Lights Will Guide You Home, Ch. 6/?
Media: Fic
Title: Lights Will Guide You Home
Rating: R
Spoilers (if any): nada
Warnings (if any): adoption
Word Count: 4548
Summary: 13 years from now, Blaine and Kurt have made a fabulous life for themselves, but there's something missing...
Lights Will Guide You Home
Chapter 6
They got the call a month later, on a Wednesday morning. It had been a busy week - they'd decided on and met with a pediatrician, obtained a prescription for donor breastmilk and had an order on standby, and they'd put the finishing touches on the nursery just the night before. That morning, Blaine was at Starbucks, writing poetry. This was new - he'd never ventured into that particular genre before, but now that he was there, he loved it. He was working on a series of love poems to his daughter-to-be, a future gift for her once she was old enough to appreciate them. Kurt was at the design studio, sketching away at his desk, when his phone rang. It was Mrs. Roberts, telling him that they were on their way to the hospital - Abby was in labor.
Kurt immediately called Blaine, who, in his surprise upon hearing the news, spilled coffee all over his latest poem. They decided that they should try to keep working, that it would drive them crazy to just be at home with nothing to do. So Blaine continued to write, composing poem after poem about the madness of waiting, and all Kurt could sketch after that were tiny little dresses. His little girl would become the next Suri Cruise of baby fashion if he had anything to do with it. He told his supervisor that his paternity leave would be starting the next day, and on a break, he called Burt and updated him on the situation so he and Carole, and hopefully Finn, could get plane tickets for the next day.
On his way home that evening, Kurt was surprised to receive a text message from Abby.
Hey guys! They just checked me
- I'm at 6cm right now. I am so
in love with my epidural that I
think I'm gonna marry it.
He laughed, walking up the sidewalk to their condo. He saw Blaine in the distance, coming from the opposite direction, and Blaine must have spotted him as well, because he started running toward Kurt.
“Kurt! Abby's at-”
“Six centimeters, I know, she must have texted both of us.”
“Kurt, we're going to have a baby by tomorrow. Can you, I don't know, like pinch me or something?”
“Happy to oblige, dear,” Kurt said with a smile, and reached out to tweak a bit of skin on the back of his arm. “So are you dreaming?”
“Nope. That kind of hurt, actually. I guess it must be real...”
“Oh, it's definitely real. Have you looked at our bank account recently?”
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand, laughing, and they headed up the elevator to their home.
* * * * * * * *
Neither Blaine nor Kurt could sleep that night. They kept tossing and turning, rolling over, adjusting pillows, getting up for water, to pace, to check their phones for any texts they might have missed.
Finally Kurt said, “I give up. This is ridiculous. We're not going to be able to sleep. Do you want to just move to the couch and watch a movie or something?”
“Absolutely.”
They grabbed a soft blanket out of the big blanket basket they kept beside the couch, and sat down in front of Moulin Rouge. Blaine was grateful for the foresight Kurt had while furnishing their condo. He'd talked Blaine into a large modular couch from Ikea with two chaise lounges side by side on one end - perfect for cuddling, he reasoned - and he'd never been more right. Blaine's favorite thing to do at home was curl up in a blanket beside his partner and watch musicals that made Kurt's eyes shine.
They were in the middle of the Elephant Love Medley scene, in which Kurt always sang Satine's part and Blaine always sang Christian's, grinning like idiots because it was 3:30 in the morning, and it was just such a great scene, and who didn't grin like idiots when beautiful people fell in love with each other, when both their cell phones buzzed. Mrs. Roberts had texted them.
Abby is now at 10 cm and is about
to start pushing. The nurses say this
can take several hours since this is her
first baby. She and baby are both fine
right now.
“Wow. I guess we'll have a baby by morning...” Blaine said.
“It looks like it. Let's finish Moulin Rouge and maybe watch another movie just to keep us busy, and then maybe we can shower and grab breakfast somewhere, and maybe by that time they'll be ready for us to come to the hospital.”
“Sounds good.” Blaine snuggled closer to Kurt, who absentmindedly ran his fingers through his soft curls.
But by the end of the movie, they were stretched out horizontally on the couch, lapsing in and out of sleep. Kurt woke up long enough to sing along with Christian and Satine's final scene softly into Blaine's ear.
Come what may,
Come what may,
I will love you until my dying day.
Blaine opened sleepy eyes, and smiled at Kurt. “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” he whispered. He reached down and pulled the blanket more securely over both of them, and they drifted into peaceful sleep.
* * * * * * * *
Kurt stirred, squinting his eyes at the sunlight streaming through the windows into their living room.
Sunlight.
“Shit, shit, shit, Blaine, wake up!!” he cried, popping up into a sitting position. “Oh God, what time is it?”
“Mmmmphh,” came Blaine's reply. He pulled the blanket over his face to block the sun.
“Blaine. Baby. TODAY.” Kurt's answer was sharp and panicked as he fumbled around, looking for one of their cell phones.
“Oh, shit,” he said, struggling to get untangled from the blanket that he'd cocooned himself into. Kurt finally found his phone.
“Fuck. It's nine o'clock. And I've got … let's see, 3 texts from Mrs. Roberts, 2 texts from Abby, and a missed call from each of them....”
