Too in Love to Let it Go, Chapter 27 cont'd
* * *
"I know I've said this before, but god I feel sixteen when I'm with you," Jeff murmured, mouthing at Nick's neck playfully as he unlocked his apartment.
"Just don't start singing Katy Perry to me," Nick grinned. "Blaine would be totally appalled if you stole his thunder, even after all these years."
They stumbled through the door and Nick dragged Jeff to the couch, stealing kisses the whole way. Jeff was more than happy to be carted along, holding onto Nick's hand like it was the surest thing he knew. He thought that maybe it was.
"So, are you still wanting to pick things up where we left off?" Nick said, perching on the edge of the couch, his cheeks flushing rosy pink. "Because if I remember right, you were begging me to … um …"
Jeff tilted his head, trying to remember the nature of his babbling the night before. "You're gonna have to help me out a little."
"Do you remember what you said right before you came?"
"Umm …" Jeff narrowed his eyes, thinking back - he'd been jerking off, he vaguely remembered a little too much lube - "Oh," he gasped. "I - Nick I said I wanted your mouth - is that -"
"I - I think I'd really like to try." Nick dropped onto his knees in front of Jeff, his eyes nervous.
Jeff's heart stuttered in his chest. "You don't have to," he said, watching a real-life version of one of his teenage fantasies play out before him. Sixteen-year-old Jeff would've probably come in his pants the moment Nick's knees touched the floor. "I - if this is going to make you uncomfortable -"
"No. No, it's not, I just - I want everything with you, Jeff. But I also want to make sure I'm doing it right." He paused. "I've been practicing, but I don't know how good I am yet …"
"You've been practicing?" Jeff squeaked, both delighted and surprised. "On what?"
"Um, cucumbers?"
It was like watching roses bloom on Nick's cheeks and neck and chest as he blushed, and Jeff desperately wanted to kiss him. Strangely, the thought of Nick attempting to half-swallow a cucumber whole was one of the most romantic things anyone had ever done for him. "Cucumbers, huh?" he said impishly, stroking his fingers down Nick's cheek. "You'll have to tell me how I compare."
"Well, I hope you're less bumpy, for starters."
Jeff snorted - he couldn't help it, it just flew out of his mouth, and he leaned forward in a fit of giggles, his head falling on Nick's shoulder.
"I'm pretty sure we'd both be in for a world of hurt if my dick was as bumpy as a cucumber," he said, wrapping his arms around Nick's neck. Jeff kissed him, then, because he needed his lips on Nick's skin like it was a necessity - he'd stop breathing, the world would cease to turn on its axis if they weren't. "I'm so glad you're my best friend," he whispered.
"And I'm so glad you're mine," Nick murmured back. "It makes all this - this new stuff - so much easier." He rose up on his knees and held Jeff's face, and Jeff knew he could get lost in this, could get lost in Nick himself and never come out again. As good as their Skype sex was, and as gorgeous as Nick was when he was overcome with orgasm, and as much as Jeff loved watching him - nothing could beat proximity. Jeff wanted to drown in touches, to memorize Nick's skin over and over now that he had the chance. He traced fingers down Nick's forearms, rubbing wiry hairs the wrong way so that they stood on end, threaded his hands in dark, shaggy locks, clutched at Nick's back, feeling muscles ripple under cotton and skin.
And soon, he felt Nick's hands travel south to his belt buckle.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Jeff asked gently, cupping Nick's cheek in his hand. "I don't want to push …"
"Believe me," Nick said, his voice gravelly. "You aren't pushing." He grabbed Jeff's hand and thrust it between his legs and - oh. Oh. Maybe he wasn't pushing, after all.
Nick moved back to Jeff's pants, unbuttoning them and slipping the zipper down with ease, and -
"Fuck," Nick whispered reverently, drawing the tip of his finger down the length of Jeff's bare cock. "Is it my birthday or something? Because that's a nice surprise…"
Jeff chuckled, his breath coming in spurts and sputters under the light, tickling pressure of Nick's finger. "I almost forgot, actually - sorry -"
"Of all the things you might ever need to apologize for," Nick said, bending to press a kiss to the tip of Jeff's cock, which incited a low, rumbly moan from his chest, "going commando is not one of them."
