A YAY SHOW IS BACK GIFT!
So, this is just...crack. Lots of random, random crack. madeelly and I wrote this shortly after Comic-Con when Misha and Jim were talking about...I don't even remember anymore, it was that long ago. And, well, let's be real, neither of us are big Castiel fans. So we kind of rewrote canon to where Castiel has no where to go and so he lives with Bobby and is his housewife? Yeah, I told you, crack.
And this is that crack.
ETA: Oh, right, warnings for slight wincest. Mostly implied, but...yeah, it's there. Cuz this is crack.
lavendergaia: I think I may ship Castiel/Bobby for the lulz
madeelly: LULZ
lavendergaia: Jim and Misha seem to like it, so...
madeelly: Hahaha
lavendergaia: Bobby's kind of lonely and Castiel would probably be a very dutiful wife...
madeelly: LOL IMAGINE CASTIEL DOING LIKE CHORES AND SHIT
madeelly: IN AN APRON
lavendergaia: AND HIGH HEELS
lavendergaia: WATCHING THE FOOD NETWORK TO TRY TO COOK SOMETHING NICE
madeelly: LOL I TRIED TO MAKE THE LINGUINE WITH CLAM SAUCE BUT IT GOT BURNED. SORRY.
lavendergaia: OMG, I FORGOT TO MAKE THE ROLLS! FORGIVE ME!
madeelly: I NEED ABSOLUTION
lavendergaia: LIKE DOBBY FROM HARRY POTTER, BANGING HIS HEAD ON THE STOVE
madeelly: LOLOLOL YESSS
lavendergaia: CASTIEL ONLY WANTED TO SERVE YOU, BOBBY SINGER. CASTIEL HAS FAILED!
madeelly: CASTIEL MUST PUNISH HIMS -- OOH, CUPCAKE!!
madeelly: THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE
lavendergaia: THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE!
madeelly: HE WOULD SO CHANT THAT. AND THEN BAKE CUPCAKES. WITH PINK FROSTING.
lavendergaia: EVERY DAY NEW CUPCAKES UNTIL EVEN DEAN GETS SICK OF THEM. THEN ASKS IF HE CAN MAKE PIE.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: THIS IS GETTING SO GROWING UP CULLEN
lavendergaia: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: YOU TOTALLY KNOW THAT CASTIEL WOULD TRY TO BE THE BEST HOUSEWIFE THOUGH
madeelly: ALL FIFTIES AND SHIT
lavendergaia: LIKE THE GILMORE GIRLS EPISODE WITH THE DONNA REED SHOW
madeelly: YESSS
lavendergaia: MAKING DONUTS EVERY NIGHT
lavendergaia: "OH, YOU'RE NOT LATE FOR DINNER, BOBBY, JUST EXTREMELY EARLY FOR BREAKFAST."
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND DEAN TRIES TO MAKE BOBBY CANCEL HIS SUBSCRIPTION TO TV LAND.
madeelly: HAHAHA
madeelly: BOBBY LIKES IT THOUGH. HOME COOKED MEALS
lavendergaia: A LITTLE WOMAN TO MAKE SURE HIS NEEDS ARE SATISFIED
madeelly: HAHAHA HE LIKES THE LITTLE APPETIZERS CASTIEL COOKS FOR HIM. AND NOT EVEN THOSE PRE COOKED FROZEN ONES!
lavendergaia: EXACTLY. HE EVEN BUYS LOCAL PRODUCE, LIKES TO HELP OUT THE SMALL BUSINESSES.
madeelly: GOD, HE PROBABLY HAS HIS OWN GOATS AND CHICKENS IN THE BACK YARD.
madeelly: HE'S NAMED THE CHICKENS
lavendergaia: ALL BIBLICAL NAMES OF COURSE. THIS ONE IS DANIEL...
madeelly: AND NERIAH, AND ESTHER, AND LUKE
madeelly: AND DAVID, AND ABSALOM - "OH, NO, DAVID, DON'T FIGHT WITH DEAR ABSALOM!"
lavendergaia: THIS ONE IS RUTH, SHE'S HIS FAVORITE. SOMETIMES HE TALKS TO HER AT NIGHT WHEN THE BOYS ARE OUT ON HUNTS.
madeelly: GETS OUT A COPY OF REDBOOK AND READS IT TO HER
madeelly: AND WHEN CASTIEL IS FEELING REALLY DIRTY HE BUYS COSMO. BUT THEN BURNS IT CUZ IT'S A SIN
lavendergaia: BOBBY NOW GETS GOOD HOUSEKEEPING AND MARTHA STEWART MAGAZINE IN THE MAIL. SAM AND DEAN MAKE IT A POINT NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
madeelly: HAHAHA YESS
madeelly: CASTIEL KNITS ALL OF THEIR CLOTHES
madeelly: EMBROIDERS THEIR NAMES ON THEM
lavendergaia: (12:47:04 AM): AND JOKES ABOUT HOW SAM TAKES SO MUCH MORE YARN THAN ANYONE ELSE AND DOESN'T THIS GREEN JUST BRING OUT DEAN'S EYES?
