Fanfic: Set Fire To The Rain, Faye/Diana, The Secret Circle
Title: Set Fire To The Rain
Characters: Faye, Diana, Cassie, Adam, Melissa, Nick
Pairing: Unrequited Faye/Diana
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Faye's POV on the Pilot. Cassie is who she needs, but the one she's always wanted is Diana.
Spoilers: For the pilot
Word Count: 4,227
Disclaimer: I do not own The Secret Circle. Title and cut text from Adele's "Set Fire To the Rain"
Beta: opheliahyde
Notes: This is mostly a character piece, but I figure it's still going to be Jossed by episode 2 so I better get it out before that airs. ;)
Dedicated to: scorpiod1 who held my hand all the way through this. <3
As far as Faye is concerned, Cassie Blake is like Christmas come early.
To say that she needs Cassie is giving the girl a little too much credit; she wouldn’t be anything special if she wasn’t…necessary. If she wasn’t required for Faye to be so much more. So Cassie coming is exactly what she wanted and Faye is ready to be her bestest friend if Cassie does what she’s told
She knows she will, too, because the Circle is fate. Their fate is to come together, to be strong and powerful and everything they’ve ever dreamed. Power is not accidental-it is given to those who want it the most, who work for it the most-just like Diana always said. And when she sees Adam flirting with the Cassie, already trapped by her Disney princess looks, it feels like another building block of fate already moving into place.
Her mother accuses her of scheming, but her mother likes to think the worst of her. Faye doesn’t scheme. Schemes aren’t necessary if you have the talent and charisma to follow through with your plans.
“Adam’s a hottie. You should make a play, you’re totally his type,” she tells Cassie, keeping her tone as level as possible. The last thing she needs to seem is overexcited.
Melissa is actually nice just to be nice and it would frustrate her if she wasn’t such a good lead in for the difficult questions and actual conversations. But Faye doesn’t want to talk about dead fathers or the Satan’s spawn that is her mother. “Adam’s cute, don’t you think?” When Cassie takes a long look at Adam, Faye lets herself feel more confident. “And he really does go for the sad, delicate types.”
Cassie storming off like an inconsiderate brat is only a problem until Faye can detour her plan. “I don’t think she knows,” Melissa says, and Faye knows she’d regret saying it if she could hear what was going through Faye’s mind. “Do you?”
“I think she needs a nudge.”
She stops herself from grinning as the smoke rises from the engine, feels the doors locking shut deep down in her bones. She’s not supposed to enjoy it that much, Diana always told her, not when she’s doing this. She’s almost trained herself past listening to Diana’s voices in her head and all she can think is, if it feels this good now, imagine how it’ll be once everything is in its right place?
“C’mon, Cassie, put it out,” she urges under her breath, heart racing as the flames go higher without her intent. Cassie just beats on the window and Faye can see her mouth moving as she screams for help. “Put it out!”
Cassie can’t die though, she tells herself as Diana’s voice in the back of her mind tells her this wasn’t a good idea. They have a destiny. She and Diana and the rest, and Cassie can’t die. Not yet. She’s not disposable yet.
Just when she’s starting to think that fate might have different plans, the Boy Wonder sweeps in and saves his damsel in distress. He picks her up and carries here away from her untimely death and they share a long look that is clearly a precursor for sex, and finally Faye can smile again.
This is just how it’s supposed to happen.
When she leaves the grill, Diana’s already there and Faye looks away from her quickly. She already knows her hair will be shiny and perfect, she’ll smile kindly at everyone, and as much as Faye wants, she won’t spare her a second glance with her precious project waiting to be comforted.
Diana knows her well enough, too. She’ll know this isn’t an accident and Faye doesn’t want a lecture yet. This will go the same way things always do. Diana is going to take charge and cover everything up and make things just fine, her boy toy is going to listen to everything she says and Faye wonders if Adam knows how lucky he is that he’s just as necessary as Cassie. Faye glances in her rearview mirror to see them kiss just before pulling out of the parking lot. If she drives a little fast, Melissa doesn’t mention anything.
She’s sitting at the top of the stairs when Diana comes calling. Her mother glares at her for not getting the door, but Faye needs a moment to collect herself, to gather her thoughts on what to say. She settles for smiling innocently-it’s honestly the best she can come up with and maybe she hates herself for that a little too much.
Diana nods for her to come outside and she agrees with almost no reluctance. She tells herself that Diana has that affect on everyone, but as pathetic as it makes her, she doesn’t want to fight it. She shuts the door behind her and waits expectantly.
“What’d you do to Cassie’s car?” Diana doesn’t beat around the bush. It’s one of the things Faye likes most about her, likes to make her work for her straight answers, see her get riled up. Everyone needs a hobby.
“Why do you assume that I was the one that did it?”
“Did you?”
It’s hard not to take credit for this one when everything worked out almost too well, so Faye smirks.
Diana sighs. “It was stupid and reckless! You risked exposure.”
This is the same dance they always do and Faye rolls her eyes like she always does, pretends that she’s tired of Diana telling her what to do. She’s not sure that will ever be the case. “I was testing her,” she says lightly, moving to lean on the railing of the porch. “We all wanted to know, Diana, I cut to the chase.”
