Myshuno # 5
Title: Two
Prompt: Good Jackson (by Penguingirl)
Word Count: 14670 (Yes, you read that right)
Notes: Okay. I did not intend for my response to this prompt to be this long. But once the story came to mind it demanded to be written in full. And since I have written it in full, you get to read it in full. I divided it up into three posts though to make it easier to read. Also there are a few things that need to be said.
1) This is completely an AU. Neither universe mentioned in this story is my canon universe.
2) As I'm writing a generation ahead of where my legacy is in game and in story, even though this is completely AU there are some spoilery bits.
3) I hope this is mostly understandable. It will probably make more sense to people that have read my legacy, or other pieces I have posted here. If I had more time and energy, I could possibly make it a bit more self-contained, but I was afraid that if I tried, I would never get it out in time.
4) Having said that last point. I am reserving the right to come back to this later and edit. So consider this a beta draft, and anyone who reads it can be my beta readers. Feel free to add any constructive criticism in the comments. Also in this vein. For some reason I couldn't access spell check when I posted this, and I don't have it in the program I use to write. I'm going to work around this, but if you read it before I fix everything bare with any spelling errors.
5) I posted these in reverse order so you should see them in proper order. I've included links to the other two here. Part Two: http://lauriempress.livejournal.com/55905.html Part Three: http://lauriempress.livejournal.com/55643.html
Day One
Jackson Xenobia couldn't remember a time when he hadn't had the dreams. In some ways they were as much a part of him as the scar on his chest. He remembered how strange it felt to him, when he realized his brothers didn't also have them, that no one in his family did. In a family as tight as theirs, it was hard to explain something that no one else really understood.
They were very different from Jackson's normal dreams. For one thing they happened whether he was awake or asleep. Also, Jackson normally dreamed very vivid sensory dreams, everything seemed more intense than in real life. The visions were just the opposite. Colors and sounds were muted. Food had no taste, and smells were almost non-existant. When he touched anything it felt as if he wearing a body glove. In sharp contrast what was vivid, what screamed at him, was the thoughts and emotions in his head. Emotions, thoughts, that were somehow his, and not his.
When he'd told his father about the dreams, Jackson had found out that they were more visions than dreams. That's when he found out he had a double in another universe. An echo of himself, one that Jackson visited in these visons. That's when he'd started his studies into multiverse/omniverse theory.
The visions weren't predictable. Jackson could count on having three or four a year, but there was never really a set pattern of when or where. They were part of him, so they didn't surprise him when they happened as much as they began, over time, to disturb him.
And, the more he saw of the other Jackson, the more disturbed he got. His double hated his family, mentally abused his wife and son, and did anything and everything to get what he wanted. He had no faith, no life color, no ethics, and it scared him to think that he could be like that.
As Jackson thought about all this he glanced over at his sleeping wife. They say that we all look like children when we sleep, and Katherine looked like a little cherub, his own angel sent by the Father to make his life complete. Tristan, their son looked so much like a red-headed version of her, and had her creative sensibilities. He would do anything to keep them both safe
He glanced at the clock, and sighed. He needed to get some sleep if he was going to help Katherine and Tristan get ready in the morning. He slipped under the covers and snuggled up against his wife before falling asleep.
The morning sun tickled his eyelids and woke him up. He slid himself up against the headboard and frowned looking over at the empty bed. He must have slept through Katherine's alarm, and she let him sleep in. He appreciated the thought, but he enjoyed the time he spent with her and Tristan before they left for their daily routines. Oh well, it was Friday, they'd have the weekend.
As his eyes and head began to adjust to being awake he noticed that his room had changed. The walls were an oatmeal color rather than the white with small green flowers he and Katherine had picked out last year. It didn't take him long to figure out why things were different. He'd seen this room enough to know. He was in his echo's room.
But this wasn't a vision, and it wasn't a dream. Nothing was muted; nothing was over vivid. Everything felt normal. Well, except for the confusion and mild panic coursing through him like cold blood. His mind scarcely began one question when another forced it's way into his thoughts. That's when Katherine walked in the door.