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: OH, DEAN, YOU'D LOOK SO WONDERFUL WITH THIS LITTLE KNIT CAPPY.
lavendergaia: AND DEAN WANTS TO BE LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?" BUT SAM ELBOWS HIM TO BE NICE TO THE ANGEL AND REMINDS HIM THAT THEY MAKE HIM FOOD. AND THEN THEY WONDER IF BOBBY HAD TO CHOOSE SIDES WHO WOULD HE CHOOSE AND EVEN DEAN SAYS HE'D CHOOSE THE SIDE WITH THE FOOD.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND HE ALWAYS MAKES SURE TO BUY NICE WAX AND STUFF FOR THE CAR, SO DEAN APPRECIATES IT EVEN THOUGH IT CREEPS HIM THE FUCK OUT.
madeelly: "OH, DEAN, I PICKED OUT THIS WONDERFUL PACKAGE OF TIGHTY WHITIES THAT WERE HALF OFF AT WAL MART"
madeelly: "I KNEW YOU WERE RUNNING OUT OF UNDERWEAR"
lavendergaia: AND WHEN SAM GOES TO THE BOOKSTORE TO LOOK UP STUFF, HE BUYS A BOOK ON HOW TO MAKE PIES AND GIVES IT TO CASTIEL AS A GIFT. DEAN GIVES SAM A BLOW JOB IN THE BACK OF THE IMPALA AS A THANK YOU.
lavendergaia: CASTIEL WOULD SO THINK WALMART IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.
lavendergaia: "EVERYTHING IS IN ONE PLACE, BOBBY! EVERYTHING! EVEN BIBLES!"
lavendergaia: HE STOCKS UP ON THOSE TOO.
madeelly: "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY BIBLES"
lavendergaia: THE DAY BOBBY INTRODUCES HIM TO COSTCO, HE DOES THE ANGEL EQUIVALENT OF JIZZING IN HIS PANTS.
madeelly: "YOU CAN BUY IT IN BULK!"
lavendergaia: "100 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER, BOBBY! 100! THINK HOW LONG THAT WILL LAST!"
madeelly: "THEY HAVE THE SAND PAPERY KIND THAT'S GOOD FOR THE ENIVRONMENT!"
lavendergaia: "LOOK HOW BIG THESE BOTTLES OF SHAMPOO ARE! WE CAN USE THE BIG ONES TO FILL THE LITTLE ONES ON THE ROAD FOR THE BOYS! I KNEW THOSE VIEW LADIES COULD HELP ME BE A RECESSIONISTA!"
madeelly: LOLOLOL
lavendergaia: HE HAS A HABIT OF BUYING ALL THOSE LATE NIGHT INFOMERCIAL THINGS TOO. HE CRIED WHEN BILLY MAYS DIED.
madeelly: LOLOL TOTALLY
lavendergaia: HE BOUGHT THREE THINGS OF MIGHTY PUTTY THROUGH HIS TEARS.
lavendergaia: AND LOVES THAT OXYCLEAN CAN GET OUT BLOOD, GRASS STAINS, ECTOPLASM AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT MIGHT GET ON YOUR CLOTHES WHEN DIGGING UP BODIES.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: HE GETS THE REALLY SMELLY KIND OF WASHER DETERGENT. LIKE, THE PLUM FOREST MINT FAIRY KIND
lavendergaia: HAHAHAHA YES. AND THE LAVENDER VANILLA DOWNY BECAUSE IF THESE BOYS DON'T NEED CALMING AROMATHERAPY, NO ONE DOES.
madeelly: LOL YES. "I GOT A 'DO IT AT HOME' SPA KIT. CUCUMBER FACIALS! PEPPERMINT FOOT CREAM!"
lavendergaia: AND HE TRIES TO MAKE DEAN TAKE BATHS. WITH CANDLES. AND BUBBLES. HE KIND OF LIKES THE BUBBLES, BUT HE WON'T ADMIT IT.
madeelly: HAHAHA
lavendergaia: WHENEVER "SPA DAY" COMES UP, BOBBY MYSTERIOUSLY HAS TO WORK. LOTS OF CARS NEED TO BE TOWED THAT DAY. AN ENTIRE DAY'S WORTH.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: DEAN'S LIKE, "I'LL HELP!" AND BOBBY'S LIKE, "NO, NO, KEEP THE FAIRY...I MEAN, ANGEL COMPANY! CYA." AND SAM ALWAYS TRIES TO HUMOR CASTIEL AND DEAN JUST WANTS TO GO SHOOT SOMETHING.
madeelly: HAHAHA YEP
lavendergaia: “IF HE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT PEDICURES, I FUCKING SWEAR I WILL GO FIND LUCIFER MYSELF. CAN YOU MAKE TWO DEALS? I AM WILLING TO DO THAT."
madeelly: LOL YES
lavendergaia: SAM'S LIKE, "YOU SPENT 40 YEARS IN HELL, AND YOU CAN'T SURVIVE A PEDICURE?" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "HE HAS NAIL POLISH, SAM. IT'S PINK, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" AND CASTIEL'S LIKE, "IT'S CALLED HOLY PASSION! PASSION FOR THE LORD!"
madeelly: "IT SPARKLY."
lavendergaia: "IT ALSO CAME WITH A STENCIL KIT. I WAS THINKING PURPLE CROSS WITH THE SPARKLY PINK BACKGROUND, YES?"
madeelly: "OR MAYBE FLOWERS. NICE PRETTY LILIES. OH, BY THE WAY, I GOT SOME NAIL STRENGTHENER. THAT WAY YOUR NAILS CAN GROW LONG ENOUGH SO THAT YOU CAN GET A FRENCH MANICURE."
lavendergaia: "YOU BOYS ARE SO TOUGH ON YOUR HANDS! REALLY, IS IT THAT HARD TO CARRY SOME MOISTURIZER WITH YOU?" AND THEN HE SNEAKS SOME INTO THEIR DUFFELS AND THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.
madeelly: HAHA YES. THE ALL NATURAL SOY KIND.
lavendergaia: IT SMELLS OF MANGO!
