitutes." "I don't think I knew that, no." "It's true, she doesn't mess with them, she just tries to get them into computer school.")
(I would also like to say that this is the point in the episode where the police knocked on my door to ask what the address of my apartment building is.)
"You know better than to follow an angry woman out of a room."
Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeeeeeeeeel you. That is how I know you.
Go on.
I do wonder how Adam is still alive if he's been exposing himself to this radiation/time rift stuff about eight million times more than Helen - she went through the rift exactly once. She shouldn't be as bad as he is. Minor quibble because I'm still pretty emotional about her illness.
"It's the ultimate toy box. Nirvana for the gifted." If I ever have a band, it's going to be called "Ultimate Toy Box" and our first album will be called "Nirvana for the Gifted." It will probably be Grammy-nominated in a new category: Best Album Name of 20never.
HELEN HAS HAD THE SANCTUARY NETWORK TAKEN AWAY FROM HER TWICE NOW. I do not like it at all. Didn't they learn from Kali that Helen should always be in charge? Come on.
This season. Man alive.
Now I'm just going to watch it again, okay. And then maybe I'll do some work.