“You could have hurt Cassie!”
Her first instinct is to feel defensive, to bite back at how Prince Adam was there to rescue all the fair maidens, but Diana’s brown eyes are so insistent and worried and kind and those damn eyes are what messed her up from day one. She relents, posture softening. “I didn’t mean for the whole car to go up in flames. That was her. Her energy connected with mine. Everything you said about the Circle is true.” It’s the most important part and she wants Diana to understand it, to remember the thing that linked them so deeply. “With her here, we have real power now.”
“Which is why we need to be careful,” Diana says. “We can’t control it!”
And isn’t that what Diana is about in a nutshell? Control.
Faye can’t be concerned with control. She’s never in it, she’s always out of it, and she cedes it to her constantly, the one person who needs it the most and deserves it the least and uses it against her in the worst ways.
“Then we should tell her!”
“No.” She takes a deep breath. “She needs time, she just lost her mother. Look, we all agreed to take it slow.”
“No, you said to take it slow and we all nodded,” Faye says, the story of her life. “I never agreed to anything.” The sequel, prequel, and footnote to her life: Diana tells her what to do and she listens to the point where she’s changing the plot just to get her attention.
“We are doing this my way, Faye,” Diana says and Faye wants to laugh. As if they’ve ever done anything any other way.
But she has to protest, just a little bit, as she stands up. “Yeah, that ship has sailed.”
Diana’s normally gentle doe eyes are hard as she stares at her. “Do not push me, Faye. I mean it.”
Her heart flutters in her chest and giddiness fills her head as she takes a step closer, so close that they could almost be touching. It’s perhaps her first genuine smile since she realized Diana was standing outside her front door. “Do you want to try that again, ‘cause I didn’t quite buy it… Did you?”
When Diana doesn’t move, the insane part of Faye’s brain, the part that doesn’t sound even a tiny bit like Diana, wants her to move in, to do all the stuff she thinks about when she knows no one’s listening to her thoughts.
Instead, she takes a deep breath, if only slightly to calm the blood pounding everywhere in her body. “Good night, Diana.” She steps away, not lingering even if she did want Diana to call her back. It should feel satisfying to close the door behind her, to shut Diana out, but it never really does.
~*~*~*~*~
In the end, it’s a group decision, though Faye takes credit for changing everyone’s mind. Melissa and Nick don’t really care either way and Adam is, strangely enough, on her side. She relishes it as Diana relents and agrees to bring her to the house so they can explain. “She’s going to think we’re ganging up on her,” Diana protests one last time as they all start heading home.
Before Faye can say that she doesn’t care, Adam butts in, “She’ll feel more comfortable once she knows. We all were.”
All the goodness in her heart goes out. Her number one pet peeve is the Boy Wonder agreeing with her.
Scratch that. Her number one pet peeve is watching them kiss and hold hands and plan their children’s names or whatever they do. Faye knows she shouldn’t watch them, but she can’t tear her eyes from them as they say goodbye with their lips and their hands and sweet whispers. It’s torture, but it’s one more part of her that Diana controls.
Later in the day when they’re all joined and Cassie finally gets there and things finally start moving, Faye wants to dance right up until the part when Faye and Adam play Mom and Dad, talking about the rest of them like they’re children or ducklings and Cassie is part of this brand new, loving family rather than a bunch of people who deal with each other just because fate told them to.
It’s the worst and most inevitable part: as small as their school is, Diana wouldn’t be part of her world if it weren’t for the Circle. It’s one of those things that usually hits her late at night when all the other thoughts part and make way for it. Diana is intrinsically, irrevocably linked to the magic in her life and as much as she loves both, she hates it that much more.
“Oh, for god’s sake, spit it out!” she says suddenly, as much to distract herself as to get a move on. “You’re a witch. You’re a full-blooded, 100% witch. We all are.” She turns to look at Diana and Adam, casting each of them glances that are completely different, if only for a split second. “There. Done.”
Cassie looks like Faye just punched her, which isn’t totally incorrect. It had been a thought. “This is beyond crazy.”
“The truth works that way.” Faye shrugs and turns away, her work done.
She leaves the in depth explanation to the goody two shoes, only interjecting when Diana talks about her book. She knows that book almost as well as Diana does, remembers when they spent hours going over it in middle school, talking and giggling, holding hands and doing spells and dreaming about what they would some day do.
Of course, Cassie freaks like the good civilian she is, making a snide comment about burning cars that Faye doesn’t even bother to lie about. Her protestations don’t mean anything until she tries to leave and Faye moves quickly into her way. “Get out of my way,” Cassie demands and Faye grabs her before she can go too far.
“Don’t pretend you don’t believe us. Deep down you know it’s true.”
“What’s true is how crazy you are.”
Adam puts on his big boy pants for once. “Faye, take it easy.”
“She can’t just walk out of here. She’ll run to her grandmother.” Faye’s eyes dart over to Diana, knowing that this is the part that’s most important to her. The part where she might actually agree with Faye for once.
