(no subject)
I'm so pissed off right now. Just everything is really annoying. First of all my dad is reading my credit card bills. WTF? That is private information and he shouldn't be looking at it. No, I'm not ashamed of what is on there. And no, I'm not in huge debt. In fact, my card is totally paid off. But still, I don't look at his credit card bills and he shouldn't look at mine. Second, I have to visit my grandparents on Sunday. I'm in Fort St. John for 2 full days, and frankly I don't want to be there. Yes, part of me does want to visit it them because they are my mom's parents, but it gets me down and there is nothing to do in Fort St. John. Thirdly, my dad has this annoying habit of always getting stupid emails that he just has to share with me. He'll call me from across the house like it's really really urgent and it turns out to be some stupid video of people getting blown up, doing stupid things, etc. Fourth, I hate the fact that people seem to be too busy to call me. I'm always the one to call other people. I have lost so many friends since January that I never do anything anymore. And I really hate people who act like they like you and then just stop talking to you all together. This puts doubt into my mind about my own sanity. Am I crazy? Or do people just not want to hang out with me. I'm so stressed and depressed and these pills haven't kicked in yet. I don't think anyone I know knows what I've been through and what I think about everyday. I don't think I've had a happy day in years. I've made so many mistakes and I've tried to live like a normal person but I just can't seem to. I honestly don't think that I was ever supposed to live this long. I think I got lucky somehow. I've always doubted everything I've done and I've always felt like I've never been right. This life is so hard. I can't wait for the next one...