“We fail as parents already,” Blaine groaned.
“Shit. Okay. I'm going to just call Abby back and explain to her that we fell asleep...”
“Okay, I'm gonna get a shower really fast while you do that,” Blaine said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and pulling himself off the couch.
“Abby? It's Kurt...”
“Hey!” her happy voice answered him back.
“I am so sorry. We are like the worst dads ever. I can't believe we missed all your calls and your texts and everything … I am SO sorry ...”
“Kurt, don't worry about it. We figured you guys would be asleep anyway. Have you read the texts or listened to the messages?”
“No, I just saw that we'd missed them and called you back.”
“Well … she was born at 5:37 this morning. I had to push for seriously like 2 hours. Ridiculous. Anyway, she's sooo tiny, she only weighs 6 pounds and 2 ounces, and Kurt she's so, so pretty.”
“Oh Abby,” Kurt sighed, “I'm sure she's gorgeous.”
“You guys are going to love her so much. I just can't get over her. She's so cute!” Kurt beamed into the phone.
“So … how are you? Are you doing okay enough for us to come in the next hour or two?” he asked.
“I'm fine. They tell me I'm gonna be really sore, but I've got some good pain medicine right now, and I actually feel really good.”
“Excellent. Well I'm about to shower, and then I think we'll probably grab some breakfast on the way, and then we'll be there if that's okay with you.”
“Totally fine with me,” Abby answered him. “See you in a little while, Kurt.”
He hung up the phone, called Karen to let her know what was going on as she had to sit in on any visits they had with the baby until she was officially in their custody, and then called Burt to let him know the baby had been born.
“Hey grandpa,” Kurt said after he'd answered.
“Have you seen her yet??”
Kurt hadn't heard Burt sound so excited since his short stint on the McKinley football team where he'd kicked his one and only winning field goal.
“No, not yet. We're going to grab breakfast and head over to the hospital soon though. When's your flight? Was Finn able to get off of work?”
“Finn is coming. And our flight's not till three this afternoon. Listen Kurt, I want you to send us pictures as soon as you see her. And don't worry about meeting us at the airport, we're gonna call a cab and just head back to your place. I want this to be all about you and Blaine seeing your baby, cause it's gonna be the best day of your entire life. Your entire life, you hear me? I want you to enjoy this. I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, Dad. I'll send you a picture as soon as I can.”
* * * * * * * *
They felt ridiculous on the subway, carrying so much stuff. Blaine had his guitar case slung over his shoulder, and was carrying a baby carrier in his lap with a large diaper bag sitting inside it. Kurt had a large overnight back over his shoulder, and was sitting next to another rolling suitcase.
They felt even more ridiculous lugging all of it into the hospital, not wanting to stop at the hotel they would be staying in that night.
They met Karen in the lobby, and she gave them a once-over. “Moving in, are we?”
Blaine laughed. “It looks that way...” They headed up the elevator, butterflies fluttering in both men's stomachs.
Outside a door that read LDR12, Kurt paused, holding Blaine's gaze for several seconds.
“You know that in 2 years … hell, 2 months even … we're going to look back on this moment, right here, right now, and realize that this is the juncture of before and after, right? This moment, right here, is when our lives change forever.”
Blaine stepped close to him. “I know. And there isn't another person on the face of the earth who I'd rather be changing my life with than you. I love you Kurt Hummel.”
“And I love you, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt replied softly, leaning into his kiss.
“Ahem.” Karen cleared her throat, reminding them that she was there. She felt out of place, standing next to such an intimate moment. They broke apart, and Kurt took a deep breath.
“Baby girl … prepare to meet the Hummelsons.”
Blaine grinned, Kurt's nickname for them breaking any tension or nerves that might have seeped their way to the surface.
They knocked on the door, and walked in after a soft “Come in!”
Abby was sitting up in her hospital bed, gazing down at the baby. Micah was sitting on the side of the bed, stroking the baby's tiny hand, and Mrs. Roberts was perched on the chair, typing on a laptop in front of her.
“Hey guys,” Abby said, her whole face lit up. “Who wants her first?”
They stepped forward together, and with shaky hands, Blaine somewhat awkwardly took the baby from her.
“Oh my gosh,” he whispered, holding her where Kurt could see her too. They stared in awe at this tiny sleeping creature before them. Abby hadn't been exaggerating - she was a beautiful baby. She had a head full of dark hair, milky pink skin, and perfect rosebud lips. Her eyelashes were long and delicate, curling upwards on the ends. The nurses had swaddled her with her hands up by her face, one of them poking out of the blanket, resting on the side of her cheek. She sighed in Blaine's arms and stretched a bit, never opening her eyes.
“Blaine, she looks like a fairy. Our daughter is a fairy...” Kurt could just see her newborn pictures now - they'd stick wings on her back, turn her on her belly, prop her chin up on her arms...
Blaine looked up at Abby. “Abby, do you mind if we go spend some time with her alone?”
He thought he saw hesitation in her face, just for a split second, but then it was gone, and he was sure he'd just imagined it.