Diana gives her talk again, full of earnest ideals and girl power or whatever it is that Diana believes in this week. To be honest, it would work on Faye, but Cassie jerks away, elbowing Faye as she goes. It takes all of Faye’s power not to try and set her head on fire.
Everyone else runs after her, but Faye lingers back, entirely focused on Diana. “Nicely done, Diana,” she says, spine tingling as she walks away, knowing Diana’s eyes are following her right out the door.
After Sandra Dee rides her unicorn back to town or whatever those perfect princesses do, Adam gets them all assembled back into house to tell the story of how the pureness of their love made gravity not exist or whatever actually happened. Faye’s not sure how to feel. Part of her is elated as Diana stares down Adam, annoyance clear in every feature. The other part of her is murderous as she sees the hurt in her large brown eyes. It’s complicated, but there’s nothing she can do. There’s nothing she can ever do about this and it’s best not to dwell on it.
“You did magic with her?” Diana says, voice rising slightly.
Adam’s voice mostly just sounds like blah blah blah at this point. He has no excuse and Faye doesn’t really care.
Melissa sounds mildly confused. “You made water float?”
“How romantic,” Faye adds in quickly.
Nick laughs. “And then you just let her run away.”
“I lost control,” Adam pleads.
“Sounds like it.”
They’re back to arguing about the ritual and how much power they have now-which, duh, that’s the whole point. Adam is insistent as he says, “She’s not going to tell anybody.”
“Oh, and he would know,” Faye sighs, but her eyes are on Diana the whole time. “They made magic together.”
Diana doesn’t break her gaze and even though Faye’s heart is in her throat, she takes it as a win.
Faye grabs her bag to go. “You guys have fun. I certainly will.”
“Where are you going?” Diana demands and Faye is the worst person ever because she’s delighted that Diana actually cares. “We have to find Cassie.”
“I’m not interested in your little ritual. We have real power now, the last thing I want to do is control it. I’m not going to.” It’s that attitude that makes Diana freak out the most and Faye revels in it as the frustration mounts on Diana’s face, cheeks becoming flushed and pupils wide. Cassie or no Cassie, as Faye leaves, she feels pretty damn powerful.
~*~*~*~*~
As darkness settles over Chance Harbor, people gather on the marina to eat and dance and celebrate the end of the day. Faye’s with them on one of those: she’s going to do a bit of celebrating herself.
Walking to the end of one of the empty wooden docks, she feels settled there, surrounded by the elements. She already feels the power thrumming in her veins. “Skies above, give me a sign.”
Thunder and lightning crash above her immediately and well…what’s a better sign than that?
Her stomach twists with excitement as the suddenly thunderous clouds grow closer. “Please, sky, rain down on me.”
As the first drops of water hit her face, she grins. She can hear the faint cries of people behind her, though most of the sounds are drowned out by the claps of thunder applauding her power. She would be the one, she thought, to literally rain on their fun. “More!”
The rain pounds against her face and she urges to feel it on the rest of her, to feel it on her overheated skin. Stripping off her jacket, she lets it fall to the ground, turning her entire body up to the sky to soak in all that she’s created. She made the rain and the clouds, and nature and the elements are hers, and this is all she needs.
The only thing that could possibly make this better is if Diana was here with her. Suddenly, as if Faye had called her with all the powers she possessed, Diana was behind her, her presence like lightning crackling beneath her skin. “Faye, what are you doing?”
“It’s beautiful!” Faye cries, desperate to show her ecstasy with her.
“You can’t make it rain just because you want to!”
“Yes, we can!” Faye looks over her shoulder at Diana, as wet and beautiful as ever. “We can do anything we want!” She’s smiling so much her cheeks hurt, frozen in this spot because it’s perfect, everything around her is always as it should be.
“No, Faye,” Diana protests. “Make it stop!”
For once in her life, Faye feels completely free and uninhibited, unchained from the power Diana constantly holds over her. When she has the very power of the entire world at her tips, what is Diana? Just a girl. And that’s nothing.
She’s not sure what she realizes first, that the lightning hit the light post or that Diana’s screaming. It breaks her out of her trance, the sound of Diana’s pain like ice in her veins, water in her lungs and she can’t breathe, she’s never been this scared before.
“Diana!” she cries, feet finally able to move and she goes to her immediately. “Are you okay?” She leans down to her, touching her to make sure she’s still there, still alright. Hurting Diana is her second greatest fear and she barely holds herself back from stroking her hair, from calming her anyway Diana will let her.
“You have to stop this!” Diana pleads and as always, they’re right back where they started.
Faye nods, “Okay, I will” like it’s as simple as that, just because Diana requested it. And most times, it is. That’s just who she is. “Stop this storm.”
When nothing happens, when the power rocks back and forth inside her like a tsunami, she commands again, “Stop this storm!”
The rain continues to pound on them, the hard drops heavy as they slap into her and Diana stares at her and says, “Do it.”
“I can’t!” she says frantically, panic rising in her chest. “I…Stop this storm! Stop this storm!” She leans over Diana, trying to protect her from the brunt of the rain and she almost doesn’t see Cassie walking out across the pier.