lavendergaia: AND WHEN THEY TRY TO CLEAN THE WEAPONS, HE TUTS AND MAKES THEM WEAR GLOVES WITH LOTION INSIDE SO THEY CAN WORK AND SOFTEN AT THE SAME TIME.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: IN THEIR WEAPONS TRUNK IS ONE OF THOSE PED EGGS CUZ NO ONE WANTS CALLUSY FEET
lavendergaia: HAHAHA, YES!
lavendergaia: WHICH HE GOT ON SALE AT WALMART. WITH A COUPON, NO LESS.
madeelly: HAHA YES
lavendergaia: COUPONS ARE HIS NEW THING. HE MAKES BOBBY UPGRADE TO WIFI SO THAT HE CAN DOWNLOAD THEM. HE'S EVEN JOINED FORUMS AND MAILING LISTS. IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE HE'S CONTRIBUTING.
madeelly: YES
madeelly: HIS ONLINE HANDLE IS "ANGELBOY3312"
lavendergaia: FOR SOME REASON, HE ALWAYS GETS A LOT OF WEIRD IMS AND EMAILS ASKING DIRTY, SINFUL THINGS OF HIM. WHICH HE WOULDN'T DO EVEN FOR DOUBLE COUPONS.
madeelly: YES
madeelly: AND WHY WOULD HE EVER WANT TO ENLARGE THAT???
madeelly: HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND SPAM
lavendergaia: "FIVE TIMES MY NORMAL SIZE? REALLY? HOW IS THAT EVEN GODLY POSSIBLE?"
madeelly: "OH, THIS DEAR PERSON DYING OF CANCER FROM KUWAIT NEEDS MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER! HOW DREADFUL!"
lavendergaia: "BOBBY, HE SAYS HE WANTS TO MEET ME IN TOWN! THE...BACKDOOR ENTRANCE, HE SAYS, ALL NIGHT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
madeelly: CASTIEL AND THE SPAM MAIL OF DOOM
lavendergaia: LOLOL YES
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY WISHES HE KNEW MORE ABOUT COMPUTERS SO HE COULD FIX IT. DEAN ACTUALLY COULD, BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY
madeelly: HE TOTALLY GIVES CASTIEL'S EMAIL ADDRESS OUT TO SKETCHY PEOPLE ONLINE
lavendergaia: "THIS IS THE GUY TO CONTACT IF YOU WANT A GOOD TIME."
lavendergaia: AND SAM'S LIKE, "WHAT WERE YOU TALKING TO SHADY VAN GUY ABOUT?" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "JUST GETTING DIRECTIONS, MAN. NOW, LET'S SEE ABOUT SOME PIE..."
madeelly: HAHA
madeelly: CASTIEL KNOWS HOW TO MAKE LIKE TEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF PIE BUT NOT RHUBARB WHICH BOBBY SAID HE LIKED AT ONE POINT SO CASTIEL IS GOING INSANE TRYING TO MAKE THE PERFECT RHUBARB PIE
lavendergaia: AND EITHER IT BURNS OR IT'S NOT DONE ENOUGH AND HE SITS IN THE KITCHEN CRYING AFTER EVER UNSUCCESFUL ATTEMPT
madeelly: HE WATCHES PASSIONS TO CHEER HIM UP BUT ENDS UP CRYING BECAUSE BAD STUFF HAPPENS TO HIS FAVE CHARACTERS
lavendergaia: "RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
lavendergaia: ONE DAY BOBBY IS FLIPPING THROUGH HIS CHANNELS AND NOTICES THAT HE NOW HAS SATELLITE AND TIVO EXCEPT EVERYTHING ON IT IS FROM SOAPNET.
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: CASTIEL WATCHES ONE TREE HILL
madeelly: WHICH IS ON SOAP NET ALL THE TIME
lavendergaia: HE SHIPS BROOKE/LUCAS AND THINKS THEIR LOVE IS PURE EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A DIRTY WHORE.
lavendergaia: AND LOVES THAT HALEY WAITED UNTIL MARRIAGE LIKE THE GOOD GIRLS DO
madeelly: YES
madeelly: AND DEAN WATCHES IT CUZ HE THINKS BROOKE AND RACHEL ARE HOTTIES
madeelly: BUT IS ACTUALLY UPSET WHEN NATHAN CAN'T PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE
lavendergaia: AND THEN HE SEES THAT CASTIEL HAS ALL OF THE OLD EPISODES OF DAYS OF OUR LIVES AND "ACCIDENTALLY" BREAKS THE TIVO. AND THEN FEELS KIND OF BAD WHEN CASTIEL CRIES.
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YEAH AND OFFERS TO FIX IT
lavendergaia: BOBBY ENDS UP GETTING HIM ALL THE OTH SEASONS ON DVD AS AN APOLOGY. CASTIEL'S LIKE, "OMG BONUS FEATURES!"
madeelly: LOL COMMENTARIES AND BONUS FEATURES
madeelly: DELETED SCENES!
lavendergaia: IT JUST MAKES HIS WEEK.
lavendergaia: AND ONE DAY CASTIEL STARTS TALKING ABOUT IT OVER LUNCH AND THEN DEAN STARTS CHIMING IN WITH OPINIONS AND DEAN'S LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT."
