Lights Will Guide You Home, Ch. 1/?
Media: Fic
Title: Lights Will Guide You Home
Rating: PG-13, just to be safe
Spoilers (if any): none that I'm aware of. We're pretty much just in the future now.
Warnings (if any): adoption, teenage pregnancy
Word Count: 2867 (i know, right? I'm wordy...)
Summary: 13 years from now, Blaine and Kurt have made a fabulous life for themselves, but there's something missing...
Lights Will Guide You Home
Chapter 1
Kurt Hummel's eyes flew open at the sound of his alarm. He'd slept fitfully, tossing and turning in nervous anticipation, imagining all the possible scenarios that could make this day go wrong.
Today, he and Blaine would meet Abby, a 17-year-old girl who was a mere 17 weeks pregnant. And she would decide whether this … this adoption thing … was going to work for her.
It had all the potential in the world for disaster.
They'd already been through a lengthy, difficult process - Kurt had no idea it would be this hard when he and Blaine first decided that a baby was what they wanted. They'd chosen adoption fairly quickly - Blaine had initially wanted a surrogate (“So our baby will look like you,” he'd told Kurt), but Kurt countered that there were so many babies in the world who needed homes, and as neither of the men possessed the proper … equipment … to carry a baby on their own, why not help a child in need? Blaine immediately recognized the strength of this argument, and it was decided. They met with lawyers and social workers, and began the drawn-out paper trail. They'd never been so thankful to be living in New York, which was friendlier to gay couple adoptions than many other states. In New York, they were both legally able to become legal guardians for their child - second-parent adoption was an accepted practice there - but this was not so in their home state of Ohio. Even in progressive New York, though, they'd met some adversity. Never blatant - no, there were the eye rolls, the sighs, the subtle scrutiny that asked “Do you really think that two men can parent a child effectively?” Of course, there had also been enormous support - their friends were helpful, some having been through the process before, and Kurt's family was ecstatic. Burt was tickled to death at the thought of being a grandfather, and Kurt couldn't wait to see him in that role.
So they'd finished the paperwork, they'd dotted all their i's and crossed all their t's, and then came the waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
Karen, their social worker had warned them from the beginning. Adoption wasn't easy, she'd told them. It put a strain on the strongest of couples, the waiting and impatience that came hand in hand. The potential for disappointment.
But Kurt and Blaine were sure, had never been more sure of anything in their lives, and so they pressed on. Tried to be patient. Threw themselves into their work, went to Broadway shows, tried to avoid baby stores and baby websites and actively did not buy that gorgeous Serena & Lily crib they saw while shopping in the Upper West Side one day.
Kurt's mind trailed back to that crib. After today … would it be possible? Could they now dream of actually going out and purchasing something like that, drawing up plans for a nursery? Abby - would she like them? Hate them? Was she scared?
He snapped back to the present as Blaine shifted in bed, grunting something unintelligible. Kurt propped himself up on his elbow, facing the man next to him.
“Blaine, babe, it's time to get up. We've got to be there by 9:30...”
“Mmmmphhh,” came his partner's muffled reply.
“Okay, fine, I'll shower first then.” Kurt gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, pulling himself out of the bed. As he showered, his thoughts turned again to Abby. They'd never spoken, and he really had no idea what to expect from her. All he knew was that she'd gotten pregnant unexpectedly and did not want to keep her baby. He didn't know if she had family support, or if she was even sure of her decision. Karen had cautioned them - 17 weeks was very early in a pregnancy to seek adoption counsel. Abby had heard the heartbeat at an early OB appointment, she'd told them, but she probably hadn't even felt the baby move inside her yet.
But this was the best chance they'd had yet, and Kurt was going to go with it.
* * * * * * * *
Blaine blinked his eyes open as he heard the shower turn off. As he rolled over, Kurt was striding over to his closet, a towel wrapped around his waist. Blaine smiled appreciatively, thankful for his gratifying view. Kurt's skin still held the milky pink tone it had when they were in high school, but his body had changed. Over the years, he'd taken to working out more with Blaine, doing Pilates and yoga. That along with a bit of weightlifting had created tone, definition where there used to be none. Kurt's former blithe, boyish figure had been replaced by … well, a man, Blaine thought to himself smugly. His man.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said with a grin. Kurt jumped a little.
“Blaine, you startled me! I thought you were still asleep!”
“Mmm, not anymore. Hard to sleep when somebody as beautiful as you is standing right in front of me. In nothing but a towel at that.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, but was smiling. “You know you love to tap this.” He turned back to his closet, sliding the clothes back and forth in staccato motions.