"N-noted," Jeff managed to stammer as Nick pulled his pants low on his thighs. Ever so slowly, and how it felt like love Jeff just couldn't comprehend, Nick's lips wrapped around him and Nick's tongue flicked lightly into his slit. "Oh god …" Jeff whimpered, unable to stop himself from curling his fingers in Nick's hair. He was so hard, throbbing already, and Nick hadn't even gotten started yet. Don’t come, don't come, don't come, Jeff chanted silently, plastering his ass deep into the couch so his hips would stay still.
And then Nick's mouth started its slow descent over the shaft of his cock, and reduced Jeff to half-uttered phrases and little grunts. "Nick, do you have any idea - god, so much better than I ever - I used to masturbate to this -" he babbled, his head rolling to one side on his neck.
Nick growled around a mouth full of dick and Jeff's breath stuttered out of him. He felt the vibrations in Nick's throat spread through him until he was vibrating with it; he could almost hear his bones rattling. He was losing it, his whole body on the edge of a mind-blowing orgasm. He wasn't ready for it; he didn't want this prickling pleasure to end, and if Nick made one more move with his tongue or his mouth -
He pushed his boyfriend backwards with a frantic, "Hang on, hang on, give me a second -" and Nick slid off with a loud pop, worry etched on his face.
"Did I do something wrong?" Nick asked, a little short of breath. Jeff probably could have come just looking at him, his lips red and wet, his pupils blown. "God, did I hurt you? My teeth or something? Or - here, I'll just use my hand, let me get some lube -"
Jeff grabbed him by the shoulders before he could stand. "You're not going anywhere," he said seriously. "Jesus, your tongue -"
"So - it wasn't bad? I didn't hurt you?"
"No," Jeff moaned. "I - I was about to come, and I wasn't ready - I want it to last -" He sighed, looking down at his swollen cock, aching and dripping with precome and saliva. "I don't think it's going to last."
Nick smiled sweetly, a little shyly. It was blowing Jeff's mind - when had a blowjob ever been sweet? "Well - I hope I can make it good for you while it does."
"Nick," Jeff said, his voice quavering weirdly, "You make everything good for me."
Nick smiled again, dragged his fingertips down Jeff's hips, making him shiver. He watched in awe as Nick's beautiful red lips sunk back over him again, taking Jeff as deep as he could, wrapping his hand around the rest. He breathed through his nose and swallowed, the tight suction around Jeff's cock making him moan loudly.
"You are the most beautiful man -" Jeff whispered around the shuddering breaths filling and emptying his lungs. "God, Nick - yes, god, like that -"
Nick bobbed his head up and down slowly, and if he thought about it, maybe it wasn't the best technique Jeff had ever encountered. But it certainly wasn't the worst, and more importantly, it was Nick and he was sucking on Jeff's cock, and holy shit -
"Is this okay?" Nick asked, pulling off again.
"Yes, yes, yes," Jeff panted, "just don’t stop, please don't stop, oh my god -"
Nick, eager to please, sank back over Jeff's cock like he'd never left it, taking him even deeper this time, his hands sliding underneath Jeff's hips to grip his ass.
"Oh, god," Jeff sighed, "Oh god, oh fuck -" He felt sparks lighting in him, mainly in his cock, slipping in and out of Nick's perfect mouth, but also in his legs and arms and fingers and face. "Nick," he gasped, his impending orgasm nearly burning him, "Nick, Nick, shit -"
He fisted a hand in Nick's hair and grabbed the arm of the couch with the other as he tried not to drive his hips forward, spilling hot into Nick's mouth. Jeff groaned as Nick closed his eyes and swallowed, a bit of come slipping out and running down the corners of his mouth.
When Jeff's cock had finally stopped pulsing and he pulled out of Nick's glorious mouth, Nick was still swallowing, his eyes wide and full of lust.
"Oh my god," he said, coughing a little. "Jeff -"
Jeff collapsed face-down on the couch, panting, but Nick pulled him up for a messy, wet kiss. Jeff could taste his come in Nick's mouth, and damn if that wasn't an unexpected turn-on - it had never done anything for him before. He tipped his head to the side and licked over the planes and ridges of Nick's mouth, tasting, and Nick went limp, letting him.
