to stay or not to stay that is the question....?
I dont know what to do anymore. Im so confused about Jarrad. I love him or like him alot? I would soend the rest of my life with him if i could. I dont agree wit the drugs and he knows that. Hes trying to wuit and he doesnt offer me any. He knows. People at work and my friends keep yelling at me to just walk away. they say its not worth it that I'm gonna get hurt. But they dont understand. They dont see us together. They dont believe me when I tell them that hes getting better. Hes trying to quit. I know hes in jail but we all make mistakes right? I know he has a record. He told me. I didnt know him then I'm not gonna judge him by it. Its not fair to hold that against him. I miss him very much. He comes home in 2 weeks. ai want to see him. Hold him. Kiss him and just be engulfed in his warm strong embrace. Is it so wrong to love him? I know he doesnt seem like hes good for me but hes trying to get better. I know we're not dting yet and I should get so attached but its different. He cares. He wrote back to me from jail he wouldnt have done that if it was any other girl..at least according to his sister and his friend. I dunno. Am i kidding ymself? Am i setting myself up for heart break? Am I just kidding myself? Giving myself hope when there isnt any? Am I really wasting my time? I dont think I am but people are starting to make me second guess myself. I want to be with him so bad but yet people are making feel wrong. What am I suppose to do? He says he misses me and that when he gets out he wants to see me and he wants me to sleepover his moms house obviously stuff is gonna happen :) *wink wink* I tihnk you all know what..hehe. oh man I love him. I really do. so why is it so wrong? Why cant people just trust me? I know that I always find the ones with probelms but most of the time I help them. God sends them to me for a reason right? I just happened to fall head of heels for him. You cant help you fall in love with. So why is everyone yelling at me telling me to just leave while hes in jail and cant do anything about it? Why wont they let me make my own decision? I dont know what to do. Im confused. I know how I feel about him and all I can do is see where things go with us. I want them to go as far as they can but Im gonna take it as it comes. I want to see where it leads...go with the flow. Is that so wrong? Cant i be happy with him even tohugh hes not perfect? i dunno i need answers. i need to see him and be held by him. somebody give me answers or jarrad. jarrad works for me. i need him...i love him......dad found out yesterday that hes in jail. it didnt go to well like i figured it would. he didny seem angry but he doesnt want me to get involved. seems like alot of ppl are against us. i dunno. i just dont know any more......