16 May 1982 - as Piper Poke
I spent most of the day having my intelligence questioned by Addison.
Then he went and got our cousin Mark.
Mark at least can be more reasonable than Addison, but I felt like a 16 year old girl who couldn't do anything right that a 33 year old woman who is going to be a single mother. Kevin promised to help, I believe him, but he's a Cursebreaker and there's a good chance he'll be dead before he's 40. I know he'll help, he's been good to me.
I know I started off doing this for the wrong reasons, it's against what my family thinks. We're supposed to do the right things but since we're all so bloody awkward, the Poke name is going to die beca. We're not supposed to sleep around.
I know I let them all down.
But I'm 33 and I'm not getting any younger.
I wish that things could have been different, that this would have been the right way. But no one looked at me any other way except for except Kevin Perkins and this is where I am.
If Charles and I had worked then I probably would have been a mum three times over but I was scared that he would get hurt. There as the war and I did the right thing. I saw his children once, I went to make sure he was okay. They're beautiful kids.
I know that I can do this.
I just wish that they would stop with the WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING MARRIED?
I know it's what I should do, but it's not - I couldn't do that to anyone.
1. I suppose everyone knows now.
2. I'm due 10 December.
3. I don't know what I'm having.