"Finding Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
I really enjoyed this book as it put how I spend my time in better perspective in terms of being able to enjoy work and putting the effort into getting the most out of free time. The only difficulty with the latter is, as the author mentioned, staying disciplined during unstructured leisure time so that I put the necessary effort in and get the greater satisfaction out.
How do we spend our time?
How do we feel when doing different things?
Why do we wish we weren't working?
Why don't we feel better after the weekend?
Why are relationships important?
Which is better, to be extroverted or introverted?
How to improve job satisfaction and reduce stress
Why we should put more effort into our families
Why we should put more effort into other interactions
In Conclusion: a more fulfilling life through flow activities
How do we spend our time?
All people, cross-culture, gender, and age split their time relatively evenly between productive, maintenance, and leisure activities.
Productive Activities
24-60%
Work/Studying
20-45%
Talking/eating/daydreaming @work
4-15%
Maintenance Activities
20-42%
Housework8-22%
Eating3-5%
Grooming3-6%
Driving3-9%
Leisure Activities
20-43%
TV/reading9-13%
Hobbies/sports/movies/restaurants4-13%
Talking/socializing/sex4-12%
Idling/resting3-5%
People feel best when they do what they want, 2nd best when they have to do something, & worst when they have nothing better to do, as intrinsic or extrinsic motivation both provide focus for goals. Through a consistent set of long-term goals, we can develop a coherent self, such as Mother Teresa or Madonna.
How do we feel when doing different things?
The graph shows the states that we enter depending on the amount of balance between our challenges and our skills.
When we are in a state of arousal, we feel focused, active, and involved, but not strong, cheerful, or in control. To improve we need to learn new skills. When we are in a state of control we feel happy, strong, and satisfied, but not focused, involved, or feel it's important. To improve we need to learn to increase challenges.
One way to improve the quality of life is to engineer daily activities that are the most rewarding experiences: in studies active leisure activities (hobbies, sports, movies, socializing, talking, and sex) have scored positively for happiness, motivation, concentration, and flow. Any social interaction improves experience by giving something productive to focus on rather than let our minds unravel and become anxious and depressed.
Why do we wish we weren't working?
Why, when we're at work, do we often wish we were doing something else when work provides some of our most intense & satisfying moments, and gives us a sense of pride & identity? "Without the goals and challenges provided by a job, only a rare self-discipline can keep the mind focused intensely enough to ensure a meaningful life." Work has the potential to produce flow: it has clear goals & rules, provides feedback, encourages concentration & ideally can offer balance in control and difficulty. Due to management not paying enough attention to the wellbeing of its workers and the cultural disrepute of work, we wrongly assume that work can't provide the intrinsic rewards we need, and thus we have to wait to have a good time after we've left the office. But when cultural prejudice is put aside, we can choose to shape our job to be personally meaningful & enhance our quality of life. At the same time, to avoid being workaholics, we need to seek flow in other experiences such as family life and active leisure.
Why don't we feel better after the weekend?
Free time is more difficult to enjoy than work unless we know how to use it effectively. Often physical and mental health decline during weekends, holidays, when we're alone, and when we have nothing to do. Without goals and social opportunities, we lose motivation and concentration. Active leisure is much more likely to produce heightened enjoyment, but is not engaged in as much as passive leisure because of the prep work or "activation energy" necessary. Some relaxation is ok, but too much can be a detriment to our work, our relationships, and ourselves. To make the best use of free time, we should use it to develop skills, knowledge, and creative pursuits. We shouldn't be afraid to be an amateur poet, musician, inventor, explorer, scholar, scientist, artist, or collector as doing so will add enjoyment and interest to our lives and to the lives of those around us.
Why are relationships important?
Our best and worst moods are often caused by other people. Thus our interactions and relationships are important to our well-being. In order to benefit from a relationship, we must find compatibility between our goals and invest attention in the other's goals. Our most positive experiences are with friends because we can have compatible goals, equality, mutual benefits, and no exploitation due to external constraints, as well as emotional and intellectual stimulation through trying new things and activities and developing new attitudes, ideas, and values. This ideal requires us to challenge each other rather than become content and stagnant.
Which is better, to be extroverted or introverted?
To be introverted or extroverted seems less important to a "good life" as finding a balance between solitary progress and progress through seeing people, hearing people, exchanging ideas, & getting to know another's work.
