Let me expand on that...
I feel up and down.
Nothing is really wrong. There are no sure signs of failure, though no startling signs of success. It is discouraging that even my best efforts to make friends and 'fit in' have more or less failed. I've more or less given up in that department.
So here we are again. What am I doing? I like learning the law. I don't like being mediocre and it is frustrating to think that there is a good chance I'll end my year somewhere in the middle of a middle range law school. What do I really have in the middle? Clearly I can't rely on my people skills. I keep thinking "if I'd gotten a higher LSAT score", as though that would somehow change the situation I am in. It really doesn't.
If anything the deminished prestige and prospects is an opportunity to take a hard look at my choice to become a lawyer. If I am just going to be another average attorney peddling papers at some firm, is this still what I want to do?
Maybe I should just more effort into trying to distinguish myself. Maybe some stupid test score doesn't matter. Yet, I feel myself branded by it- more in my heart than anywhere else.
The work is supposed to really kick up this month and I can't say my spirits are high even now. Still, it isn't killing me. Part of this was to test myself with something hard. I'm fairly certain it isn't the material that makes the first year of law school the hell that it is well known to be.
They say law school is like high school, and I feel like the same little outcasted teenager...like no time has past. Except now I can't cut class.
Nothing is really wrong. There are no sure signs of failure, though no startling signs of success. It is discouraging that even my best efforts to make friends and 'fit in' have more or less failed. I've more or less given up in that department.
So here we are again. What am I doing? I like learning the law. I don't like being mediocre and it is frustrating to think that there is a good chance I'll end my year somewhere in the middle of a middle range law school. What do I really have in the middle? Clearly I can't rely on my people skills. I keep thinking "if I'd gotten a higher LSAT score", as though that would somehow change the situation I am in. It really doesn't.
If anything the deminished prestige and prospects is an opportunity to take a hard look at my choice to become a lawyer. If I am just going to be another average attorney peddling papers at some firm, is this still what I want to do?
Maybe I should just more effort into trying to distinguish myself. Maybe some stupid test score doesn't matter. Yet, I feel myself branded by it- more in my heart than anywhere else.
The work is supposed to really kick up this month and I can't say my spirits are high even now. Still, it isn't killing me. Part of this was to test myself with something hard. I'm fairly certain it isn't the material that makes the first year of law school the hell that it is well known to be.
They say law school is like high school, and I feel like the same little outcasted teenager...like no time has past. Except now I can't cut class.