“Yeah, go ahead! Take all the time you want with her. I'm not going anywhere,” she said with a bright smile, holding up her IV-laden hand.
Kurt ran forward, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “Abby - thank you so much. She is gorgeous. You just sit here and rest, okay? We'll be back after a while.”
Blaine placed the itty-bitty bundle in her crib, and turned to leave with Kurt and Karen. What they did not see were the tears that took Abby by surprise as they walked out the door. Micah, unsure of what to do, awkwardly rubbed her back as she buried her face in her hands.
* * * * * * * *
Karen had called up to the Labor and Delivery floor before they arrived to inform them of the situation, and that Blaine and Kurt were coming to visit their baby, so there was an empty room waiting for them a few doors down the hall. Blaine carefully picked the baby up out of the crib and sat down on the “couch,” if you could call it that. Kurt quickly took a picture with his phone, sending it to his dad, and then sat down beside him. Karen was across the room sort of in a corner, trying to be out of the way.
“May I?” Kurt held out his hands.
“Oh, Kurt, sure! Here...” after a bit of fumbling around, they figured out how to pass the baby between them.
Kurt's phone buzzed right as he'd gotten comfortable holding the tiny little thing. Blaine fished his phone out of his pocket, and read the text that Burt had sent back.
Most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I can't wait to see her in person.
Congrats, son. Tell Blaine congrats
for me too.
Kurt held the baby in his lap, facing him. “Hi, baby girl,” he whispered to her. “I'm your Dad. And that beautiful man over there? That's Daddy.”
They'd had that conversation the month before, what the baby was going to call them. Kurt had initially said that they could both be just “Dad,” but Blaine thought that would be too confusing. Neither one of them wanted to be Papa. And then Blaine, looking down at some invisible piece of fuzz on his shirt, had mumbled that if it was alright with Kurt, of course, he'd like their daughter to call him Daddy. Kurt barely heard him, actually having to ask him to repeat it. Blaine did so, looking at Kurt, his cheeks flushing a deep red.
“Blaine, why does that embarrass you?” he'd asked, genuinely concerned.
His eyes were so expressive in that moment that Kurt didn't honestly even need an answer, but Blaine told him anyway. “I want to be the kind of parent that my dad never was to me. I have … less than positive associations with 'Dad' as a name in general … and Daddy has always sounded so much softer, so much more gentle, and I want to be that to our little girl...” his voice trailed off, getting smaller and smaller. “I never had a Daddy, and I thought that maybe it might make up for it a little bit if I could be one instead.”
Kurt's heart always broke for Blaine when he talked about his dad, but this … this was just too much. He'd wrapped his arms tightly around his partner, speaking truth into his ear.
“Blaine, our child can call you whatever you want - I don't care if it's Dad or Daddy or even Bozo for that matter, but I want you to know, you will be the best father. And I cannot wait to raise our daughter with you.” And thus it was decided: Blaine was Daddy, and Kurt, who had unusually good associations with the name, would be Dad.
“...So what are we going to call her?” Blaine asked, snapping Kurt back to reality.
“Well … let's start with our top five. Sophia. Aurora. Willow. Violet. Rosemary,” Kurt recited. They sat back and studied the sleeping baby before them.
“I think I like Violet,” Blaine said after a while.
“I like that too.” Kurt paused. “What do you think about Violet Olivia?”
Blaine ruminated over this. “Violet Oliva. That's … really pretty, actually.”
Kurt looked down at the baby. “Are you a Violet Olivia?” he cooed.
As if in reply, her eyelids slowly lifted, exposing big, beautiful eyes the color of the Caribbean sea. She gazed up at them, and though they knew that all she was probably seeing were shades of gray fuzz, it seemed as if she was looking at them, accepting them as hers. In that instant, she stole both their hearts.
“Violet Olivia,” Blaine said again softly. He looked at Kurt. “How is this our baby?” he asked, incredulous.
“No idea. Are you as terrified as I am right now?”
“Probably more,” Blaine admitted. They sat in silence for a while longer.
“If we're taking her home with us, we've got to figure out how to do more than sit and stare at her,” Kurt said. “Go get your guitar … at least singing's something we know we're good at.”
“And so modest too.”
Blaine spent a few seconds tuning the guitar, and Violet sat blinking at Kurt. He couldn't help but smile at his sweet little fairy, and he softly kissed her on her forehead.
Then Blaine played a few chords, and started to sing.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
Kurt joined in, providing a lovely harmony to Blaine's voice. Karen leaned back in her chair. She'd seen lots of things in her career as a social worker, but she'd never witnessed a newborn baby being serenaded by two dads who could sing like that.
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Blaine dropped out, letting Kurt sing the little bridge part by himself.
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
He joined back in, and they finished in unison.
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
A few chord progressions, and another familiar Disney song hit Karen's ears.
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
Blaine sang the first part, then Kurt took over.
For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
Once again, they broke into perfect harmony.
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
As Karen listened to the next verse, she was taken aback by the depth of the lyrics, and what they must mean to the men. They were singing to their new daughter, but this part of the song sounded like it had been written for them.
Why can't they understand
The way we feel?
They just don't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forevermore...
They finished the song, and Blaine put his guitar away.