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: SAM IS JUST LIKE O_O
madeelly: WUT
lavendergaia: SAM CALLS HIM DEANNA FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK
madeelly: HAHAHAHA
lavendergaia: AND HE'S LIKE, "SHUT UP, I WATCH FOR THE SPORTS" AND CASTIEL'S LIKE, "HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO TEAR UP AT THE BROTHERLY BONDING SCENES" AND THEN THE BOYS ARE LIKE, "YEAH, AWKWARD..."
lavendergaia: EVERYONE AGREES CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY IS A DOUCHE EXCEPT CASTIEL WON'T SAY THAT WORD.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: HE IS A VERY BAD BOY"
madeelly: OH GOD THAT SOUNDS KINKY
lavendergaia: THAT'S WHAT DEAN SAYS
madeelly: LOL
lavendergaia: "HE'S NAUGHTY, HUH, CAS?" "VERY NAUGHTY! HE NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED!" "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID." "WHAT? WHO SAID THAT?"
madeelly: LOLOLOLOLOL
lavendergaia: AND THEN EVERYTHING EXPLODES WHEN CASTIEL PUTS A JESUS FISH BUMPER STICKER ON THE IMPALA.
madeelly: LOL OMG
madeelly: DEAN FLIPS A SHIT
lavendergaia: "I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S NO WAY TO KILL AN ANGEL, I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW."
lavendergaia: "DEAN, LET CASTIEL BREATHE. DEAN! DEAN, HE'S TURNING BLUE, THAT CANNOT BE GOOD!"
HAAHAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND DEAN BANGS HIM AGAINST THE WALL A FEW TIMES AND THEN GOES OUTSIDE TO PEEL THE DIRT OFF OF HIS BABY WHILE CASTIEL CRIES AND SAYS HE WAS TRYING TO BLESS IT SO THAT IT WOULD PROTECT THEM.
madeelly: LOLOL AND DEAN WOULDN'T EVEN FEEL BAD
lavendergaia: DEAN IS LIKE, "IF HE COMES WITHIN TEN YARDS OF THE CAR, I'M BREAKING HIS LEGS OFF AND I AM NOT KIDDING. YOU'D BETTER BE ABLE TO FLY, ANGEL BOY!"
madeelly: HAHAHAHA
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY'S LIKE, "HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP!" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "YEAH, BECAUSE WHAT WE REALLY NEED IS AN ANGEL BEACON ON OUR CAR! MY CAR, BOBBY. MY CAR!"
madeelly: HE'S LIKE, "OH, POOR BABY"
lavendergaia: HE TRIES TO SOOTH HER AND RUBS HER DOWN WITH A NICE WAX AND PROMISES NO ICKY ANGELS EVER INSIDE HER AGAIN AND HE'S SO SORRY AND WON'T SHE FORGIVE HIM AND SAM'S LIKE, "OKAY, DEAN, THIS IS BORDERING ON SICKNESS."
madeelly: LOLOLOL YES
lavendergaia: CASTIEL MAKES PIE FOR DINNER TO MAKE IT BETTER.
madeelly: DEAN IS LIKE "YOU'D BETTER MAKE IT FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER FOR THE NEXT FIVE HUNDRED YEARS, BITCH."
lavendergaia: SAM ORDERS PIE-SCENTED AIR FRESHENERS ON THE INTERNET FOR CASTIEL TO GIVE TO DEAN AND BOBBY THANKS HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT SAM'S THE ONE WHO HAS TO PUT UP WITH PIE-SCENTED AIR FRESHENERS.
madeelly: LOLOLOL
lavendergaia: AND WHENEVER THEY TRY TO PROBE CASTIEL FOR INFORMATION ON LUCIFER, CASTIEL TRIES TO BE VERY PC AND NOT SAY ANYTHING BAD. "WELL, HE DIDN'T ALWAYS PLAY NICELY WITH THE OTHER ANGELS..."
madeelly: "AND HE REALLY NEEDED A TIME OUT"
lavendergaia: "HE DUNKED MY IN A FOUNTAIN ONCE, BUT I'M SURE IT WAS REALLY A MISTAKE..."
madeelly: "AND ANYWAY, WATER IS GOOD"
lavendergaia: "I FELT VERY REFRESHED."
lavendergaia: "IT WAS LIKE BEING BAPTIZED!"
madeelly: LOL
madeelly: <333
madeelly: THE CASTIEL SINGER SHOW
lavendergaia: WITH BOUNCY THEME MUSIC
madeelly:HE WEARS A POOFY SKIRT AND AN APRON AND A BUTTON UP SHIRT
lavendergaia: AND DOES HIS HAIR ALL NICE
madeelly: HE WISHES THAT BOBBY WOULD WEAR A SUIT MORE OFTEN, OR AT LEAST TO WORK AND DINNER
lavendergaia: "IF I MAKE THE EFFORT, WHY CAN'T YOU? HOW MANY PLAID SHIRTS DO YOU OWN?!"
madeelly: LOLOL
madeelly: "I BOUGHT YOU THIS TWELVE PACK OF STARCH WHITE SHIRTS. AND I BOUGHT BLEACH PENS IF YOU DRIBBLE ON YOUR SHIRT DURING DINNER."
lavendergaia: "THE BIG AND TALL STORE IS HAVING A SALE, BOBBY! WE SHOULD PICK UP A FEW THINGS FOR SAM WHILE WE'RE THERE, IT'S LIKE THAT BOY JUST DOESN'T STOP GROWING!"
madeelly: BOBBY: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BOYS WITH BIG FEET.
CASTIEL: OH, I KNOW, THEY HAVE BIG HANDS!
BOBBY: ...NOT WHAT I MEANT.
madeelly: DEAN IS LIKE, 'DO ALL ANGELS HAVE VAGINAS OR SOMETHING?" AND THEN FANDOM ASPLODES BECAUSE OMFG MISOGYNY!
lavendergaia: AND DEAN'S LIKE, "WELL, SAMMY DOES HAVE SOME BIG...HANDS..."
madeelly: LOL
lavendergaia: AND CASTIEL IS JUST SO PLEASED WITH HOW CLOSE THE BOYS ARE AGAIN
madeelly: LOLOL
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY TELLS HIM NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Please forgive us. ♥
And this is that crack.
