beautiful, sunny, romantic love
We walked to the flag pole, jumped off a wall and kissed under a tree for a while. Then some kid and his dad were playing tenis so we talked down in the ravine. We sat by a creek and let our feet be immersed in the clear water. We talked about the summer, he wants to come visit me, and for me to come up to portland as well. He is so sweet and...ahhhh. Ich mag ihm. We had about 15 minutes left so we went and lay in the sun on the grass by the rose garden. It was so beautiful. He complements me a lot. It makes it hard to not treat this seriously, I don't think I've really changed. I'm still a hopeless romantic at heart.
Yesterday was not one of the best days I've had. I spent all of my time, that I wasn't in class that is, until 5pm despretly trying to find a sound board opp for the senior projects. I had given in and said that I would be the back up and then realized that I really could not afford the time, and just plain didn't want to do it. Glenn was really sweet, he let me use his cell..oh, and at one point he said 'so whats the word morning glory'...awwww. At the last minute I had finally resigned to the fact that I was going to have to do it, I ran back to my room to get some reading for the night, and saw ben. He was incredibly stoned and I thought that he ended things..although he only got out a few words. I ran back down to the theatre, rather distraut and had to stop and walk because I couldn't breath, it was a little bit dramatic. Then when I got to the theatre Bjorn was there! and was the sound opp and I hugged him and loved him a lot! Then I cryed to Leslie about ben for a minute and got hugs from random people, I felt a little bad about that, oh well, I guess I'm not very good at controlling my emotions in public. Leslie and I were talking, waiting for her to have to go start when Che came! He looked so sad, but he was there. He was sooo happy when we told him he didn't have to do it.
Sadly we had to leave Leslie and Nora, but we went climbing and it was grand. It was exactly what I needed, and I'm getting a little bit better I think.
Last night was pretty good, although I spent way too much time hanging around Noah's hoping to see ben. I was in Mario's room talking to him until 3am hoping that ben would come back. He never did. I also spent a lot of my time in Che's room. We played Kings Cup, best card drinking game ever! Its nice and simple and people had to talk in a rediculous manner. After a bit we couldn't say personal pronouns, and we had to say 'in alice's (or whomever was speaking) box' or 'on Che's cock.'
Che is a really really nice and supportive person. He has made me feel really good about myself, like my feelings count and are worth something and like a am the type of person that people like and that ben should desire. He also had a lot of really interesting insight on ben's psyche which was fun. At one point he kicked everyone but kyle and me out of his room and he told us that we were his favorite people of each sex (excluding martha that is). We talked about things for a bit, then mario came and they talked about their problems with ben. Then I went on a walk with Che, we went to southy and got more hoch. He started talking about martha and I felt really bad, I felt as if I should have comforted him but I wasn't sure if I should and now I fee like I definitly should have. He also gave a lot of insight into nathaniel, much of which was very unexpected by me. Anyway, thats about it for last night.
I saw Ben at brunch and told him that I really wanted to talk, he said he was busy today but that we would definitly talk tomorrow. I said that I would rather not go through another night, so he sat with me while I ate and we talked. Then we went to his room (all on my lunch break for work) so that he could get study materials so that he could accompany me to the library. He kissed me in the area between his and kyle's rooms. He decided to lay on the grass between the reflecting pool and the flagpole and I wanted to join him oh so badly. I went back to the library and asked if I could leave for an hour and then just work an hour later. Grace said that was fine. Ben told me that if I could pull that off that I should come find him. I couldn't find him at first but then I did and it was beautiful.
Yesterday was not one of the best days I've had. I spent all of my time, that I wasn't in class that is, until 5pm despretly trying to find a sound board opp for the senior projects. I had given in and said that I would be the back up and then realized that I really could not afford the time, and just plain didn't want to do it. Glenn was really sweet, he let me use his cell..oh, and at one point he said 'so whats the word morning glory'...awwww. At the last minute I had finally resigned to the fact that I was going to have to do it, I ran back to my room to get some reading for the night, and saw ben. He was incredibly stoned and I thought that he ended things..although he only got out a few words. I ran back down to the theatre, rather distraut and had to stop and walk because I couldn't breath, it was a little bit dramatic. Then when I got to the theatre Bjorn was there! and was the sound opp and I hugged him and loved him a lot! Then I cryed to Leslie about ben for a minute and got hugs from random people, I felt a little bad about that, oh well, I guess I'm not very good at controlling my emotions in public. Leslie and I were talking, waiting for her to have to go start when Che came! He looked so sad, but he was there. He was sooo happy when we told him he didn't have to do it.
Sadly we had to leave Leslie and Nora, but we went climbing and it was grand. It was exactly what I needed, and I'm getting a little bit better I think.
Last night was pretty good, although I spent way too much time hanging around Noah's hoping to see ben. I was in Mario's room talking to him until 3am hoping that ben would come back. He never did. I also spent a lot of my time in Che's room. We played Kings Cup, best card drinking game ever! Its nice and simple and people had to talk in a rediculous manner. After a bit we couldn't say personal pronouns, and we had to say 'in alice's (or whomever was speaking) box' or 'on Che's cock.'
Che is a really really nice and supportive person. He has made me feel really good about myself, like my feelings count and are worth something and like a am the type of person that people like and that ben should desire. He also had a lot of really interesting insight on ben's psyche which was fun. At one point he kicked everyone but kyle and me out of his room and he told us that we were his favorite people of each sex (excluding martha that is). We talked about things for a bit, then mario came and they talked about their problems with ben. Then I went on a walk with Che, we went to southy and got more hoch. He started talking about martha and I felt really bad, I felt as if I should have comforted him but I wasn't sure if I should and now I fee like I definitly should have. He also gave a lot of insight into nathaniel, much of which was very unexpected by me. Anyway, thats about it for last night.
I saw Ben at brunch and told him that I really wanted to talk, he said he was busy today but that we would definitly talk tomorrow. I said that I would rather not go through another night, so he sat with me while I ate and we talked. Then we went to his room (all on my lunch break for work) so that he could get study materials so that he could accompany me to the library. He kissed me in the area between his and kyle's rooms. He decided to lay on the grass between the reflecting pool and the flagpole and I wanted to join him oh so badly. I went back to the library and asked if I could leave for an hour and then just work an hour later. Grace said that was fine. Ben told me that if I could pull that off that I should come find him. I couldn't find him at first but then I did and it was beautiful.