“That was lovely. Your voices are lovely,” Karen spoke from the corner. They'd almost forgotten she was there.
“Oh, thanks,” Kurt said, carefully handing Violet back to Blaine. He watched as his partner kissed the baby, nuzzling her face with his.
This is my life now. This. Passing the most beautiful baby back and forth. Loving on her. Watching Blaine love on her.
He'd never been so full of unadulterated joy in his whole life. And then his thoughts were interrupted by Karen's question.
“I've never asked you this, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter, but I've always wondered - why haven't you gotten married? You don't have to answer - feel free to call me out for being completely tasteless.”
The men looked at each other.
“Honestly? It's more out of principle than anything. I know that we could go to Connecticut or Massachusetts or even Canada and get married, and that New York would recognize that. But it's ridiculous that we can't get a marriage license from the state that we live in. We don't want to have a commitment ceremony with a certificate. When we do get married, we want it to be real, and legal, and binding, and from our own state. So … I guess we're holding out,” Blaine tried to explain.
“I guess we sort of see ourselves as spouses already,” Kurt added. “The only thing that would change is the legal aspect of things. But when we do get married - and I really, truly believe it will happen, and hopefully sooner rather than later - it will be a party like you've never seen in your life.”
Karen laughed. “Oh, I have no doubt of that. I appreciate your frankness - I realize that was a highly personal question.”
Blaine smiled at her. “It's no problem. Besides, you're a social worker. Personal questions are kind of what you do.”
Violet then interrupted their conversation with a few whimpers, then a loud cry. Blaine's eyes looked panicked for a second, but he took a deep breath and stood up, placing her back in her crib. To Kurt's amazement, he checked her diaper, grabbed a new one, and ever-so-gently started to change her.
Kurt hung back, although he literally had to fight to keep himself seated. He desperately wanted to be a part of this first diaper change, but knew that Blaine needed this, needed to prove to himself that he was not his father. That he would do anything for his baby, including changing dirty diapers.
Except, then Blaine sort of freaked out.
“Kurt! There's something wrong … oh God, she's pooping tar!” The terrified look on his face and the totally confused look that Kurt shot back at him made Karen laugh out loud.
“Blaine, honey, that's called meconium. It's what her stool will look like the first several days. It's nothing to worry about at all, totally normal,” she assured him.
Kurt relaxed back against the couch, and Blaine's face softened. “God, I feel like an idiot. I read about that in those books...”
“Don't worry about it. You're doing fine. Everybody is nervous when they have their first baby,” Karen told him.
He took another deep breath, and finished changing her.
“Hand sanitizer please,” Kurt called from the couch.
“That actually wasn't so bad,” Blaine said, rubbing the wall-mounted alcohol over his hands. “She might survive us after all.”
And Violet started crying again. This time Kurt couldn't help himself, and went over to her crib.
“What's the matter, sweetie?” he cooed, picking her up. She was turning her face from side to side, trying to eat at her hands. “I think somebody's hungry...”
“Is there a bottle anywhere?” Blaine posed the question to the air, digging around in the bottom shelves of her crib. They'd decided that while they did want to use the donor breastmilk as much as possible at home, formula would have to do while they were in the hospital. He unearthed a bottle of Similac from all the clothes piled in her basin, and put a nipple on it, handing it to Kurt.
“You can do the honors,” he said.
“You're sure?”
“Positive. It's your baby just as much as mine.” So Kurt cuddled Violet close, whispering promises of a happy life full of love in her ear as she ate. Her little belly filled, and she drifted off to sleep again.
He stared down in awe at his daughter (his daughter - how weird was that?), then turned to Blaine.
“This is the best thing that's ever happened to us.”
* * * * * * * *
“No, a little to the left … Now lower … Mmmmm … right there, babe,” Blaine encouraged Kurt, who was rubbing his back while they relaxed in a warm bubble bath at the hotel that night. They'd stayed most of the day at the hospital bonding with Violet, and when they got to the hotel, they'd called Burt to make sure everyone had arrived safely, and talked to Carole and Finn as well. Then Kurt ordered champagne and strawberries from room service while Blaine drew a bath.
“I knew the expensive room was a good idea,” Kurt murmured in Blaine's ear. He plucked up a strawberry, dipped it into one of their champagne glasses, and held it to Blaine's lips. He bit into it, the red juice staining his lips, and leaned back into his partner, feeling Kurt's hands slip around his waist.
“And that is why I let you make these kinds of decisions,” he said, looking up at Kurt's face. “You know, I think I fell even more in love with you today.”
“I was about to say the same thing. Parenting is kind of a turn-on for me, apparently,” Kurt answered him.
Blaine's furry eyebrows raised in amusement. “Oh really?”
“Really. I never, ever thought a diaper change could be that sexy...”
“You ain't seen nothin' yet then, darlin' - just wait till she spits up on me for the first time. Me covered in partially-digested formula? That's gonna Rock. Your. World.”
Kurt laughed into Blaine's shoulder. “You are so hilarious. I love you. Now drink your champagne, and come make passionate love to me. This water's starting to get cold, and I need something to warm me up.”
Blaine gave him a dark, sexy look. “Your wish is my command.”