Faye doesn’t realize what’s happening until the rain and wind calm down and her power level drops down to nothing and she feels confused and faint and worthless. And all Diana’s doing is staring at Cassie and Faye has to smile, has to be excited, has to be anything other than what she is now because she can’t cry. Not in front of them. Not now. “You did it,” she says, breathless. “You’re one of us.”
“You stopped it, Cassie,” Diana says and it’s four words that feel like death.
Cassie doesn’t react other than to say, “I don’t want any part of this.” Right now, that doesn’t matter to Faye. All that matters to Faye is that when Cassie walks away, this time, Diana’s eyes follow her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Diana and Faye part without speaking, mostly because Faye can’t think of anything to say other than “sorry” or “why is it never me that you look at that way?” and she doesn’t want to be that person. Either of those people. Right now, she doesn’t want to be anybody.
Her house is empty and she changes clothes without bothering to shower because she can’t trust herself not to drown in the bath. Every part of her feels heavy with emptiness as she lies down on her bed and doesn’t move again, even dry her hair. She doesn’t even feel powerful enough to turn on a light so she leaves them off. Even if her mother was home, she wouldn’t be coming to check on her.
She lets the darkness encompass her until she gets a text message from Diana, of all people. We need to talk about this. It’s short and to the point, just like everything Diana says and it’s her third greatest fear, actually talking to Diana about all the things she’s never wanted to say.
It gives her enough energy to get up and before she even acknowledges what she’s doing, she’s out the door and down the two blocks to the Meade house. Mr. Meade isn’t home, so she lets herself in, just like she’s done her entire life. Diana’s bathroom door is closed and she can hear the shower running, so she takes the time to look around the room that she spent so much of her childhood in.
Everything is still meticulously organized and labeled; she remembers the year Diana actually asked Santa for a label maker. After Faye teased her for a week, Diana had taken a “Diana’s” sticker and placed it on her forehead as a joke. Eight years later and it was truer than she would ever know.
More graceful than Faye would ever be, Diana is almost silent as she opens her bathroom door, clad only in her baby blue terrycloth bathrobe. She frowns at her. “I didn’t mean we had to talk right now, Faye.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” There’s a slight scratch on Diana’s cheek and without thinking, Faye reaches up to touch it lightly with her fingertips.
Diana catches her hand and squeezes it. “I’m fine, really. So you came to apologize?”
The words get caught in her throat; she’ll never be able to say sorry for everything she’s ashamed of. “I’m sorry you got in the way.”
She smiles lightly. “Close enough. It’s a good thing Cassie was there, right? I mean, it could have gotten a lot worse. This is what I mean about control, you know.”
Out of every subject in the entire world, Cassie is what she wants to talk about least. “I should go.” She’s never been great at goodbyes, so she just turns around to leave.
When Diana reaches out for her wrist, she freezes immediately. “We are going to have to talk about this, Faye.”
Diana’s so close to her space that Faye can’t help but turn towards her, addicted to the warmth of her body, the smell of her shampoo, the very intoxication of her presence. Her eyes are drawn to the thin drop of blood rolling down her cheek. “You’re bleeding.”
“It’ll be fine,” Diana says, shaking her head.
Taking a deep breath, Faye moves out of Diana’s space and into the bathroom, taking a small bandage out of the first aid box that has and always will be under Diana’s sink. “Hold still,” she says, unwrapping the band-aid and applying it gently over the scratch on her cheek. “There, that should hold you.”
If Faye wasn’t already half out of her mind, she could have sworn that Diana’s cheeks were pink and flushed. “Thank you.”
Faye’s hand lingers on Diana’s face and she’s not sure what she’s doing until she leans in to kiss her, lips brushing gently over Diana’s. She’s not sure how long it lasts. Everything in her body stops at once: no synapses firing, no heartbeats, no breaths. At this moment, there is nothing more to Faye than her lips on Diana’s.
When she finally pulls back, her entire body is on fire, as if all the power in the world is sitting right below her skin. It’s the power of the lightning and the storm multiplied until she feels like she might be ripped apart right here in this room, kissing Diana the last memory and thought to ever pass through her mind. And maybe, Faye could admit, that’s what she wants.
Diana opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the sound of a closing door downstairs. “Diana, I’m home,” Mr. Meade calls up and Faye understands the feeling of going insane, feels all of those elements coming together in half a second and everything in her mind evaporates at once.
Always in control, Diana finds her voice first. “Just got out of the shower, Dad. Be right down!” But still, she stares wordlessly at Faye and all Faye wants to do is disappear.
So she does.
Instinct controls her magic better than it does her brain or her heart, so before Faye can even manage to come up with the idea, she’s suddenly appeared in the backyard of Diana’s house. She leans against the fence, staring up at Diana’s window, at the silhouette she reflects against the sunny yellow curtains.
She feels more exhausted than she ever has before, sneaking out of the backyard and heading towards the sidewalk. Any energy left in her is drained as she sees Adam’s car sitting against the curb and she knows he’s inside with her, where Faye can never be.
And that’s Faye’s greatest fear, that Diana will continue to be Diana and Faye will always be Faye and she will mean nothing to Diana because she never has, not really. Everyone loves Diana. Why on earth would she need Faye?