Blaine's tone turned suddenly serious. “Hey, what's wrong? You look nervous, and you didn't sleep well last night.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Oh, I've just been playing every scenario that could possibly go wrong today on repeat in my head...”
“Kurt, it'll be fine.” Blaine paused. “No matter what happens today.”
Kurt sighed. “We've just been waiting so long for this. It's been-”
“I know, 11 months and 6 days since we got our official approval and finished all the documentation. I want this just as badly as you do.”
Kurt walked over to the bed, sat down, and touched his forehead to Blaine's, then kissed him. “I know you do. And there's no one on this earth who I would rather go through this particular brand of hell with. I just want the waiting to be over soon.”
“Kurt, even if she does agree to place her baby with us, Abby is only 17 weeks into the pregnancy - we've still got a while after that.”
“I know. But we'll at least be involved, and there will be an end in sight. I'm tired of so much uncertainty.”
Kurt settled into Blaine's arms, and the two men sat in silence for a few seconds. Then Blaine sighed and released his partner. “We're not going to have any chance of getting this baby if we don't get ready soon. I'm going to hop in the shower.”
Kurt looked disdainfully back at his closet. “Ugh, Blaine, before you do - help me decide what to wear?”
* * * * * * * * *
Kurt and Blaine arrived at the adoption agency with fifteen minutes to spare, looking dapper but apprehensive. They had both opted to wear suits, wanting to look responsible and mature and professional and like they were perfectly capable of caring for a child. Blaine looked like an executive in his charcoal suit and robin's egg blue tie, and even Kurt the Fashion Designer had intentionally toned down his typical fabulousness, looking merely polished (which, for him, was uncharacteristically sub-par) in a fitted navy suit with a yellow paisley tie.
Karen greeted them at the door with warm hugs. “Blaine! Kurt! You guys look fantastic - we're so happy that you're here!”
“Good morning, Karen,” Blaine smiled, hugging her back. “We're happy to be here too.”
“Alright. Well let's get down to business, then. Abby and her mother haven't arrived yet, but you can come on into the conference room and wait for them.” Karen led them back through the hallway and into a surprisingly cozy room with a round table in the center, and five comfortable-looking chairs gathered around it. Kurt and Blaine sat down, shrugging off their long peacoats and adjusting their ties nervously. Instinctively, Blaine reached for Kurt's hand.
“You two both look like you're sitting on pins and needles! Try to relax. I know I sounded hesitant on the phone last week, but I really think that this is going to go well,” Karen tried to reassure them.
Kurt took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “We just … we really want this.”
Karen smiled at him. “I know.”
And then the door opened. In strutted a tall woman, maybe in her late 30's, wearing a black business suit and stilettos, a scared-looking teenage girl trailing behind her. “Mr. Anderson? Mr. Hummel? Good morning. I'm Linda Roberts. This is my daughter, Abby.” The woman gave a firm handshake to the men, and sat down. Abby slid into the chair next to her, her baby bump barely even visible. Blaine smiled, turning to his impeccable stage presence to hide his nerves.
“Good morning Mrs. Roberts, Abby. You can call me Blaine, and this is Kurt.”
Abby looked down at her hands.
Karen spoke up. “Alright, we're here today to discuss the potential of adoption of Abby Roberts' child by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel. Abby, you have expressed a desire to make an adoption plan - is that still your wish?”
Linda spoke up first. “Yes, of course, that's why we're here.” She looked at her watch.
Karen looked at her with sharp eyes, then regarded Abby with a gentler expression. “That question was directed toward your daughter, Mrs. Roberts. Abby, how do you feel about this?”
The girl looked up. She had dark, wavy hair and green eyes that seemed as if they would normally sparkle on any day but this. Her cheekbones were high and her skin was a smooth, soft olive color. Kurt was taken aback at how beautiful she was, and realized how lovely her child would be.
Tears sprang to her emerald eyes as she said, “I feel like running away. But it's not something I can run away from. I wish it never happened to begin with.”
Her mother huffed. “And that is why we're taking care of the problem. We should have done it another way, but since you refused...” She trailed off.
Blaine cleared his throat, trying to break the awkward silence in the room. “Abby, we would be honored to be able to raise your baby. We would love him … or her … and give … the baby, I guess, we can call it for now, a good home.”
Kurt interjected. “We've been waiting for this for a long time. We want a baby. We can support a baby. We're ready...”
“...And I'm not,” Abby stated. Her voice dropped to barely above a whisper. “I just feel like such a failure.” In his peripheral vision, Kurt saw Mrs. Roberts' eyes roll.
“It's okay. It's going to be okay. You're not a failure. You made … a mistake. We all make those,” Kurt tried to reassure her.