[Chapter 7]
Title: Lights Will Guide You Home
Rating: R
Spoilers (if any): nada
Warnings (if any): adoption
Word Count: 4548
Summary: 13 years from now, Blaine and Kurt have made a fabulous life for themselves, but there's something missing...
Lights Will Guide You Home
Chapter 6
They got the call a month later, on a Wednesday morning. It had been a busy week - they'd decided on and met with a pediatrician, obtained a prescription for donor breastmilk and had an order on standby, and they'd put the finishing touches on the nursery just the night before. That morning, Blaine was at Starbucks, writing poetry. This was new - he'd never ventured into that particular genre before, but now that he was there, he loved it. He was working on a series of love poems to his daughter-to-be, a future gift for her once she was old enough to appreciate them. Kurt was at the design studio, sketching away at his desk, when his phone rang. It was Mrs. Roberts, telling him that they were on their way to the hospital - Abby was in labor.
Kurt immediately called Blaine, who, in his surprise upon hearing the news, spilled coffee all over his latest poem. They decided that they should try to keep working, that it would drive them crazy to just be at home with nothing to do. So Blaine continued to write, composing poem after poem about the madness of waiting, and all Kurt could sketch after that were tiny little dresses. His little girl would become the next Suri Cruise of baby fashion if he had anything to do with it. He told his supervisor that his paternity leave would be starting the next day, and on a break, he called Burt and updated him on the situation so he and Carole, and hopefully Finn, could get plane tickets for the next day.
On his way home that evening, Kurt was surprised to receive a text message from Abby.
Hey guys! They just checked me
- I'm at 6cm right now. I am so
in love with my epidural that I
think I'm gonna marry it.
He laughed, walking up the sidewalk to their condo. He saw Blaine in the distance, coming from the opposite direction, and Blaine must have spotted him as well, because he started running toward Kurt.
“Kurt! Abby's at-”
“Six centimeters, I know, she must have texted both of us.”
“Kurt, we're going to have a baby by tomorrow. Can you, I don't know, like pinch me or something?”
“Happy to oblige, dear,” Kurt said with a smile, and reached out to tweak a bit of skin on the back of his arm. “So are you dreaming?”
“Nope. That kind of hurt, actually. I guess it must be real...”
“Oh, it's definitely real. Have you looked at our bank account recently?”
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand, laughing, and they headed up the elevator to their home.
* * * * * * * *
Neither Blaine nor Kurt could sleep that night. They kept tossing and turning, rolling over, adjusting pillows, getting up for water, to pace, to check their phones for any texts they might have missed.
Finally Kurt said, “I give up. This is ridiculous. We're not going to be able to sleep. Do you want to just move to the couch and watch a movie or something?”
“Absolutely.”
They grabbed a soft blanket out of the big blanket basket they kept beside the couch, and sat down in front of Moulin Rouge. Blaine was grateful for the foresight Kurt had while furnishing their condo. He'd talked Blaine into a large modular couch from Ikea with two chaise lounges side by side on one end - perfect for cuddling, he reasoned - and he'd never been more right. Blaine's favorite thing to do at home was curl up in a blanket beside his partner and watch musicals that made Kurt's eyes shine.
They were in the middle of the Elephant Love Medley scene, in which Kurt always sang Satine's part and Blaine always sang Christian's, grinning like idiots because it was 3:30 in the morning, and it was just such a great scene, and who didn't grin like idiots when beautiful people fell in love with each other, when both their cell phones buzzed. Mrs. Roberts had texted them.
Abby is now at 10 cm and is about
to start pushing. The nurses say this
can take several hours since this is her
first baby. She and baby are both fine
right now.
“Wow. I guess we'll have a baby by morning...” Blaine said.
“It looks like it. Let's finish Moulin Rouge and maybe watch another movie just to keep us busy, and then maybe we can shower and grab breakfast somewhere, and maybe by that time they'll be ready for us to come to the hospital.”
“Sounds good.” Blaine snuggled closer to Kurt, who absentmindedly ran his fingers through his soft curls.
But by the end of the movie, they were stretched out horizontally on the couch, lapsing in and out of sleep. Kurt woke up long enough to sing along with Christian and Satine's final scene softly into Blaine's ear.
Come what may,
Come what may,
I will love you until my dying day.
Blaine opened sleepy eyes, and smiled at Kurt. “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” he whispered. He reached down and pulled the blanket more securely over both of them, and they drifted into peaceful sleep.
* * * * * * * *
Kurt stirred, squinting his eyes at the sunlight streaming through the windows into their living room.
Sunlight.
“Shit, shit, shit, Blaine, wake up!!” he cried, popping up into a sitting position. “Oh God, what time is it?”
“Mmmmphh,” came Blaine's reply. He pulled the blanket over his face to block the sun.
“Blaine. Baby. TODAY.” Kurt's answer was sharp and panicked as he fumbled around, looking for one of their cell phones.
“Oh, shit,” he said, struggling to get untangled from the blanket that he'd cocooned himself into. Kurt finally found his phone.
“Fuck. It's nine o'clock. And I've got … let's see, 3 texts from Mrs. Roberts, 2 texts from Abby, and a missed call from each of them....”