How to improve job satisfaction and reduce stress
Because our job is such a central part of life, it is essential that it be as enjoyable and rewarding as possible. The top 3 reasons for job resentment are:
1. It's pointless - it doesn't do any good to anyone
2. It's boring & routine, lacks variety & challenge
3. It's stressful.
Change is necessary, by pursuing a more rewarding job, or making our jobs more meaningful by putting additional energy into:
1. Making a positive impact
2. Improving the process through innovativeness, efficiency, and attention to details that can result in discoveries
3. Disconnecting external strain from internal stress. When we feel our challenges exceed our skills, we need to prioritize the importance of the demands and then match our skills with our challenges by asking ourselves--Can the task be delegated or assisted? Can I learn the necessary skills in time? Can the task be transformed or broken into simpler parts? By ordering tasks, analyzing them, and strategizing solutions for them, we can exercise the control necessary to avoid stress.
Why we should put more effort into our families
There is often a conflict between our work and our relationships. We need to find ways to balance the meaningfulness or the rewards we get from work and from relationships. A marriage and family is held together by both the material energy of a paycheck and the personal energy of investing attention in each other's goals by sharing ideas, emotions, activities, memories, and dreams. Now that families are kept together less by social pressure and more by personal choice, they are vulnerable unless they provide their members with intrinsic rewards through interaction. Thus a successful family requires the same amount of effort and investment that is put into attaining career success. In order to develop intrinsic rewards we should find and pursue shared interests and goals such as topics to read about, outdoor activities, travel plans, etc.
Why we should put more effort into other interactions
In any relationship, the root of interpersonal conflict is often an excessive concern for oneself and an inability to pay attention to the needs of others. People can serve their own interests best by helping others achieve theirs. This includes not only working towards self-advancement at work, but also towards advancing corporate goals.
Sporadic interactions can also be an opportunity for growth, if we concentrate on the other person long enough to exchange knowledge or emotions. To start a good conversation, first find out the other person's goals: What are they currently interested in? Involved in? Trying to accomplish or have accomplished? Utilize your experience or expertise on the topic and develop it together.
In Conclusion: a more fulfilling life through flow activities
An autotelic activity is one that we pursue for our own sakes, out of sheer involvement and enthusiasm rather than for an extrinsic reward such as money or recognition. People that pursue autotelic activities then become less dependent on material possessions, status, or other circumstances in order to stay happy and motivated. They are also more independent and less easily bribed or threatened. The activities they pursue are often high-challenge, high-skill (such as work, active leisure, and socializing) and result in higher concentration, enjoyment, self-esteem, and belief that the activity is important for their future. Happiness isn't actually a good measure of someone's quality of life as people tend to report being happy even when they dislike their jobs, have a nonexistent home life, and spend their time in meaningless activities. Instead, we should seek activities that provide growth, involvement, and enjoyment to have an excellent life.
How do we spend our time?
How do we feel when doing different things?
Why do we wish we weren't working?
Why don't we feel better after the weekend?
Why are relationships important?
Which is better, to be extroverted or introverted?
How to improve job satisfaction and reduce stress
Why we should put more effort into our families
Why we should put more effort into other interactions
In Conclusion: a more fulfilling life through flow activities
How do we spend our time?
All people, cross-culture, gender, and age split their time relatively evenly between productive, maintenance, and leisure activities.
Productive Activities
24-60%
Work/Studying
20-45%
Talking/eating/daydreaming @work
4-15%
Maintenance Activities
20-42%
Housework8-22%
Eating3-5%
Grooming3-6%
Driving3-9%
Leisure Activities
20-43%
TV/reading9-13%
Hobbies/sports/movies/restaurants4-13%
Talking/socializing/sex4-12%
Idling/resting3-5%
People feel best when they do what they want, 2nd best when they have to do something, & worst when they have nothing better to do, as intrinsic or extrinsic motivation both provide focus for goals. Through a consistent set of long-term goals, we can develop a coherent self, such as Mother Teresa or Madonna.
How do we feel when doing different things?
The graph shows the states that we enter depending on the amount of balance between our challenges and our skills.
When we are in a state of arousal, we feel focused, active, and involved, but not strong, cheerful, or in control. To improve we need to learn new skills. When we are in a state of control we feel happy, strong, and satisfied, but not focused, involved, or feel it's important. To improve we need to learn to increase challenges.
One way to improve the quality of life is to engineer daily activities that are the most rewarding experiences: in studies active leisure activities (hobbies, sports, movies, socializing, talking, and sex) have scored positively for happiness, motivation, concentration, and flow. Any social interaction improves experience by giving something productive to focus on rather than let our minds unravel and become anxious and depressed.
Why do we wish we weren't working?