ETA: Oh, right, warnings for slight wincest. Mostly implied, but...yeah, it's there. Cuz this is crack.
lavendergaia: I think I may ship Castiel/Bobby for the lulz
madeelly: LULZ
lavendergaia: Jim and Misha seem to like it, so...
madeelly: Hahaha
lavendergaia: Bobby's kind of lonely and Castiel would probably be a very dutiful wife...
madeelly: LOL IMAGINE CASTIEL DOING LIKE CHORES AND SHIT
madeelly: IN AN APRON
lavendergaia: AND HIGH HEELS
lavendergaia: WATCHING THE FOOD NETWORK TO TRY TO COOK SOMETHING NICE
madeelly: LOL I TRIED TO MAKE THE LINGUINE WITH CLAM SAUCE BUT IT GOT BURNED. SORRY.
lavendergaia: OMG, I FORGOT TO MAKE THE ROLLS! FORGIVE ME!
madeelly: I NEED ABSOLUTION
lavendergaia: LIKE DOBBY FROM HARRY POTTER, BANGING HIS HEAD ON THE STOVE
madeelly: LOLOLOL YESSS
lavendergaia: CASTIEL ONLY WANTED TO SERVE YOU, BOBBY SINGER. CASTIEL HAS FAILED!
madeelly: CASTIEL MUST PUNISH HIMS -- OOH, CUPCAKE!!
madeelly: THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE
lavendergaia: THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE!
madeelly: HE WOULD SO CHANT THAT. AND THEN BAKE CUPCAKES. WITH PINK FROSTING.
lavendergaia: EVERY DAY NEW CUPCAKES UNTIL EVEN DEAN GETS SICK OF THEM. THEN ASKS IF HE CAN MAKE PIE.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: THIS IS GETTING SO GROWING UP CULLEN
lavendergaia: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: YOU TOTALLY KNOW THAT CASTIEL WOULD TRY TO BE THE BEST HOUSEWIFE THOUGH
madeelly: ALL FIFTIES AND SHIT
lavendergaia: LIKE THE GILMORE GIRLS EPISODE WITH THE DONNA REED SHOW
madeelly: YESSS
lavendergaia: MAKING DONUTS EVERY NIGHT
lavendergaia: "OH, YOU'RE NOT LATE FOR DINNER, BOBBY, JUST EXTREMELY EARLY FOR BREAKFAST."
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND DEAN TRIES TO MAKE BOBBY CANCEL HIS SUBSCRIPTION TO TV LAND.
madeelly: HAHAHA
madeelly: BOBBY LIKES IT THOUGH. HOME COOKED MEALS
lavendergaia: A LITTLE WOMAN TO MAKE SURE HIS NEEDS ARE SATISFIED
madeelly: HAHAHA HE LIKES THE LITTLE APPETIZERS CASTIEL COOKS FOR HIM. AND NOT EVEN THOSE PRE COOKED FROZEN ONES!
lavendergaia: EXACTLY. HE EVEN BUYS LOCAL PRODUCE, LIKES TO HELP OUT THE SMALL BUSINESSES.
madeelly: GOD, HE PROBABLY HAS HIS OWN GOATS AND CHICKENS IN THE BACK YARD.
madeelly: HE'S NAMED THE CHICKENS
lavendergaia: ALL BIBLICAL NAMES OF COURSE. THIS ONE IS DANIEL...
madeelly: AND NERIAH, AND ESTHER, AND LUKE
madeelly: AND DAVID, AND ABSALOM - "OH, NO, DAVID, DON'T FIGHT WITH DEAR ABSALOM!"
lavendergaia: THIS ONE IS RUTH, SHE'S HIS FAVORITE. SOMETIMES HE TALKS TO HER AT NIGHT WHEN THE BOYS ARE OUT ON HUNTS.
madeelly: GETS OUT A COPY OF REDBOOK AND READS IT TO HER
madeelly: AND WHEN CASTIEL IS FEELING REALLY DIRTY HE BUYS COSMO. BUT THEN BURNS IT CUZ IT'S A SIN
lavendergaia: BOBBY NOW GETS GOOD HOUSEKEEPING AND MARTHA STEWART MAGAZINE IN THE MAIL. SAM AND DEAN MAKE IT A POINT NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
madeelly: HAHAHA YESS
madeelly: CASTIEL KNITS ALL OF THEIR CLOTHES
madeelly: EMBROIDERS THEIR NAMES ON THEM
lavendergaia: (12:47:04 AM): AND JOKES ABOUT HOW SAM TAKES SO MUCH MORE YARN THAN ANYONE ELSE AND DOESN'T THIS GREEN JUST BRING OUT DEAN'S EYES?
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: OH, DEAN, YOU'D LOOK SO WONDERFUL WITH THIS LITTLE KNIT CAPPY.
lavendergaia: AND DEAN WANTS TO BE LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?" BUT SAM ELBOWS HIM TO BE NICE TO THE ANGEL AND REMINDS HIM THAT THEY MAKE HIM FOOD. AND THEN THEY WONDER IF BOBBY HAD TO CHOOSE SIDES WHO WOULD HE CHOOSE AND EVEN DEAN SAYS HE'D CHOOSE THE SIDE WITH THE FOOD.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND HE ALWAYS MAKES SURE TO BUY NICE WAX AND STUFF FOR THE CAR, SO DEAN APPRECIATES IT EVEN THOUGH IT CREEPS HIM THE FUCK OUT.