“We fail as parents already,” Blaine groaned.
“Shit. Okay. I'm going to just call Abby back and explain to her that we fell asleep...”
“Okay, I'm gonna get a shower really fast while you do that,” Blaine said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and pulling himself off the couch.
“Abby? It's Kurt...”
“Hey!” her happy voice answered him back.
“I am so sorry. We are like the worst dads ever. I can't believe we missed all your calls and your texts and everything … I am SO sorry ...”
“Kurt, don't worry about it. We figured you guys would be asleep anyway. Have you read the texts or listened to the messages?”
“No, I just saw that we'd missed them and called you back.”
“Well … she was born at 5:37 this morning. I had to push for seriously like 2 hours. Ridiculous. Anyway, she's sooo tiny, she only weighs 6 pounds and 2 ounces, and Kurt she's so, so pretty.”
“Oh Abby,” Kurt sighed, “I'm sure she's gorgeous.”
“You guys are going to love her so much. I just can't get over her. She's so cute!” Kurt beamed into the phone.
“So … how are you? Are you doing okay enough for us to come in the next hour or two?” he asked.
“I'm fine. They tell me I'm gonna be really sore, but I've got some good pain medicine right now, and I actually feel really good.”
“Excellent. Well I'm about to shower, and then I think we'll probably grab some breakfast on the way, and then we'll be there if that's okay with you.”
“Totally fine with me,” Abby answered him. “See you in a little while, Kurt.”
He hung up the phone, called Karen to let her know what was going on as she had to sit in on any visits they had with the baby until she was officially in their custody, and then called Burt to let him know the baby had been born.
“Hey grandpa,” Kurt said after he'd answered.
“Have you seen her yet??”
Kurt hadn't heard Burt sound so excited since his short stint on the McKinley football team where he'd kicked his one and only winning field goal.
“No, not yet. We're going to grab breakfast and head over to the hospital soon though. When's your flight? Was Finn able to get off of work?”
“Finn is coming. And our flight's not till three this afternoon. Listen Kurt, I want you to send us pictures as soon as you see her. And don't worry about meeting us at the airport, we're gonna call a cab and just head back to your place. I want this to be all about you and Blaine seeing your baby, cause it's gonna be the best day of your entire life. Your entire life, you hear me? I want you to enjoy this. I love you, kid.”
“I love you too, Dad. I'll send you a picture as soon as I can.”
* * * * * * * *
They felt ridiculous on the subway, carrying so much stuff. Blaine had his guitar case slung over his shoulder, and was carrying a baby carrier in his lap with a large diaper bag sitting inside it. Kurt had a large overnight back over his shoulder, and was sitting next to another rolling suitcase.
They felt even more ridiculous lugging all of it into the hospital, not wanting to stop at the hotel they would be staying in that night.
They met Karen in the lobby, and she gave them a once-over. “Moving in, are we?”
Blaine laughed. “It looks that way...” They headed up the elevator, butterflies fluttering in both men's stomachs.
Outside a door that read LDR12, Kurt paused, holding Blaine's gaze for several seconds.
“You know that in 2 years … hell, 2 months even … we're going to look back on this moment, right here, right now, and realize that this is the juncture of before and after, right? This moment, right here, is when our lives change forever.”
Blaine stepped close to him. “I know. And there isn't another person on the face of the earth who I'd rather be changing my life with than you. I love you Kurt Hummel.”
“And I love you, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt replied softly, leaning into his kiss.
“Ahem.” Karen cleared her throat, reminding them that she was there. She felt out of place, standing next to such an intimate moment. They broke apart, and Kurt took a deep breath.
“Baby girl … prepare to meet the Hummelsons.”
Blaine grinned, Kurt's nickname for them breaking any tension or nerves that might have seeped their way to the surface.
They knocked on the door, and walked in after a soft “Come in!”
Abby was sitting up in her hospital bed, gazing down at the baby. Micah was sitting on the side of the bed, stroking the baby's tiny hand, and Mrs. Roberts was perched on the chair, typing on a laptop in front of her.
“Hey guys,” Abby said, her whole face lit up. “Who wants her first?”
They stepped forward together, and with shaky hands, Blaine somewhat awkwardly took the baby from her.
“Oh my gosh,” he whispered, holding her where Kurt could see her too. They stared in awe at this tiny sleeping creature before them. Abby hadn't been exaggerating - she was a beautiful baby. She had a head full of dark hair, milky pink skin, and perfect rosebud lips. Her eyelashes were long and delicate, curling upwards on the ends. The nurses had swaddled her with her hands up by her face, one of them poking out of the blanket, resting on the side of her cheek. She sighed in Blaine's arms and stretched a bit, never opening her eyes.
“Blaine, she looks like a fairy. Our daughter is a fairy...” Kurt could just see her newborn pictures now - they'd stick wings on her back, turn her on her belly, prop her chin up on her arms...
Blaine looked up at Abby. “Abby, do you mind if we go spend some time with her alone?”
He thought he saw hesitation in her face, just for a split second, but then it was gone, and he was sure he'd just imagined it.
“Yeah, go ahead! Take all the time you want with her. I'm not going anywhere,” she said with a bright smile, holding up her IV-laden hand.