So Faye uses the final reserves of her magic and simply disappears.
Characters: Faye, Diana, Cassie, Adam, Melissa, Nick
Pairing: Unrequited Faye/Diana
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Faye's POV on the Pilot. Cassie is who she needs, but the one she's always wanted is Diana.
Spoilers: For the pilot
Word Count: 4,227
Disclaimer: I do not own The Secret Circle. Title and cut text from Adele's "Set Fire To the Rain"
Beta: opheliahyde
Notes: This is mostly a character piece, but I figure it's still going to be Jossed by episode 2 so I better get it out before that airs. ;)
Dedicated to: scorpiod1 who held my hand all the way through this. <3
As far as Faye is concerned, Cassie Blake is like Christmas come early.
To say that she needs Cassie is giving the girl a little too much credit; she wouldn’t be anything special if she wasn’t…necessary. If she wasn’t required for Faye to be so much more. So Cassie coming is exactly what she wanted and Faye is ready to be her bestest friend if Cassie does what she’s told
She knows she will, too, because the Circle is fate. Their fate is to come together, to be strong and powerful and everything they’ve ever dreamed. Power is not accidental-it is given to those who want it the most, who work for it the most-just like Diana always said. And when she sees Adam flirting with the Cassie, already trapped by her Disney princess looks, it feels like another building block of fate already moving into place.
Her mother accuses her of scheming, but her mother likes to think the worst of her. Faye doesn’t scheme. Schemes aren’t necessary if you have the talent and charisma to follow through with your plans.
“Adam’s a hottie. You should make a play, you’re totally his type,” she tells Cassie, keeping her tone as level as possible. The last thing she needs to seem is overexcited.
Melissa is actually nice just to be nice and it would frustrate her if she wasn’t such a good lead in for the difficult questions and actual conversations. But Faye doesn’t want to talk about dead fathers or the Satan’s spawn that is her mother. “Adam’s cute, don’t you think?” When Cassie takes a long look at Adam, Faye lets herself feel more confident. “And he really does go for the sad, delicate types.”
Cassie storming off like an inconsiderate brat is only a problem until Faye can detour her plan. “I don’t think she knows,” Melissa says, and Faye knows she’d regret saying it if she could hear what was going through Faye’s mind. “Do you?”
“I think she needs a nudge.”
She stops herself from grinning as the smoke rises from the engine, feels the doors locking shut deep down in her bones. She’s not supposed to enjoy it that much, Diana always told her, not when she’s doing this. She’s almost trained herself past listening to Diana’s voices in her head and all she can think is, if it feels this good now, imagine how it’ll be once everything is in its right place?
“C’mon, Cassie, put it out,” she urges under her breath, heart racing as the flames go higher without her intent. Cassie just beats on the window and Faye can see her mouth moving as she screams for help. “Put it out!”
Cassie can’t die though, she tells herself as Diana’s voice in the back of her mind tells her this wasn’t a good idea. They have a destiny. She and Diana and the rest, and Cassie can’t die. Not yet. She’s not disposable yet.
Just when she’s starting to think that fate might have different plans, the Boy Wonder sweeps in and saves his damsel in distress. He picks her up and carries here away from her untimely death and they share a long look that is clearly a precursor for sex, and finally Faye can smile again.
This is just how it’s supposed to happen.
When she leaves the grill, Diana’s already there and Faye looks away from her quickly. She already knows her hair will be shiny and perfect, she’ll smile kindly at everyone, and as much as Faye wants, she won’t spare her a second glance with her precious project waiting to be comforted.
Diana knows her well enough, too. She’ll know this isn’t an accident and Faye doesn’t want a lecture yet. This will go the same way things always do. Diana is going to take charge and cover everything up and make things just fine, her boy toy is going to listen to everything she says and Faye wonders if Adam knows how lucky he is that he’s just as necessary as Cassie. Faye glances in her rearview mirror to see them kiss just before pulling out of the parking lot. If she drives a little fast, Melissa doesn’t mention anything.
She’s sitting at the top of the stairs when Diana comes calling. Her mother glares at her for not getting the door, but Faye needs a moment to collect herself, to gather her thoughts on what to say. She settles for smiling innocently-it’s honestly the best she can come up with and maybe she hates herself for that a little too much.
Diana nods for her to come outside and she agrees with almost no reluctance. She tells herself that Diana has that affect on everyone, but as pathetic as it makes her, she doesn’t want to fight it. She shuts the door behind her and waits expectantly.
“What’d you do to Cassie’s car?” Diana doesn’t beat around the bush. It’s one of the things Faye likes most about her, likes to make her work for her straight answers, see her get riled up. Everyone needs a hobby.
“Why do you assume that I was the one that did it?”
“Did you?”
It’s hard not to take credit for this one when everything worked out almost too well, so Faye smirks.
Diana sighs. “It was stupid and reckless! You risked exposure.”
This is the same dance they always do and Faye rolls her eyes like she always does, pretends that she’s tired of Diana telling her what to do. She’s not sure that will ever be the case. “I was testing her,” she says lightly, moving to lean on the railing of the porch. “We all wanted to know, Diana, I cut to the chase.”