With the last burst of energy he had left, Jeff tugged him toward the couch and up into his lap and - oh. Nick hadn't gone limp all over, apparently …
He was whimpering, actually, jerking forward against Jeff's thigh once he got settled, and Jeff made himself pull back from Nick's come-coated mouth long enough to look him in the eye. "Hey. What do you need, baby?"
Nick's face was desperate as he spoke. "Anything, your fingers, I -"
"Shhh," Jeff soothed, cupping Nick's face in his palm. "What do you want? You want my fingers - inside of you?"
"God, please," Nick moaned.
"Okay," Jeff murmured. "Let's go to your room." He leaned heavily on Nick as they walked down the hall, in part because he was still half-drunk and shaky from orgasm, but mostly just because he could, and because Nick was solid and warm and Jeff needed to be near him.
Nick practically vaulted onto the bed once they passed through the doorway, and Jeff managed to hoist himself up after him, crawling on all fours toward the headboard where Nick sat.
"I can't believe it, still, sometimes," Jeff whispered, tucking himself under Nick's arm, trying to slow his breathing.
"Well, you should try." Nick took Jeff's hand, brought it to his cock. "Because this is real, Jeff."
"I - I -" I love you. "You're perfect." Jeff's voice was reverent when he said it, his fingers ghosting over Nick's cock, over his balls, back and back until Nick gasped loudly.
"Oh, there, oh - god, this - why -"
Jeff's finger lightly circled Nick's hole as he leaned in and whispered, "Let me take care of you."
Nick nodded frantically, and Jeff found a bottle of lube and slicked his fingers, trying to hurry with Nick's erratic breathing loud in his ears. He scooted toward the end of the bed, kneeling in between Nick's knees, and soon he had a finger pressing inside. He smiled as Nick's muscles clenched around him, Nick's toes flexing rhythmically in the air.
"Oh god, Jeff," Nick gasped as he slid himself up and down on Jeff's finger. "God, why do I love this so much?"
"Because it's awesome," Jeff smiled, slowly fucking into him. If Nick was falling apart this much with just one finger, Jeff couldn't wait to see what the rest of the morning would bring…
"I try to do this to mys-hahhhh - myself," Nick gasped, twisting the fitted sheet he was lying on in his fingers. "But it's nothing - it's uncomfortable, and the angle's wronnnnnnnng - oh god - but you -"
"But I?"
"You make it incredible," Nick moaned, tilting his hips up. "Can you - more?"
"You want another finger?" Jeff clarified.
"Yes."
"Okay, but I'll go slow," Jeff said gently, slipping his index and middle fingers in beside each other, stilling to let Nick's muscles stretch against the intrusion.
"Oh, wow," Nick said, shifting his hips just slightly. "Oh, wow, that's - god, it's kind of tight -"
"You okay?"
"Mmm, I - it doesn't hurt, really, it - just -" he broke off, shifting his hips more so that Jeff's fingers were deeper. "Damn," Nick said, "it's - I've just never tried two -"
Nick's muscles were pulsing against the wider stretch, and Jeff gently picked Nick's left leg up off the bed, mouthing over the inside of his thigh until Nick was moaning, the ring of muscles relaxed.
"Can you move?" he begged, his head thrown back. "Can you - that place -" He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and looked at Jeff. "My prostate. I want you to - I need -"
Jeff wondered if this was what it felt like for your brain to melt out your ears. "Of course I can," he said, pressing in and searching until - there. He let his fingers graze over the little bump, making Nick shiver beneath him.
"There-there-there," Nick moaned as Jeff slid his fingers gently in and out, slipping over Nick's prostate with each motion. "Oh, god, two is better, fuck -"
"How does it feel?" Jeff was surprised to hear his voice come out deeper than normal.