madeelly: "OH, DEAN, I PICKED OUT THIS WONDERFUL PACKAGE OF TIGHTY WHITIES THAT WERE HALF OFF AT WAL MART"
madeelly: "I KNEW YOU WERE RUNNING OUT OF UNDERWEAR"
lavendergaia: AND WHEN SAM GOES TO THE BOOKSTORE TO LOOK UP STUFF, HE BUYS A BOOK ON HOW TO MAKE PIES AND GIVES IT TO CASTIEL AS A GIFT. DEAN GIVES SAM A BLOW JOB IN THE BACK OF THE IMPALA AS A THANK YOU.
lavendergaia: CASTIEL WOULD SO THINK WALMART IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.
lavendergaia: "EVERYTHING IS IN ONE PLACE, BOBBY! EVERYTHING! EVEN BIBLES!"
lavendergaia: HE STOCKS UP ON THOSE TOO.
madeelly: "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY BIBLES"
lavendergaia: THE DAY BOBBY INTRODUCES HIM TO COSTCO, HE DOES THE ANGEL EQUIVALENT OF JIZZING IN HIS PANTS.
madeelly: "YOU CAN BUY IT IN BULK!"
lavendergaia: "100 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER, BOBBY! 100! THINK HOW LONG THAT WILL LAST!"
madeelly: "THEY HAVE THE SAND PAPERY KIND THAT'S GOOD FOR THE ENIVRONMENT!"
lavendergaia: "LOOK HOW BIG THESE BOTTLES OF SHAMPOO ARE! WE CAN USE THE BIG ONES TO FILL THE LITTLE ONES ON THE ROAD FOR THE BOYS! I KNEW THOSE VIEW LADIES COULD HELP ME BE A RECESSIONISTA!"
madeelly: LOLOLOL
lavendergaia: HE HAS A HABIT OF BUYING ALL THOSE LATE NIGHT INFOMERCIAL THINGS TOO. HE CRIED WHEN BILLY MAYS DIED.
madeelly: LOLOL TOTALLY
lavendergaia: HE BOUGHT THREE THINGS OF MIGHTY PUTTY THROUGH HIS TEARS.
lavendergaia: AND LOVES THAT OXYCLEAN CAN GET OUT BLOOD, GRASS STAINS, ECTOPLASM AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT MIGHT GET ON YOUR CLOTHES WHEN DIGGING UP BODIES.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: HE GETS THE REALLY SMELLY KIND OF WASHER DETERGENT. LIKE, THE PLUM FOREST MINT FAIRY KIND
lavendergaia: HAHAHAHA YES. AND THE LAVENDER VANILLA DOWNY BECAUSE IF THESE BOYS DON'T NEED CALMING AROMATHERAPY, NO ONE DOES.
madeelly: LOL YES. "I GOT A 'DO IT AT HOME' SPA KIT. CUCUMBER FACIALS! PEPPERMINT FOOT CREAM!"
lavendergaia: AND HE TRIES TO MAKE DEAN TAKE BATHS. WITH CANDLES. AND BUBBLES. HE KIND OF LIKES THE BUBBLES, BUT HE WON'T ADMIT IT.
madeelly: HAHAHA
lavendergaia: WHENEVER "SPA DAY" COMES UP, BOBBY MYSTERIOUSLY HAS TO WORK. LOTS OF CARS NEED TO BE TOWED THAT DAY. AN ENTIRE DAY'S WORTH.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: DEAN'S LIKE, "I'LL HELP!" AND BOBBY'S LIKE, "NO, NO, KEEP THE FAIRY...I MEAN, ANGEL COMPANY! CYA." AND SAM ALWAYS TRIES TO HUMOR CASTIEL AND DEAN JUST WANTS TO GO SHOOT SOMETHING.
madeelly: HAHAHA YEP
lavendergaia: “IF HE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT PEDICURES, I FUCKING SWEAR I WILL GO FIND LUCIFER MYSELF. CAN YOU MAKE TWO DEALS? I AM WILLING TO DO THAT."
madeelly: LOL YES
lavendergaia: SAM'S LIKE, "YOU SPENT 40 YEARS IN HELL, AND YOU CAN'T SURVIVE A PEDICURE?" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "HE HAS NAIL POLISH, SAM. IT'S PINK, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" AND CASTIEL'S LIKE, "IT'S CALLED HOLY PASSION! PASSION FOR THE LORD!"
madeelly: "IT SPARKLY."
lavendergaia: "IT ALSO CAME WITH A STENCIL KIT. I WAS THINKING PURPLE CROSS WITH THE SPARKLY PINK BACKGROUND, YES?"
madeelly: "OR MAYBE FLOWERS. NICE PRETTY LILIES. OH, BY THE WAY, I GOT SOME NAIL STRENGTHENER. THAT WAY YOUR NAILS CAN GROW LONG ENOUGH SO THAT YOU CAN GET A FRENCH MANICURE."
lavendergaia: "YOU BOYS ARE SO TOUGH ON YOUR HANDS! REALLY, IS IT THAT HARD TO CARRY SOME MOISTURIZER WITH YOU?" AND THEN HE SNEAKS SOME INTO THEIR DUFFELS AND THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.
madeelly: HAHA YES. THE ALL NATURAL SOY KIND.
lavendergaia: IT SMELLS OF MANGO!
lavendergaia: AND WHEN THEY TRY TO CLEAN THE WEAPONS, HE TUTS AND MAKES THEM WEAR GLOVES WITH LOTION INSIDE SO THEY CAN WORK AND SOFTEN AT THE SAME TIME.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: IN THEIR WEAPONS TRUNK IS ONE OF THOSE PED EGGS CUZ NO ONE WANTS CALLUSY FEET
lavendergaia: HAHAHA, YES!
