Wotching the Wotchers: Episode 12 [Gen 3.5]
[56 pictures behind the LJ Cut this update.] with commentary provided graciously for this update by katu.
Previously, on Wotching the Watchers, here in real life it was cold and snowy, people were still hung over and decided on New Years Resolutions, and it was all-around Januaryish. If you'd like to refresh yourself, the entry is here. But that was the past, and this is THE FUTURE! Onward!
This most brilliant of all guest updates with two lesbians getting their first kiss. Oh Abbi! Oh Jacqueline! What sweet petals doth touch as tender first kiss shared! What romance!
Adrian the alien fusses over a lack of food in the house.
Adrian: Didn't we buy anything other than Lean Cuisine?
To distract the poor man from his obvious pain, we now present to you the Pictures of the House section.
As you can see in this shot, the bright colours are placed to draw attention to the stark contrast between light wood and the bright colours themselves. This creates a molding point between the two polars, drawing your eyes in towards your nose and eventually making you lose conciousness. Genius.
And this is the back yard.
And the front!
The House: *sprawls*
Andy: i'm in ur nursry, eatin sum blokz.
Kids, this is what happens when your toddlers don't learn the speaking skill right away. D:
You know, Adrian, I don't want to concern you overly, but I'm a little worried that whatever castle you're going to? Your princess is probably in another one.
Adam: So, I hear you're a vampire.
Count: Um, yes, I am actually, why do you...
Adam: Well, I think I know someone who would be interested in your...unique services?
Count: You mean...she wants to have sex with me?!
Adam: -.- Your OTHER unique services.
Count: Ah, fair damsel, look into my fingertips! You are under my command!
Laurie: Wow, how are you doing that purple stuff? It looks really real.
Laurie: Wow, look, I really look like I'm undead! This is a cool trick, really realistic! How long until it wears off?
Count: ...
Adam: Your skin! It's cold, like ice! Let me kiss it to make it warmer!
Laurie: Yeah, isn't it neat? I think it's like a weird special effect. Like liquid nitrogen or something.
Taz: Don't mind me. Just standing uncomfortably close. You won't even notice I'm here.
Abbi: Andy, listen to me. This is really important. I'm your only friend, here. Your mom? Hates you. Your dad is trying to kill you. But you can always trust me, okay? Don't forget that.
Andy: ok. can has cheezburger nao?
Abbi: -.-
Okay, I don't know exactly why Laurie took this picture...but it TOTES looks like she soiled her pants. CLASSY, ABBI. FIRST SUBVERSION, NOW THIS.
Yeah, go on. Pretend like nothing happened.
Alice: When the baby kicks, I can taste clouds!
That's...not a good thing.
Alice: No, actually, they're pretty tasty.
"You suck, here's a lot of money!"
Dude, outdated? Duh! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A LEGACY SIM LEAVE THE HOUSE, HUH?!
Alice: That is a different taste than clouds. This one is more like sunbeams.
Dora: She's going to die, isn't she.
Um, I can't say.
Abbi: Man, spaghetti is SO much better when it's aged!
Dude, that only works for cheese. And wine. Spaghetti just goes BAD.
Alice: STUFF IN MY STOMACH SHOULD NOT COME OUT MY VAGINA.
Andy: going to the moon brb
Alice's Stomach: *is a straightedge*
This is Akiana! You don't know it yet, but you LOVE HER. ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD AKIANA.
Adrian: Awww, fixing cars is haaardddd. It's all oily and grimy! What about my beautifully manicured hands?
Abbi: Okay, two and a quarter turns to the right ought to do it, and then we just need to replace the old carbuerator and get some headlights wired up...
Andy: r u mah mommy?
Butler: Sir, your offspring wishes to know if I am his mother. What would you like me to say to him?
Adam (I think?): He's not mine. Tell him whatever you want.
However, it was too late, and the young alien had all ready imprinted on poor Jeeves, and would now follow him, hoping to nurse.
Just kidding. But he DID turn into Zack Morris.
Andy: im link
Despite his inability to form proper grammatical sentences, he was still allowed to use a microphone.
Abbi: This chili is aged to perfection!
...I give up.
Abbi: HAHAHA, OMG, WHAT DID I DO TO MY HAIR?! I LOOK PREPOSTEROUS!
Must have been the after-effects of all that aged food.
Adrian: And then I was like, "Man, didn't we buy anything other than Lean Cuisine?"
Crowd: ...
But then it came the time in many a young person's life when it's no longer appropriate to live with your grandparents...so you kick them out on their asses.
And young Akiana (ALL HAIL) is about due a birthday, consequently!
Ta da! Isn't she lovely!
Heehee, no, this is Abbi's third girlfriend. Laurie didn't tell me her name, so I am calling her Dwayne.
HERE is Akiana (all hail). And now you know what I'm talking about!
Akiana: HAI EVERYBODY! Welcome to mah show!
Akiana: Today we's gonna learn not to talk to stwangers, even if dey's got tasty candy.
Jeeves: I say, this uniform was not part of my listed job description. I believed I was meant to wear something...more modest.
Abbi: Why are you wearing those shorts? What happened to the Speedo I gave you?
Jeeves: *sigh*
Oh, Adele. You're such a rebel in your poodle skirt and Posh Spice hair.
Adele: Breaking this thing was the only thing that was gonna get me some screen time. It's not my fault I'm not a raging lesbian who loves food poisoning.
Touche.
(SORRY GUYS I CAN'T DO YOUR FANCY FRENCH E'S).
Akiana: Okay, now on dis episode of da Akiana show, we's gonna learn how to get back da fishies dat got thwowed away.
Akiana, I forgive you (all hail).
Readers, allow me to introduce you to my personal favourite room in this house, the design of which I am TOTES STEALING HAHAHA LAURIE YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
Edward Cullen: You smell sooo good, can I watch you while you sleep? Don't worry, I'm not THAT kind of "predator."
Poor Andy. His homework is extra hard because of his speech impediment.
Dis time, on da Akiana show, DANCE PARTY SPAM:
*UNS UNS UNS UNS*
*WICKITAWICKTAWAAA*
*UNS UNS UNS UNS*
*UNS UNS UNS UNS UNS*
Akiana: Thwow your hands up! Wock on!
Akiana: PWAY FWEE BIWD!
Akiana: DIS MAH SONG, GURL.
Akiana: DIS MAH SOOOONG!
Akiana: Oh hai daddy.
You know he's only teaching her to walk so she can get down with her bad self.
Akiana: Okay! See you next time on Da Akiana show!
Adele: HAH. Now you can't make Posh Spice jokes anymore.
That's true. You know, if you had only been BORN in the 50s, you could have had that hairstyle FIRST.
Adele: Oh, shut up.
A quiet family moment, for once. Without Abbi making out with girls, or Alice dying of pregnancy, and while Akiana (all hail) interviews Andy for her show.
No, this time the troublemaker is...Adele?
Adele: Negative attention is attention. That's like the first rule of child raising.
Well, you certainly caught their attention. Is that what you were going for?
Adele: Oh, shut up.
Coming Up on Wotching the Wotchers - Akiana (all hail) grows up, Abbi gets one less girlfriend, and Adele continues her attention getting ways!
For ALL past Wotcher updates, click here!