"Fuck - feels incredible - ohhhh, don't stop -"
Jeff worked him open, slow and deliberate, rubbing steadily against his prostate. Nick writhed and moaned as Jeff kissed up his legs, over his stomach, stretching to swirl his tongue around Nick's nipples, sucking purple spots into his smooth, tanned skin. He paused, holding himself up over Nick's heaving chest with one elbow, and let himself stare, still twisting his fingers inside Nick. It felt like a dream, being there, being inside him. Never had he let himself hope for this, never in a hundred million years did he think he'd ever actually get it … If he'd had a free hand, he might've pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming - he couldn't count how many times he'd gotten off to this, but Nick was even more velvety against his fingers than he'd imagined, and god, his voice …
"Jeff?" Nick's voice was soft, and Jeff's name sounded so, so beautiful on his lips. Jeff hadn't ever really loved his name much before now, but now it was lovely; now it held reverence on Nick's tongue.
"Hmm?"
"I'm not losing you, am I?"
Jeff smiled. "No way," he said, kissing Nick sweetly on his lips, still red from the earlier blowjob. "I was just thinking."
"About me?"
"About you."
Nick smiled back at him. "This is incredible," he sighed. "I didn't know - I had no idea it could feel like this …"
"Tell me?" Jeff murmured, kissing down Nick's chest again.
"Like … like you're unfolding me from the inside out," Nick said. "Like you're shaking me apart … oh Jeff …"
Jeff stretched up to Nick's face and kissed him deeply, working his tongue against Nick's. He was being swallowed whole, little by little, his tongue in Nick's mouth and his fingers in Nick's ass and god, just imagine what it would feel like to replace his dick with those fingers …
His cock twitched, suddenly interested again, and as he moved to suck on Nick's neck, he felt himself growing hard. As Nick continued to sigh and moan and as Jeff's fingers kept slipping in and out of Nick's ass, perfect and silky-smooth, Jeff glanced down, surprised to see himself lengthened to his full potential. He couldn't help but think that it was a pretty impressive recovery time for a man of twenty-nine years.
"Can I have another finger now?" Nick gasped, bringing him back to earth.
"Sure, baby," Jeff said, planting another kiss on his mouth. "But it'll be a bigger stretch - breathe through it with me, okay?" He carefully added a third finger, and Nick fell apart underneath him.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Nick panted, arching his back, and Jeff stilled immediately.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt, or is it just uncomfortable? Talk to me -"
"It - fuck - so full," Nick moaned.
"It doesn't hurt?"
Nick shook his head. "No, not hurt, just … move, I think?"
Jeff very, very gently inched his fingers forward, then backward, then forward again toward the little nub that made Nick cry out with pleasure. He rubbed over it with his middle finger.
"Like that?"
Nick was shaking. "Holy shit, holy shit," he chanted, canting his hips so Jeff's fingers were fucking him. "Oh god, this is - oh god -"
"Oh my god," Jeff said, laughing softly to himself as he moved his fingers to and fro. "You really love this, don't you?"
* * *
Blaine bounced up the stairs to Nick's apartment like a child, his heart so full after his date with Kurt that he could barely stand it. They'd kissed when they left Bean Me Up, then kissed again a block down the sidewalk, and again when they had to part ways, and Blaine wanted to kiss Kurt for the rest of forever.
But Blaine stopped in his tracks halfway down the hall, because not fifteen feet away was Nick's half-open bedroom door, where he could see naked legs and a naked back.
"Don't touch yourself," he heard Jeff growl. "I want to make you come with just my fingers."
"Holy shit," Blaine breathed, ducking into the tiny hallway bathroom. Peeking out, he discovered that his hiding place offered a perfect view of the bottom half of the bed, the top half obscured by the half-closed door. He felt guilty, but was unable to tear his eyes away, instantly aroused, his body tingling awake from a very long sleep. He felt parched. It had been a long time, and friends or no, watching them was like seeing a mirage in a desert. The water was there, right in front of him, but he couldn't drink it. His mouth went dry and, subconsciously, he pressed the heel of his hand against his cock where he was growing hard inside his jeans.
"Jeff - god - there, there, ohhhh -"
Honestly, he thought as he palmed himself, it was like watching a porno - a good porno, he was a little surprised to realize, with nice sounds and nicer bodies - in his own house. Or Nick's, rather. Oh, god, it was Nick's house, and it was Nick's body and Jeff's body, which meant that he was definitely intruding, and he should definitely leave. Right now.