“You could have hurt Cassie!”
Her first instinct is to feel defensive, to bite back at how Prince Adam was there to rescue all the fair maidens, but Diana’s brown eyes are so insistent and worried and kind and those damn eyes are what messed her up from day one. She relents, posture softening. “I didn’t mean for the whole car to go up in flames. That was her. Her energy connected with mine. Everything you said about the Circle is true.” It’s the most important part and she wants Diana to understand it, to remember the thing that linked them so deeply. “With her here, we have real power now.”
“Which is why we need to be careful,” Diana says. “We can’t control it!”
And isn’t that what Diana is about in a nutshell? Control.
Faye can’t be concerned with control. She’s never in it, she’s always out of it, and she cedes it to her constantly, the one person who needs it the most and deserves it the least and uses it against her in the worst ways.
“Then we should tell her!”
“No.” She takes a deep breath. “She needs time, she just lost her mother. Look, we all agreed to take it slow.”
“No, you said to take it slow and we all nodded,” Faye says, the story of her life. “I never agreed to anything.” The sequel, prequel, and footnote to her life: Diana tells her what to do and she listens to the point where she’s changing the plot just to get her attention.
“We are doing this my way, Faye,” Diana says and Faye wants to laugh. As if they’ve ever done anything any other way.
But she has to protest, just a little bit, as she stands up. “Yeah, that ship has sailed.”
Diana’s normally gentle doe eyes are hard as she stares at her. “Do not push me, Faye. I mean it.”
Her heart flutters in her chest and giddiness fills her head as she takes a step closer, so close that they could almost be touching. It’s perhaps her first genuine smile since she realized Diana was standing outside her front door. “Do you want to try that again, ‘cause I didn’t quite buy it… Did you?”
When Diana doesn’t move, the insane part of Faye’s brain, the part that doesn’t sound even a tiny bit like Diana, wants her to move in, to do all the stuff she thinks about when she knows no one’s listening to her thoughts.
Instead, she takes a deep breath, if only slightly to calm the blood pounding everywhere in her body. “Good night, Diana.” She steps away, not lingering even if she did want Diana to call her back. It should feel satisfying to close the door behind her, to shut Diana out, but it never really does.
~*~*~*~*~
In the end, it’s a group decision, though Faye takes credit for changing everyone’s mind. Melissa and Nick don’t really care either way and Adam is, strangely enough, on her side. She relishes it as Diana relents and agrees to bring her to the house so they can explain. “She’s going to think we’re ganging up on her,” Diana protests one last time as they all start heading home.
Before Faye can say that she doesn’t care, Adam butts in, “She’ll feel more comfortable once she knows. We all were.”
All the goodness in her heart goes out. Her number one pet peeve is the Boy Wonder agreeing with her.
Scratch that. Her number one pet peeve is watching them kiss and hold hands and plan their children’s names or whatever they do. Faye knows she shouldn’t watch them, but she can’t tear her eyes from them as they say goodbye with their lips and their hands and sweet whispers. It’s torture, but it’s one more part of her that Diana controls.
Later in the day when they’re all joined and Cassie finally gets there and things finally start moving, Faye wants to dance right up until the part when Faye and Adam play Mom and Dad, talking about the rest of them like they’re children or ducklings and Cassie is part of this brand new, loving family rather than a bunch of people who deal with each other just because fate told them to.
It’s the worst and most inevitable part: as small as their school is, Diana wouldn’t be part of her world if it weren’t for the Circle. It’s one of those things that usually hits her late at night when all the other thoughts part and make way for it. Diana is intrinsically, irrevocably linked to the magic in her life and as much as she loves both, she hates it that much more.
“Oh, for god’s sake, spit it out!” she says suddenly, as much to distract herself as to get a move on. “You’re a witch. You’re a full-blooded, 100% witch. We all are.” She turns to look at Diana and Adam, casting each of them glances that are completely different, if only for a split second. “There. Done.”
Cassie looks like Faye just punched her, which isn’t totally incorrect. It had been a thought. “This is beyond crazy.”
“The truth works that way.” Faye shrugs and turns away, her work done.
She leaves the in depth explanation to the goody two shoes, only interjecting when Diana talks about her book. She knows that book almost as well as Diana does, remembers when they spent hours going over it in middle school, talking and giggling, holding hands and doing spells and dreaming about what they would some day do.
Of course, Cassie freaks like the good civilian she is, making a snide comment about burning cars that Faye doesn’t even bother to lie about. Her protestations don’t mean anything until she tries to leave and Faye moves quickly into her way. “Get out of my way,” Cassie demands and Faye grabs her before she can go too far.
“Don’t pretend you don’t believe us. Deep down you know it’s true.”
“What’s true is how crazy you are.”
Adam puts on his big boy pants for once. “Faye, take it easy.”
“She can’t just walk out of here. She’ll run to her grandmother.” Faye’s eyes dart over to Diana, knowing that this is the part that’s most important to her. The part where she might actually agree with Faye for once.
Diana gives her talk again, full of earnest ideals and girl power or whatever it is that Diana believes in this week. To be honest, it would work on Faye, but Cassie jerks away, elbowing Faye as she goes. It takes all of Faye’s power not to try and set her head on fire.