Why, when we're at work, do we often wish we were doing something else when work provides some of our most intense & satisfying moments, and gives us a sense of pride & identity? "Without the goals and challenges provided by a job, only a rare self-discipline can keep the mind focused intensely enough to ensure a meaningful life." Work has the potential to produce flow: it has clear goals & rules, provides feedback, encourages concentration & ideally can offer balance in control and difficulty. Due to management not paying enough attention to the wellbeing of its workers and the cultural disrepute of work, we wrongly assume that work can't provide the intrinsic rewards we need, and thus we have to wait to have a good time after we've left the office. But when cultural prejudice is put aside, we can choose to shape our job to be personally meaningful & enhance our quality of life. At the same time, to avoid being workaholics, we need to seek flow in other experiences such as family life and active leisure.
Why don't we feel better after the weekend?
Free time is more difficult to enjoy than work unless we know how to use it effectively. Often physical and mental health decline during weekends, holidays, when we're alone, and when we have nothing to do. Without goals and social opportunities, we lose motivation and concentration. Active leisure is much more likely to produce heightened enjoyment, but is not engaged in as much as passive leisure because of the prep work or "activation energy" necessary. Some relaxation is ok, but too much can be a detriment to our work, our relationships, and ourselves. To make the best use of free time, we should use it to develop skills, knowledge, and creative pursuits. We shouldn't be afraid to be an amateur poet, musician, inventor, explorer, scholar, scientist, artist, or collector as doing so will add enjoyment and interest to our lives and to the lives of those around us.
Why are relationships important?
Our best and worst moods are often caused by other people. Thus our interactions and relationships are important to our well-being. In order to benefit from a relationship, we must find compatibility between our goals and invest attention in the other's goals. Our most positive experiences are with friends because we can have compatible goals, equality, mutual benefits, and no exploitation due to external constraints, as well as emotional and intellectual stimulation through trying new things and activities and developing new attitudes, ideas, and values. This ideal requires us to challenge each other rather than become content and stagnant.
Which is better, to be extroverted or introverted?
To be introverted or extroverted seems less important to a "good life" as finding a balance between solitary progress and progress through seeing people, hearing people, exchanging ideas, & getting to know another's work.
How to improve job satisfaction and reduce stress
Because our job is such a central part of life, it is essential that it be as enjoyable and rewarding as possible. The top 3 reasons for job resentment are:
1. It's pointless - it doesn't do any good to anyone
2. It's boring & routine, lacks variety & challenge
3. It's stressful.
Change is necessary, by pursuing a more rewarding job, or making our jobs more meaningful by putting additional energy into:
1. Making a positive impact
2. Improving the process through innovativeness, efficiency, and attention to details that can result in discoveries
3. Disconnecting external strain from internal stress. When we feel our challenges exceed our skills, we need to prioritize the importance of the demands and then match our skills with our challenges by asking ourselves--Can the task be delegated or assisted? Can I learn the necessary skills in time? Can the task be transformed or broken into simpler parts? By ordering tasks, analyzing them, and strategizing solutions for them, we can exercise the control necessary to avoid stress.
Why we should put more effort into our families
There is often a conflict between our work and our relationships. We need to find ways to balance the meaningfulness or the rewards we get from work and from relationships. A marriage and family is held together by both the material energy of a paycheck and the personal energy of investing attention in each other's goals by sharing ideas, emotions, activities, memories, and dreams. Now that families are kept together less by social pressure and more by personal choice, they are vulnerable unless they provide their members with intrinsic rewards through interaction. Thus a successful family requires the same amount of effort and investment that is put into attaining career success. In order to develop intrinsic rewards we should find and pursue shared interests and goals such as topics to read about, outdoor activities, travel plans, etc.
Why we should put more effort into other interactions
In any relationship, the root of interpersonal conflict is often an excessive concern for oneself and an inability to pay attention to the needs of others. People can serve their own interests best by helping others achieve theirs. This includes not only working towards self-advancement at work, but also towards advancing corporate goals.
Sporadic interactions can also be an opportunity for growth, if we concentrate on the other person long enough to exchange knowledge or emotions. To start a good conversation, first find out the other person's goals: What are they currently interested in? Involved in? Trying to accomplish or have accomplished? Utilize your experience or expertise on the topic and develop it together.
In Conclusion: a more fulfilling life through flow activities
An autotelic activity is one that we pursue for our own sakes, out of sheer involvement and enthusiasm rather than for an extrinsic reward such as money or recognition. People that pursue autotelic activities then become less dependent on material possessions, status, or other circumstances in order to stay happy and motivated. They are also more independent and less easily bribed or threatened. The activities they pursue are often high-challenge, high-skill (such as work, active leisure, and socializing) and result in higher concentration, enjoyment, self-esteem, and belief that the activity is important for their future. Happiness isn't actually a good measure of someone's quality of life as people tend to report being happy even when they dislike their jobs, have a nonexistent home life, and spend their time in meaningless activities. Instead, we should seek activities that provide growth, involvement, and enjoyment to have an excellent life.