Kurt ran forward, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “Abby - thank you so much. She is gorgeous. You just sit here and rest, okay? We'll be back after a while.”
Blaine placed the itty-bitty bundle in her crib, and turned to leave with Kurt and Karen. What they did not see were the tears that took Abby by surprise as they walked out the door. Micah, unsure of what to do, awkwardly rubbed her back as she buried her face in her hands.
* * * * * * * *
Karen had called up to the Labor and Delivery floor before they arrived to inform them of the situation, and that Blaine and Kurt were coming to visit their baby, so there was an empty room waiting for them a few doors down the hall. Blaine carefully picked the baby up out of the crib and sat down on the “couch,” if you could call it that. Kurt quickly took a picture with his phone, sending it to his dad, and then sat down beside him. Karen was across the room sort of in a corner, trying to be out of the way.
“May I?” Kurt held out his hands.
“Oh, Kurt, sure! Here...” after a bit of fumbling around, they figured out how to pass the baby between them.
Kurt's phone buzzed right as he'd gotten comfortable holding the tiny little thing. Blaine fished his phone out of his pocket, and read the text that Burt had sent back.
Most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I can't wait to see her in person.
Congrats, son. Tell Blaine congrats
for me too.
Kurt held the baby in his lap, facing him. “Hi, baby girl,” he whispered to her. “I'm your Dad. And that beautiful man over there? That's Daddy.”
They'd had that conversation the month before, what the baby was going to call them. Kurt had initially said that they could both be just “Dad,” but Blaine thought that would be too confusing. Neither one of them wanted to be Papa. And then Blaine, looking down at some invisible piece of fuzz on his shirt, had mumbled that if it was alright with Kurt, of course, he'd like their daughter to call him Daddy. Kurt barely heard him, actually having to ask him to repeat it. Blaine did so, looking at Kurt, his cheeks flushing a deep red.
“Blaine, why does that embarrass you?” he'd asked, genuinely concerned.
His eyes were so expressive in that moment that Kurt didn't honestly even need an answer, but Blaine told him anyway. “I want to be the kind of parent that my dad never was to me. I have … less than positive associations with 'Dad' as a name in general … and Daddy has always sounded so much softer, so much more gentle, and I want to be that to our little girl...” his voice trailed off, getting smaller and smaller. “I never had a Daddy, and I thought that maybe it might make up for it a little bit if I could be one instead.”
Kurt's heart always broke for Blaine when he talked about his dad, but this … this was just too much. He'd wrapped his arms tightly around his partner, speaking truth into his ear.
“Blaine, our child can call you whatever you want - I don't care if it's Dad or Daddy or even Bozo for that matter, but I want you to know, you will be the best father. And I cannot wait to raise our daughter with you.” And thus it was decided: Blaine was Daddy, and Kurt, who had unusually good associations with the name, would be Dad.
“...So what are we going to call her?” Blaine asked, snapping Kurt back to reality.
“Well … let's start with our top five. Sophia. Aurora. Willow. Violet. Rosemary,” Kurt recited. They sat back and studied the sleeping baby before them.
“I think I like Violet,” Blaine said after a while.
“I like that too.” Kurt paused. “What do you think about Violet Olivia?”
Blaine ruminated over this. “Violet Oliva. That's … really pretty, actually.”
Kurt looked down at the baby. “Are you a Violet Olivia?” he cooed.
As if in reply, her eyelids slowly lifted, exposing big, beautiful eyes the color of the Caribbean sea. She gazed up at them, and though they knew that all she was probably seeing were shades of gray fuzz, it seemed as if she was looking at them, accepting them as hers. In that instant, she stole both their hearts.
“Violet Olivia,” Blaine said again softly. He looked at Kurt. “How is this our baby?” he asked, incredulous.
“No idea. Are you as terrified as I am right now?”
“Probably more,” Blaine admitted. They sat in silence for a while longer.
“If we're taking her home with us, we've got to figure out how to do more than sit and stare at her,” Kurt said. “Go get your guitar … at least singing's something we know we're good at.”
“And so modest too.”
Blaine spent a few seconds tuning the guitar, and Violet sat blinking at Kurt. He couldn't help but smile at his sweet little fairy, and he softly kissed her on her forehead.
Then Blaine played a few chords, and started to sing.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
Kurt joined in, providing a lovely harmony to Blaine's voice. Karen leaned back in her chair. She'd seen lots of things in her career as a social worker, but she'd never witnessed a newborn baby being serenaded by two dads who could sing like that.
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Blaine dropped out, letting Kurt sing the little bridge part by himself.
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
He joined back in, and they finished in unison.
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
A few chord progressions, and another familiar Disney song hit Karen's ears.
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
Blaine sang the first part, then Kurt took over.
For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
Once again, they broke into perfect harmony.
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
As Karen listened to the next verse, she was taken aback by the depth of the lyrics, and what they must mean to the men. They were singing to their new daughter, but this part of the song sounded like it had been written for them.
Why can't they understand
The way we feel?
They just don't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forevermore...
They finished the song, and Blaine put his guitar away.
