You Know You're From Long Island When...
*You know someone who went to Chaminade.
*Jones Beach Theater is the best place in the world to see a concert.
CASE CLOSED!
*Is it just me, or is every girl from Rockville Centre a bitch?
*Billy Joel said it best, "Either you date a rich girl from the North
Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."
*What's the big deal about the Hamptons?
*If you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
*You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "the City"
*You know the Belt Parkway sucks!
*You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."
*You never realize you have an accent until you leave.
*You know where at least one strip club is.
*You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
*You curse. A lot.
*Is Huntington really that cool?
*The goddamn geese are everywhere!
*If your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.
*At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal
that came from North Shore Animal League.
*You actually remember when you felt safe swimming at Bar Beach or Lake
Ronkonkoma.
*Commack movie theatre scares you
*On the weekend, your evening consists of seeing a movie, going
bowling,or playing pool.
*When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it
becomes normal to you.
*No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
*You feel like you know Howard Stern.
*You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you
rarely go there.
*When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there,
you don't.
*You know that the beach sucks during the day and is the most magical
place in the world at night
*You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on
intuition.
*You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
*You've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. It
worked.
*No matter what you do, you end up at the diner.
*Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
*High school sports aren't that important.
*You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
*You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
*Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own
background.
*You love that salty smell of the ocean.
*No, you don't want mustard on that burger!
*The most exciting day of your summer is when all tickets to every
Jones Beach show go on sale.
*You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks. But, you
periodically "Get the Crave"
*You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to
more games if they moved to Manhattan.
*You can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.
*You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
*You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
*You watched a game show and wondered, "why are these people so happy
that they won a trip to New York?"
*You like The Brothers McMullen.
*When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" you try
to figure out what places on Long Island he's talking about.
*You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on LI.
*You always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy
Joel.
*At some point in your life, you've gone clamming.
*You've been to the Tanger Outlets and came home with nothing to show
for it.
*You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended
up in one of these three places; Babylon, Ronkonkoma or Hicksville.
*You have been to the Boardy Barn.
*You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the
dreaded wait until 5:30.
*You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it
grow up.
*Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel
*You hate the radio commercials for the Dublin Pub
*Public beach? What's that?
*You can correctly pronouce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip,
Islandia, Massapequa.
*You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
*You grew up thinking Chinese food was a basic food group.
*You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more
light-up menorahs than you can shake a latka at. In fact, even your
non-Jewish friends know what Matzoh is. And you've never driven more than 10 miles without seeing a temple.
*Oh, your parents are from Brooklyn? So are mine!
*Yes, admit it, you've cruised the Pike.
*You can remember making up rules for 'Shotgun' calls in high school.
*Your elementary school promoted dodge ball as the top gym activity.
*You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.
*You consider nachos and cheese at the Coliseum to be a suitable dinner
date.
*You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Long Island.
*Jones Beach Theater is the best place in the world to see a concert.
CASE CLOSED!
*Is it just me, or is every girl from Rockville Centre a bitch?
*Billy Joel said it best, "Either you date a rich girl from the North
Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."
*What's the big deal about the Hamptons?
*If you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
*You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "the City"
*You know the Belt Parkway sucks!
*You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."
*You never realize you have an accent until you leave.
*You know where at least one strip club is.
*You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
*You curse. A lot.
*Is Huntington really that cool?
*The goddamn geese are everywhere!
*If your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.
*At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal
that came from North Shore Animal League.
*You actually remember when you felt safe swimming at Bar Beach or Lake
Ronkonkoma.
*Commack movie theatre scares you
*On the weekend, your evening consists of seeing a movie, going
bowling,or playing pool.
*When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it
becomes normal to you.
*No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
*You feel like you know Howard Stern.
*You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you
rarely go there.
*When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there,
you don't.
*You know that the beach sucks during the day and is the most magical
place in the world at night
*You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on
intuition.
*You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
*You've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. It
worked.
*No matter what you do, you end up at the diner.
*Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
*High school sports aren't that important.
*You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
*You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
*Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own
background.
*You love that salty smell of the ocean.
*No, you don't want mustard on that burger!
*The most exciting day of your summer is when all tickets to every
Jones Beach show go on sale.
*You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks. But, you
periodically "Get the Crave"
*You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to
more games if they moved to Manhattan.
*You can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.
*You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
*You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
*You watched a game show and wondered, "why are these people so happy
that they won a trip to New York?"
*You like The Brothers McMullen.
*When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" you try
to figure out what places on Long Island he's talking about.
*You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on LI.
*You always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy
Joel.
*At some point in your life, you've gone clamming.
*You've been to the Tanger Outlets and came home with nothing to show
for it.
*You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended
up in one of these three places; Babylon, Ronkonkoma or Hicksville.
*You have been to the Boardy Barn.
*You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the
dreaded wait until 5:30.
*You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it
grow up.
*Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel
*You hate the radio commercials for the Dublin Pub
*Public beach? What's that?
*You can correctly pronouce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip,
Islandia, Massapequa.
*You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
*You grew up thinking Chinese food was a basic food group.
*You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more
light-up menorahs than you can shake a latka at. In fact, even your
non-Jewish friends know what Matzoh is. And you've never driven more than 10 miles without seeing a temple.
*Oh, your parents are from Brooklyn? So are mine!
*Yes, admit it, you've cruised the Pike.
*You can remember making up rules for 'Shotgun' calls in high school.
*Your elementary school promoted dodge ball as the top gym activity.
*You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.
*You consider nachos and cheese at the Coliseum to be a suitable dinner
date.
*You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Long Island.