Except, he didn't. He stood there, unable to move, watching wide-eyed as Jeff's fingers dragged in and out of Nick's ass. His cock grew harder as their cries filled his ears, and all he could picture was Kurt, spread out naked and open beneath him, or Kurt, on top of him on all fours, or Kurt, pushing him against the shower wall.
Finally he was brought out of his fantasy world when Nick let out a long, low, guttural groan and came, thick streaks of white come spurting from his cock. Blaine let out the breath he'd been holding and darted quietly toward the door, hearing Jeff gasp out an orgasm as he went. But just as Blaine was about to slip outside, he stopped again, hearing them murmuring to each other in lazy voices.
"Thank you. Thank you, god, I feel so -"
"You're so beautiful; I love you so much - waiting for you was worth every second."
"I can't believe - it really shouldn't feel that good, you know?"
His heart throbbed harder than his dick had at their words, and Blaine carefully exited the apartment, shutting the door silently behind him as he heard them laugh behind the door. His breath came hard and heavy as he stood with his back to the door, the handle grasped in one hand as he glanced down at the bulge in his jeans.
That had just happened. That was not a hallucination. Nick and Jeff were - well, not fucking, but almost, and he'd seen it - he'd watched it - and it had turned him on. A lot. But even more than that, it had made him miss Kurt, want Kurt, with an intensity he hadn't felt in months.
He knew he should feel guilty. He'd just watched two of his best friends in a very private moment, and it had been entirely wrong of him to stay. But the aching loneliness he suddenly felt was stronger than the guilt, even stronger than the feeling of his cock, hard in his jeans. He wanted - he didn't know what he wanted, really. Part of him, the part with the testosterone and the erection and the sex drive wanted to run all the way to his house, reclaim his territory, beg Kurt to fuck him. Or vice versa.
But the rational part of him knew that was a bad idea, knew he should cool off and do - what, he wasn't sure. And then, all of a sudden, he was.
He took a deep breath and turned around, his cock already beginning to soften. With several loud knocks on the door, he opened it a crack.
"Nick?" he called into the apartment. "I'm back - I just need to grab a few things - is Jeff here yet?"
He heard giddy giggling from down the hall, then Nick's voice call out. "Yeah, yeah, hang on a second -"
Blaine stepped into the apartment, staying firmly put in the little entryway, until Nick emerged from his bedroom, a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips, his hair wild.
"Hey," Blaine said, trying to sound casual.
"Hey," Nick grinned. "You, uh, you said you're leaving again?"
Blaine couldn't help but grin back at him. "I can be gone all day if you want me to."
"I, um -" Nick looked down at the floor and started laughing, running a hand through his messy hair. "Shit, I guess it's sort of obvious, huh?"
"A little, yeah. You kind of have that look …" Blaine willed himself not to blush.
"Man, I never knew - I didn't know it could be like this."
"You love him?"
Nick laughed again. "I - yeah. Like - yeah. Wow. Yes. I love him." His voice, his eyes, were filled with wild, uninhibited joy, joy that Blaine hadn't felt in a very long time.
"Then keep him," Blaine said, forcing his voice to stay steady as he squeezed Nick's bare upper arm. "Don't fuck up like I did."
"Blaine -"
"No, no," he said, holding up a hand. "Don't feel bad. I'm fine. I - I'm great, actually. Kurt and I went on a date this morning, and it was - I'm just gonna - I'm gonna try to write some, actually. I was just coming to get this." He grabbed his laptop from the coffee table, held it up.
Nick's eyes softened. "Good," he said, gentle pride evident in his voice. "Good, I'm glad. I hope it goes well."
"Yeah. Me too." Blaine hugged the laptop to his chest. "Well - enjoy your afternoon."
"Oh, I plan to," Nick said, winking at him. "We'll talk later, yeah?"
Blaine grinned again. "Yeah. I'm happy for you, Nick," he said, patting Nick on the shoulder. "I really, really am."
His heart still felt a little funny as he turned to leave, torn between being overjoyed for his friend, who'd finally found what was in front of him all along, and being sad for himself, because what he wanted was in front of him. He just wasn't exactly sure how to get it back.