Everyone else runs after her, but Faye lingers back, entirely focused on Diana. “Nicely done, Diana,” she says, spine tingling as she walks away, knowing Diana’s eyes are following her right out the door.
After Sandra Dee rides her unicorn back to town or whatever those perfect princesses do, Adam gets them all assembled back into house to tell the story of how the pureness of their love made gravity not exist or whatever actually happened. Faye’s not sure how to feel. Part of her is elated as Diana stares down Adam, annoyance clear in every feature. The other part of her is murderous as she sees the hurt in her large brown eyes. It’s complicated, but there’s nothing she can do. There’s nothing she can ever do about this and it’s best not to dwell on it.
“You did magic with her?” Diana says, voice rising slightly.
Adam’s voice mostly just sounds like blah blah blah at this point. He has no excuse and Faye doesn’t really care.
Melissa sounds mildly confused. “You made water float?”
“How romantic,” Faye adds in quickly.
Nick laughs. “And then you just let her run away.”
“I lost control,” Adam pleads.
“Sounds like it.”
They’re back to arguing about the ritual and how much power they have now-which, duh, that’s the whole point. Adam is insistent as he says, “She’s not going to tell anybody.”
“Oh, and he would know,” Faye sighs, but her eyes are on Diana the whole time. “They made magic together.”
Diana doesn’t break her gaze and even though Faye’s heart is in her throat, she takes it as a win.
Faye grabs her bag to go. “You guys have fun. I certainly will.”
“Where are you going?” Diana demands and Faye is the worst person ever because she’s delighted that Diana actually cares. “We have to find Cassie.”
“I’m not interested in your little ritual. We have real power now, the last thing I want to do is control it. I’m not going to.” It’s that attitude that makes Diana freak out the most and Faye revels in it as the frustration mounts on Diana’s face, cheeks becoming flushed and pupils wide. Cassie or no Cassie, as Faye leaves, she feels pretty damn powerful.
~*~*~*~*~
As darkness settles over Chance Harbor, people gather on the marina to eat and dance and celebrate the end of the day. Faye’s with them on one of those: she’s going to do a bit of celebrating herself.
Walking to the end of one of the empty wooden docks, she feels settled there, surrounded by the elements. She already feels the power thrumming in her veins. “Skies above, give me a sign.”
Thunder and lightning crash above her immediately and well…what’s a better sign than that?
Her stomach twists with excitement as the suddenly thunderous clouds grow closer. “Please, sky, rain down on me.”
As the first drops of water hit her face, she grins. She can hear the faint cries of people behind her, though most of the sounds are drowned out by the claps of thunder applauding her power. She would be the one, she thought, to literally rain on their fun. “More!”
The rain pounds against her face and she urges to feel it on the rest of her, to feel it on her overheated skin. Stripping off her jacket, she lets it fall to the ground, turning her entire body up to the sky to soak in all that she’s created. She made the rain and the clouds, and nature and the elements are hers, and this is all she needs.
The only thing that could possibly make this better is if Diana was here with her. Suddenly, as if Faye had called her with all the powers she possessed, Diana was behind her, her presence like lightning crackling beneath her skin. “Faye, what are you doing?”
“It’s beautiful!” Faye cries, desperate to show her ecstasy with her.
“You can’t make it rain just because you want to!”
“Yes, we can!” Faye looks over her shoulder at Diana, as wet and beautiful as ever. “We can do anything we want!” She’s smiling so much her cheeks hurt, frozen in this spot because it’s perfect, everything around her is always as it should be.
“No, Faye,” Diana protests. “Make it stop!”
For once in her life, Faye feels completely free and uninhibited, unchained from the power Diana constantly holds over her. When she has the very power of the entire world at her tips, what is Diana? Just a girl. And that’s nothing.
She’s not sure what she realizes first, that the lightning hit the light post or that Diana’s screaming. It breaks her out of her trance, the sound of Diana’s pain like ice in her veins, water in her lungs and she can’t breathe, she’s never been this scared before.
“Diana!” she cries, feet finally able to move and she goes to her immediately. “Are you okay?” She leans down to her, touching her to make sure she’s still there, still alright. Hurting Diana is her second greatest fear and she barely holds herself back from stroking her hair, from calming her anyway Diana will let her.
“You have to stop this!” Diana pleads and as always, they’re right back where they started.
Faye nods, “Okay, I will” like it’s as simple as that, just because Diana requested it. And most times, it is. That’s just who she is. “Stop this storm.”
When nothing happens, when the power rocks back and forth inside her like a tsunami, she commands again, “Stop this storm!”
The rain continues to pound on them, the hard drops heavy as they slap into her and Diana stares at her and says, “Do it.”
“I can’t!” she says frantically, panic rising in her chest. “I…Stop this storm! Stop this storm!” She leans over Diana, trying to protect her from the brunt of the rain and she almost doesn’t see Cassie walking out across the pier.
