Call it what u want..
I dont kno what to do with myself nemore. I feel out there and empty. Im not happy, and i cant hide it nemore. I wake up everyday pretending im ok,i walk around with a smile on my face and my head against the wind. But in my heart, i feel like im burning, like theres nothin out there for me. Like theres no reason to get out of bed in the morning,needless to say, no reason to get up period.
Lindsays gone and shes not coming back. ever. She'll always be my best friend, but things change people grow away from each other. Cac, heh, cacs not even alowwed to see me nemore. I cant keep figthing all my problems. Theyve gotten in already. Car, cars the only one left.. and yet shes more into my brother then our friendship. Its totally understandable tho. Shes my best friend and im one of hers, but its not the same friendship. You get what im saying? Ang, ang is more into her friends now. Before i even got the chance to see what she was doing this weekend she was telling me about her plans. I guess thats my fault. She feels like im to preoccupied with chris, and im not what so ever. I just have my mind in the wrong places at all the wrong times, i just dont know what im doing anymore. Chris.. sigh.. another one. I love him, yea i reallllly do, but it seems like hes not ready. He just got his liscense on monday, and he saw me and his friends, tuesday he saw his friends n had work, and today when he told me monday hed come n see me, he hung out with his friends. sometimes i just feel not important enough to him. I shouldnt be dedicating myself to someone who isnt gonan do the same in return. Im too grown up i think. Like in relationship wise.I want somone to love me, n make me feel llike im their everything, like im somethin they cant be without. I want him to go crazy when he doesnt see me for a couple of days. But its the total opposite. I should have listened to people. "Dont fall to quick" thats what they all said. Its too late, i just gotta sit back, close my eyes, cross my fingers and hope my heart doesnt get broken..again... thats all i need. Im juss falling more in love with him everyday...
I do think he loves me dont get me wrong..Hes perfect for me. Hes amazin, makes me feel like i have some sort of reason to be alive.. I love him wit all that i got. I dont ever want to lose him.. ever.I cant explain what i feel and put it into words right now, like i said.. im out there.
Neway so yea, i just feel out of place nemore. Like, theres nothing really here. My parents r thinking about moving. And their really serious. My dad dont have a job, and we just cant do it nemore. If we move, Yea id miss my alexis, car id see alot cause of her n paulie, and lindsay heh thats outta the question. i dont even see her now. But theres nothin here i want to stay for..
Im so sick of this feeling.. i just wanna be alone right now. not like im not already.. I guess this what u call depression.. heh. call it what u want
I guess the main question in my head right now.. is.. WHERE IS THIS FEELING COMING FROM!? somedays i feel so happy, so complete, and others.. i juss feel lonely. I have no reason to be sad. My boyfriends perfect my friends r amazing my family isnt falling apart nemore.. WTF!?!?!
xox
Lindsays gone and shes not coming back. ever. She'll always be my best friend, but things change people grow away from each other. Cac, heh, cacs not even alowwed to see me nemore. I cant keep figthing all my problems. Theyve gotten in already. Car, cars the only one left.. and yet shes more into my brother then our friendship. Its totally understandable tho. Shes my best friend and im one of hers, but its not the same friendship. You get what im saying? Ang, ang is more into her friends now. Before i even got the chance to see what she was doing this weekend she was telling me about her plans. I guess thats my fault. She feels like im to preoccupied with chris, and im not what so ever. I just have my mind in the wrong places at all the wrong times, i just dont know what im doing anymore. Chris.. sigh.. another one. I love him, yea i reallllly do, but it seems like hes not ready. He just got his liscense on monday, and he saw me and his friends, tuesday he saw his friends n had work, and today when he told me monday hed come n see me, he hung out with his friends. sometimes i just feel not important enough to him. I shouldnt be dedicating myself to someone who isnt gonan do the same in return. Im too grown up i think. Like in relationship wise.I want somone to love me, n make me feel llike im their everything, like im somethin they cant be without. I want him to go crazy when he doesnt see me for a couple of days. But its the total opposite. I should have listened to people. "Dont fall to quick" thats what they all said. Its too late, i just gotta sit back, close my eyes, cross my fingers and hope my heart doesnt get broken..again... thats all i need. Im juss falling more in love with him everyday...
I do think he loves me dont get me wrong..Hes perfect for me. Hes amazin, makes me feel like i have some sort of reason to be alive.. I love him wit all that i got. I dont ever want to lose him.. ever.I cant explain what i feel and put it into words right now, like i said.. im out there.
Neway so yea, i just feel out of place nemore. Like, theres nothing really here. My parents r thinking about moving. And their really serious. My dad dont have a job, and we just cant do it nemore. If we move, Yea id miss my alexis, car id see alot cause of her n paulie, and lindsay heh thats outta the question. i dont even see her now. But theres nothin here i want to stay for..
Im so sick of this feeling.. i just wanna be alone right now. not like im not already.. I guess this what u call depression.. heh. call it what u want
I guess the main question in my head right now.. is.. WHERE IS THIS FEELING COMING FROM!? somedays i feel so happy, so complete, and others.. i juss feel lonely. I have no reason to be sad. My boyfriends perfect my friends r amazing my family isnt falling apart nemore.. WTF!?!?!
xox