lavendergaia: WHICH HE GOT ON SALE AT WALMART. WITH A COUPON, NO LESS.
madeelly: HAHA YES
lavendergaia: COUPONS ARE HIS NEW THING. HE MAKES BOBBY UPGRADE TO WIFI SO THAT HE CAN DOWNLOAD THEM. HE'S EVEN JOINED FORUMS AND MAILING LISTS. IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE HE'S CONTRIBUTING.
madeelly: YES
madeelly: HIS ONLINE HANDLE IS "ANGELBOY3312"
lavendergaia: FOR SOME REASON, HE ALWAYS GETS A LOT OF WEIRD IMS AND EMAILS ASKING DIRTY, SINFUL THINGS OF HIM. WHICH HE WOULDN'T DO EVEN FOR DOUBLE COUPONS.
madeelly: YES
madeelly: AND WHY WOULD HE EVER WANT TO ENLARGE THAT???
madeelly: HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND SPAM
lavendergaia: "FIVE TIMES MY NORMAL SIZE? REALLY? HOW IS THAT EVEN GODLY POSSIBLE?"
madeelly: "OH, THIS DEAR PERSON DYING OF CANCER FROM KUWAIT NEEDS MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER! HOW DREADFUL!"
lavendergaia: "BOBBY, HE SAYS HE WANTS TO MEET ME IN TOWN! THE...BACKDOOR ENTRANCE, HE SAYS, ALL NIGHT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
madeelly: CASTIEL AND THE SPAM MAIL OF DOOM
lavendergaia: LOLOL YES
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY WISHES HE KNEW MORE ABOUT COMPUTERS SO HE COULD FIX IT. DEAN ACTUALLY COULD, BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY
madeelly: HE TOTALLY GIVES CASTIEL'S EMAIL ADDRESS OUT TO SKETCHY PEOPLE ONLINE
lavendergaia: "THIS IS THE GUY TO CONTACT IF YOU WANT A GOOD TIME."
lavendergaia: AND SAM'S LIKE, "WHAT WERE YOU TALKING TO SHADY VAN GUY ABOUT?" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "JUST GETTING DIRECTIONS, MAN. NOW, LET'S SEE ABOUT SOME PIE..."
madeelly: HAHA
madeelly: CASTIEL KNOWS HOW TO MAKE LIKE TEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF PIE BUT NOT RHUBARB WHICH BOBBY SAID HE LIKED AT ONE POINT SO CASTIEL IS GOING INSANE TRYING TO MAKE THE PERFECT RHUBARB PIE
lavendergaia: AND EITHER IT BURNS OR IT'S NOT DONE ENOUGH AND HE SITS IN THE KITCHEN CRYING AFTER EVER UNSUCCESFUL ATTEMPT
madeelly: HE WATCHES PASSIONS TO CHEER HIM UP BUT ENDS UP CRYING BECAUSE BAD STUFF HAPPENS TO HIS FAVE CHARACTERS
lavendergaia: "RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
lavendergaia: ONE DAY BOBBY IS FLIPPING THROUGH HIS CHANNELS AND NOTICES THAT HE NOW HAS SATELLITE AND TIVO EXCEPT EVERYTHING ON IT IS FROM SOAPNET.
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: CASTIEL WATCHES ONE TREE HILL
madeelly: WHICH IS ON SOAP NET ALL THE TIME
lavendergaia: HE SHIPS BROOKE/LUCAS AND THINKS THEIR LOVE IS PURE EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A DIRTY WHORE.
lavendergaia: AND LOVES THAT HALEY WAITED UNTIL MARRIAGE LIKE THE GOOD GIRLS DO
madeelly: YES
madeelly: AND DEAN WATCHES IT CUZ HE THINKS BROOKE AND RACHEL ARE HOTTIES
madeelly: BUT IS ACTUALLY UPSET WHEN NATHAN CAN'T PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE
lavendergaia: AND THEN HE SEES THAT CASTIEL HAS ALL OF THE OLD EPISODES OF DAYS OF OUR LIVES AND "ACCIDENTALLY" BREAKS THE TIVO. AND THEN FEELS KIND OF BAD WHEN CASTIEL CRIES.
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YEAH AND OFFERS TO FIX IT
lavendergaia: BOBBY ENDS UP GETTING HIM ALL THE OTH SEASONS ON DVD AS AN APOLOGY. CASTIEL'S LIKE, "OMG BONUS FEATURES!"
madeelly: LOL COMMENTARIES AND BONUS FEATURES
madeelly: DELETED SCENES!
lavendergaia: IT JUST MAKES HIS WEEK.
lavendergaia: AND ONE DAY CASTIEL STARTS TALKING ABOUT IT OVER LUNCH AND THEN DEAN STARTS CHIMING IN WITH OPINIONS AND DEAN'S LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT."
madeelly: HAHAHAHA YES
madeelly: SAM IS JUST LIKE O_O
madeelly: WUT
lavendergaia: SAM CALLS HIM DEANNA FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK
madeelly: HAHAHAHA
lavendergaia: AND HE'S LIKE, "SHUT UP, I WATCH FOR THE SPORTS" AND CASTIEL'S LIKE, "HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO TEAR UP AT THE BROTHERLY BONDING SCENES" AND THEN THE BOYS ARE LIKE, "YEAH, AWKWARD..."
lavendergaia: EVERYONE AGREES CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY IS A DOUCHE EXCEPT CASTIEL WON'T SAY THAT WORD.
madeelly: HAHAHA YES
madeelly: HE IS A VERY BAD BOY"
madeelly: OH GOD THAT SOUNDS KINKY
lavendergaia: THAT'S WHAT DEAN SAYS
madeelly: LOL
lavendergaia: "HE'S NAUGHTY, HUH, CAS?" "VERY NAUGHTY! HE NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED!" "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID." "WHAT? WHO SAID THAT?"
madeelly: LOLOLOLOLOL
lavendergaia: AND THEN EVERYTHING EXPLODES WHEN CASTIEL PUTS A JESUS FISH BUMPER STICKER ON THE IMPALA.
madeelly: LOL OMG
madeelly: DEAN FLIPS A SHIT
lavendergaia: "I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S NO WAY TO KILL AN ANGEL, I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW."
lavendergaia: "DEAN, LET CASTIEL BREATHE. DEAN! DEAN, HE'S TURNING BLUE, THAT CANNOT BE GOOD!"