Faye doesn’t realize what’s happening until the rain and wind calm down and her power level drops down to nothing and she feels confused and faint and worthless. And all Diana’s doing is staring at Cassie and Faye has to smile, has to be excited, has to be anything other than what she is now because she can’t cry. Not in front of them. Not now. “You did it,” she says, breathless. “You’re one of us.”
“You stopped it, Cassie,” Diana says and it’s four words that feel like death.
Cassie doesn’t react other than to say, “I don’t want any part of this.” Right now, that doesn’t matter to Faye. All that matters to Faye is that when Cassie walks away, this time, Diana’s eyes follow her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Diana and Faye part without speaking, mostly because Faye can’t think of anything to say other than “sorry” or “why is it never me that you look at that way?” and she doesn’t want to be that person. Either of those people. Right now, she doesn’t want to be anybody.
Her house is empty and she changes clothes without bothering to shower because she can’t trust herself not to drown in the bath. Every part of her feels heavy with emptiness as she lies down on her bed and doesn’t move again, even dry her hair. She doesn’t even feel powerful enough to turn on a light so she leaves them off. Even if her mother was home, she wouldn’t be coming to check on her.
She lets the darkness encompass her until she gets a text message from Diana, of all people. We need to talk about this. It’s short and to the point, just like everything Diana says and it’s her third greatest fear, actually talking to Diana about all the things she’s never wanted to say.
It gives her enough energy to get up and before she even acknowledges what she’s doing, she’s out the door and down the two blocks to the Meade house. Mr. Meade isn’t home, so she lets herself in, just like she’s done her entire life. Diana’s bathroom door is closed and she can hear the shower running, so she takes the time to look around the room that she spent so much of her childhood in.
Everything is still meticulously organized and labeled; she remembers the year Diana actually asked Santa for a label maker. After Faye teased her for a week, Diana had taken a “Diana’s” sticker and placed it on her forehead as a joke. Eight years later and it was truer than she would ever know.
More graceful than Faye would ever be, Diana is almost silent as she opens her bathroom door, clad only in her baby blue terrycloth bathrobe. She frowns at her. “I didn’t mean we had to talk right now, Faye.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” There’s a slight scratch on Diana’s cheek and without thinking, Faye reaches up to touch it lightly with her fingertips.
Diana catches her hand and squeezes it. “I’m fine, really. So you came to apologize?”
The words get caught in her throat; she’ll never be able to say sorry for everything she’s ashamed of. “I’m sorry you got in the way.”
She smiles lightly. “Close enough. It’s a good thing Cassie was there, right? I mean, it could have gotten a lot worse. This is what I mean about control, you know.”
Out of every subject in the entire world, Cassie is what she wants to talk about least. “I should go.” She’s never been great at goodbyes, so she just turns around to leave.
When Diana reaches out for her wrist, she freezes immediately. “We are going to have to talk about this, Faye.”
Diana’s so close to her space that Faye can’t help but turn towards her, addicted to the warmth of her body, the smell of her shampoo, the very intoxication of her presence. Her eyes are drawn to the thin drop of blood rolling down her cheek. “You’re bleeding.”
“It’ll be fine,” Diana says, shaking her head.
Taking a deep breath, Faye moves out of Diana’s space and into the bathroom, taking a small bandage out of the first aid box that has and always will be under Diana’s sink. “Hold still,” she says, unwrapping the band-aid and applying it gently over the scratch on her cheek. “There, that should hold you.”
If Faye wasn’t already half out of her mind, she could have sworn that Diana’s cheeks were pink and flushed. “Thank you.”
Faye’s hand lingers on Diana’s face and she’s not sure what she’s doing until she leans in to kiss her, lips brushing gently over Diana’s. She’s not sure how long it lasts. Everything in her body stops at once: no synapses firing, no heartbeats, no breaths. At this moment, there is nothing more to Faye than her lips on Diana’s.
When she finally pulls back, her entire body is on fire, as if all the power in the world is sitting right below her skin. It’s the power of the lightning and the storm multiplied until she feels like she might be ripped apart right here in this room, kissing Diana the last memory and thought to ever pass through her mind. And maybe, Faye could admit, that’s what she wants.
Diana opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the sound of a closing door downstairs. “Diana, I’m home,” Mr. Meade calls up and Faye understands the feeling of going insane, feels all of those elements coming together in half a second and everything in her mind evaporates at once.
Always in control, Diana finds her voice first. “Just got out of the shower, Dad. Be right down!” But still, she stares wordlessly at Faye and all Faye wants to do is disappear.
So she does.
Instinct controls her magic better than it does her brain or her heart, so before Faye can even manage to come up with the idea, she’s suddenly appeared in the backyard of Diana’s house. She leans against the fence, staring up at Diana’s window, at the silhouette she reflects against the sunny yellow curtains.
She feels more exhausted than she ever has before, sneaking out of the backyard and heading towards the sidewalk. Any energy left in her is drained as she sees Adam’s car sitting against the curb and she knows he’s inside with her, where Faye can never be.
And that’s Faye’s greatest fear, that Diana will continue to be Diana and Faye will always be Faye and she will mean nothing to Diana because she never has, not really. Everyone loves Diana. Why on earth would she need Faye?
So Faye uses the final reserves of her magic and simply disappears.