“That was lovely. Your voices are lovely,” Karen spoke from the corner. They'd almost forgotten she was there.
“Oh, thanks,” Kurt said, carefully handing Violet back to Blaine. He watched as his partner kissed the baby, nuzzling her face with his.
This is my life now. This. Passing the most beautiful baby back and forth. Loving on her. Watching Blaine love on her.
He'd never been so full of unadulterated joy in his whole life. And then his thoughts were interrupted by Karen's question.
“I've never asked you this, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter, but I've always wondered - why haven't you gotten married? You don't have to answer - feel free to call me out for being completely tasteless.”
The men looked at each other.
“Honestly? It's more out of principle than anything. I know that we could go to Connecticut or Massachusetts or even Canada and get married, and that New York would recognize that. But it's ridiculous that we can't get a marriage license from the state that we live in. We don't want to have a commitment ceremony with a certificate. When we do get married, we want it to be real, and legal, and binding, and from our own state. So … I guess we're holding out,” Blaine tried to explain.
“I guess we sort of see ourselves as spouses already,” Kurt added. “The only thing that would change is the legal aspect of things. But when we do get married - and I really, truly believe it will happen, and hopefully sooner rather than later - it will be a party like you've never seen in your life.”
Karen laughed. “Oh, I have no doubt of that. I appreciate your frankness - I realize that was a highly personal question.”
Blaine smiled at her. “It's no problem. Besides, you're a social worker. Personal questions are kind of what you do.”
Violet then interrupted their conversation with a few whimpers, then a loud cry. Blaine's eyes looked panicked for a second, but he took a deep breath and stood up, placing her back in her crib. To Kurt's amazement, he checked her diaper, grabbed a new one, and ever-so-gently started to change her.
Kurt hung back, although he literally had to fight to keep himself seated. He desperately wanted to be a part of this first diaper change, but knew that Blaine needed this, needed to prove to himself that he was not his father. That he would do anything for his baby, including changing dirty diapers.
Except, then Blaine sort of freaked out.
“Kurt! There's something wrong … oh God, she's pooping tar!” The terrified look on his face and the totally confused look that Kurt shot back at him made Karen laugh out loud.
“Blaine, honey, that's called meconium. It's what her stool will look like the first several days. It's nothing to worry about at all, totally normal,” she assured him.
Kurt relaxed back against the couch, and Blaine's face softened. “God, I feel like an idiot. I read about that in those books...”
“Don't worry about it. You're doing fine. Everybody is nervous when they have their first baby,” Karen told him.
He took another deep breath, and finished changing her.
“Hand sanitizer please,” Kurt called from the couch.
“That actually wasn't so bad,” Blaine said, rubbing the wall-mounted alcohol over his hands. “She might survive us after all.”
And Violet started crying again. This time Kurt couldn't help himself, and went over to her crib.
“What's the matter, sweetie?” he cooed, picking her up. She was turning her face from side to side, trying to eat at her hands. “I think somebody's hungry...”
“Is there a bottle anywhere?” Blaine posed the question to the air, digging around in the bottom shelves of her crib. They'd decided that while they did want to use the donor breastmilk as much as possible at home, formula would have to do while they were in the hospital. He unearthed a bottle of Similac from all the clothes piled in her basin, and put a nipple on it, handing it to Kurt.
“You can do the honors,” he said.
“You're sure?”
“Positive. It's your baby just as much as mine.” So Kurt cuddled Violet close, whispering promises of a happy life full of love in her ear as she ate. Her little belly filled, and she drifted off to sleep again.
He stared down in awe at his daughter (his daughter - how weird was that?), then turned to Blaine.
“This is the best thing that's ever happened to us.”
* * * * * * * *
“No, a little to the left … Now lower … Mmmmm … right there, babe,” Blaine encouraged Kurt, who was rubbing his back while they relaxed in a warm bubble bath at the hotel that night. They'd stayed most of the day at the hospital bonding with Violet, and when they got to the hotel, they'd called Burt to make sure everyone had arrived safely, and talked to Carole and Finn as well. Then Kurt ordered champagne and strawberries from room service while Blaine drew a bath.
“I knew the expensive room was a good idea,” Kurt murmured in Blaine's ear. He plucked up a strawberry, dipped it into one of their champagne glasses, and held it to Blaine's lips. He bit into it, the red juice staining his lips, and leaned back into his partner, feeling Kurt's hands slip around his waist.
“And that is why I let you make these kinds of decisions,” he said, looking up at Kurt's face. “You know, I think I fell even more in love with you today.”
“I was about to say the same thing. Parenting is kind of a turn-on for me, apparently,” Kurt answered him.
Blaine's furry eyebrows raised in amusement. “Oh really?”
“Really. I never, ever thought a diaper change could be that sexy...”
“You ain't seen nothin' yet then, darlin' - just wait till she spits up on me for the first time. Me covered in partially-digested formula? That's gonna Rock. Your. World.”
Kurt laughed into Blaine's shoulder. “You are so hilarious. I love you. Now drink your champagne, and come make passionate love to me. This water's starting to get cold, and I need something to warm me up.”
Blaine gave him a dark, sexy look. “Your wish is my command.”
[Chapter 7]