HAAHAHAHA YES
lavendergaia: AND DEAN BANGS HIM AGAINST THE WALL A FEW TIMES AND THEN GOES OUTSIDE TO PEEL THE DIRT OFF OF HIS BABY WHILE CASTIEL CRIES AND SAYS HE WAS TRYING TO BLESS IT SO THAT IT WOULD PROTECT THEM.
madeelly: LOLOL AND DEAN WOULDN'T EVEN FEEL BAD
lavendergaia: DEAN IS LIKE, "IF HE COMES WITHIN TEN YARDS OF THE CAR, I'M BREAKING HIS LEGS OFF AND I AM NOT KIDDING. YOU'D BETTER BE ABLE TO FLY, ANGEL BOY!"
madeelly: HAHAHAHA
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY'S LIKE, "HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP!" AND DEAN'S LIKE, "YEAH, BECAUSE WHAT WE REALLY NEED IS AN ANGEL BEACON ON OUR CAR! MY CAR, BOBBY. MY CAR!"
madeelly: HE'S LIKE, "OH, POOR BABY"
lavendergaia: HE TRIES TO SOOTH HER AND RUBS HER DOWN WITH A NICE WAX AND PROMISES NO ICKY ANGELS EVER INSIDE HER AGAIN AND HE'S SO SORRY AND WON'T SHE FORGIVE HIM AND SAM'S LIKE, "OKAY, DEAN, THIS IS BORDERING ON SICKNESS."
madeelly: LOLOLOL YES
lavendergaia: CASTIEL MAKES PIE FOR DINNER TO MAKE IT BETTER.
madeelly: DEAN IS LIKE "YOU'D BETTER MAKE IT FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER FOR THE NEXT FIVE HUNDRED YEARS, BITCH."
lavendergaia: SAM ORDERS PIE-SCENTED AIR FRESHENERS ON THE INTERNET FOR CASTIEL TO GIVE TO DEAN AND BOBBY THANKS HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT SAM'S THE ONE WHO HAS TO PUT UP WITH PIE-SCENTED AIR FRESHENERS.
madeelly: LOLOLOL
lavendergaia: AND WHENEVER THEY TRY TO PROBE CASTIEL FOR INFORMATION ON LUCIFER, CASTIEL TRIES TO BE VERY PC AND NOT SAY ANYTHING BAD. "WELL, HE DIDN'T ALWAYS PLAY NICELY WITH THE OTHER ANGELS..."
madeelly: "AND HE REALLY NEEDED A TIME OUT"
lavendergaia: "HE DUNKED MY IN A FOUNTAIN ONCE, BUT I'M SURE IT WAS REALLY A MISTAKE..."
madeelly: "AND ANYWAY, WATER IS GOOD"
lavendergaia: "I FELT VERY REFRESHED."
lavendergaia: "IT WAS LIKE BEING BAPTIZED!"
madeelly: LOL
madeelly: <333
madeelly: THE CASTIEL SINGER SHOW
lavendergaia: WITH BOUNCY THEME MUSIC
madeelly:HE WEARS A POOFY SKIRT AND AN APRON AND A BUTTON UP SHIRT
lavendergaia: AND DOES HIS HAIR ALL NICE
madeelly: HE WISHES THAT BOBBY WOULD WEAR A SUIT MORE OFTEN, OR AT LEAST TO WORK AND DINNER
lavendergaia: "IF I MAKE THE EFFORT, WHY CAN'T YOU? HOW MANY PLAID SHIRTS DO YOU OWN?!"
madeelly: LOLOL
madeelly: "I BOUGHT YOU THIS TWELVE PACK OF STARCH WHITE SHIRTS. AND I BOUGHT BLEACH PENS IF YOU DRIBBLE ON YOUR SHIRT DURING DINNER."
lavendergaia: "THE BIG AND TALL STORE IS HAVING A SALE, BOBBY! WE SHOULD PICK UP A FEW THINGS FOR SAM WHILE WE'RE THERE, IT'S LIKE THAT BOY JUST DOESN'T STOP GROWING!"
madeelly: BOBBY: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BOYS WITH BIG FEET.
CASTIEL: OH, I KNOW, THEY HAVE BIG HANDS!
BOBBY: ...NOT WHAT I MEANT.
madeelly: DEAN IS LIKE, 'DO ALL ANGELS HAVE VAGINAS OR SOMETHING?" AND THEN FANDOM ASPLODES BECAUSE OMFG MISOGYNY!
lavendergaia: AND DEAN'S LIKE, "WELL, SAMMY DOES HAVE SOME BIG...HANDS..."
madeelly: LOL
lavendergaia: AND CASTIEL IS JUST SO PLEASED WITH HOW CLOSE THE BOYS ARE AGAIN
madeelly: LOLOL
lavendergaia: AND BOBBY TELLS HIM NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Please forgive us. ♥