“Okay, let's get back on track a bit. Abby, you never completely answered. Is adoption the route that you want to take?” Karen asked.
“Yes.” Her voice was still impossibly soft. “Yes,” she said, a little louder.
Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand under the table. His heart was pounding out of his chest.
“Okay then. And I'm going to ask this - obviously you're aware of this by now, but Kurt and Blaine are in a committed relationship. They have expressed the desire to both obtain legal guardianship. I just have to make sure before we go any farther - you are comfortable with a same-sex couple adopting your baby, yes?”
Another eye-roll from Linda Roberts.
Abby's voice was more relaxed than they'd heard her sound all day. “Oh. Oh, yeah. Mr. Anderson … I mean, Blaine … umm, he actually reminds me of my uncle.” She directed her gaze at the men in front of her. “I mean, I want to talk to you guys more and stuff, but you seem really nice. No, I'm fine with that part.”
A giddy smile spread across Kurt's face, and Blaine could breathe again. He felt slightly lightheaded - he didn't realize he'd been holding his breath since Abby's initial “yes.”
Karen continued. “Now, have you given any thought to what type of adoption that you would like to have? Are you aware of your options, Abby?”
“Open.”
“Closed.”
Abby's answer and her mother's came simultaneously. Mrs. Roberts looked incredulously at her daughter.
“What in heaven's name … open? You just said you wanted to run away from this. Why on earth do you want an open adoption?”
“Mom, I wish it hadn't happened. But, I mean Blaine said it, it is happening. There is a baby inside of me, and even though I know I can't raise it, it's still mine. I just … I want to know that it's okay. I want to see if it looks like me. I want to be able to tell it how sorry I am one day.”
Another sigh, another look at the watch.
“Mrs. Roberts, I'm afraid that as the birth mother, this is ultimately Abby's decision,” Karen explained.
“For what it's worth, we're fine with that,” Kurt said. He and Blaine had talked about this - they'd mutually agreed that if their baby's mother wanted to be in the picture, that was alright with them. “I mean, obviously we want to be the legal guardians, raise the baby and everything, but … if you want pictures, or updates, or whatever, that's fine. And if the baby - when he or she gets older and wants to meet you, we're okay with that too.”
“Really?” Abby looked at them, unsure.
“Really. We've talked about it, and that's what we want to do. It is still your baby,” Blaine told her.
“Oh. Oh, good,” Abby said, and she seemed to be relieved as well. In fact, the only person who looked unhappy in the room was her mother.
“Wonderful,” came Mrs. Roberts' biting retort. “Now that that's settled, I have a case I need to be working on, and you, missy, need to get back to school.”
“But... But mom... I still don't know anything about them!” Another eye roll.
“Alright, fine. Skip school. You can stay and chat with the boys here.” Her tone was even more sarcastic, and she made air quotes as she said the word “boys.” Kurt's eyebrows raised, and Blaine's expression darkened a bit. They could see tears in Abby's eyes again. “But I'm leaving. I'll be back to pick you up at 5.”
Karen's expression darkened at this. “Mrs. Roberts-”
“Actually … you know what? If it's alright with you, and you as well Karen, we can take her home,” Kurt said. He wanted to diffuse the situation before it got even more out of hand and Abby really did start crying. “Is that kosher? I mean, like, legal?”
Karen nodded slowly. “That's fine by me...”
“Fine. I'll see you when I get off then, Abby. Call your father and tell him to pick up something for dinner on his way home.” And with a final look at her watch, and one last large sigh, Mrs. Roberts turned on her heel and left the room.
Abby looked at her hands in her lap. “She's been like this ever since … well … this happened.”
Blaine scooted around the table to put a comforting hand on her arm, hoping not to overstep his bounds, but he understood. Oh, how he understood angry parents.
“She used to be so proud of me,” she said, looking up, a tear dripping down her cheek. “I used to be so good in school, I got good grades, I played violin, piano, I played soccer...” her voice dropped off.
Kurt moved around too, his hand finding its way to her shoulder, and he gave her a comforting squeeze.
After a few seconds she started again. “She's been even worse than Daddy, and he's so disappointed.”
“It's gonna be okay, you know that, right? We'll be here for you during this entire process.”
Slowly, her hand lifted to join Blaine's and Kurt's. “Thank you,” she whispered, and squeezed her eyes shut. Fighting back tears, she took a few deep breaths, then looked up at Karen.
“I know you must have tissues in here somewhere. Can I have one, please?” Karen smiled and handed her one. Abby sniffled, then willed herself to smile at the two men, already more empathetic than her own parents. “Now. Tell me about this fabulous life that my baby will be going home to.”
[Chapter 2]