"Wha? How did you? You just left in your car?" the bewilderment in her voice was reflected all through her.
"Kath, it's not, I'm not him. I'm me." It sounded lame even in his own ears.
Katherine canted her head slightly and then moved toward her desk. The desk where Jackson knew his Katherine kept a loaded pistol in case of burglers.
"Oh shit, Kathy!" he sprang out of bed, just in time to see her flop into the chair and stare up at him. He noticed that she was staring at scar he got on his chest, which was just about the time he remembered he didn't have any clothes on.
"When did you get that?"
"I've had it since I was nine. A sledding accident."
"No. You don't have that scar, Jeff does."
"Maybe here he does, but where I'm from, I have it. That's what I'm trying to tell you, Kath, I'm not your Jackson. I'm, I'm a Jackson from an alternate universe."
"Like Al and Cay?"
"Exactly like Al and Cay, except that I'm an echo of Jackson, and he's an echo of me. Look, I know how he treats you. I've had visions of him all my life. I'm not him, though."
"Why did you jump out of bed?" She had started looking at the rest of him now, and Jackson wasn't quite sure whether he should be embarrassed or not.
"Because my Katherine keeps a loaded pistol in her desk drawer."
"You, or, he," she didn't sound all that convinced yet, "found it and threw it out."
"Why?"
"The same reason you jumped out of bed naked, I think."
"Well, considering how he treats you and Tristan, I could understand if you did."
She stood up then, and moved toward him.
"I, let me look you in the eyes?"
Jackson nodded, but inside he cringed at just how broken this Katherine felt to him. He held his hands down at his sides, and waited for her to come closer. When her beautiful green eyes stared into his, he resisted the urge to lean down and kiss away the confusion he saw there. She looked into his blue eyes for a long time, and finally she turned away.
"Katherine?"
"You aren't him. You look like him, sound like him, smell like him, but you aren't. How did you get here?"
"I'm not really sure. I went to sleep in my own bed and woke up here."
"Is he there?"
"I've no clue. But didn't you say you just saw him drive away?"
"Yes. He had his phone with him."
"And mine's still on my bedstand at home."
She nodded, pulled out her mobile phone and dialed Jackson's.
"Hello?"
Jackson had to sit down on the bed when he heard his own voice coming from the phone.
"Jackson, it's Katherine."
"I know that, I can see it on my phone," he said not even trying to hide his impatience.
"There's an attache case here, next to the front door. I wasn't sure if it was yours or your mother's."
"It must be mother's, you handed me mine just before I walked out the door. You know you could have just looked inside and found this out without calling me."
"You don't like for me to look inside your things."
"Don't get all passive agressive with me, Katherine. Anyway, I have my attache case, so I'm hanging up. Bye."
Katherine sighed as she ended the call on her end as well. "Bye." Then she glanced over at me. "He's still here. That's good."
Jackson raised an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't want your Katherine and Tristan to have to deal with him."
"She probably would shoot him."
"Not fatally, she'd be afraid of how it might affect you."
"You're probably right, but that would be enough to get the rest of the house up. He wouldn't get much of a chance if he were there."
She nodded. "What are we going to do?"
"No clue."
She sat down beside him and then after a few moments reached for her phone again.
"I'm calling Jeff to ask him to come over, you might want to put on some of my husband's clothes. Unless of course you want him to see you like that."
"Yeah, not really." He moved toward the dresser and searched for whatever clothes his alternate had in white. Underwear and socks were fairly easy. In the end he grabbed a white polo and black jeans. It would have to do. Once he was dressed he turned to Katherine.
"He never wears those. I'm surprised he didn't return them after I gave them to him."
"I'm glad he didn't. For someone that insists he doesn't have a life color he sure has a lot of grey."
"I think in his mind grey's a non-color."
"I can sort of see that. So is Jeff on his way? And are we the only ones in the house?"
"Yes, he should be here in a few minutes. Your mother and grandparents are in Takemizu, and Tristan is at school."
"Do they often leave you alone with him?"
"Not usually. But Jackson has been planning this business trip for months, and your mom wanted to treat your grandparents. She offered to take Tristan and I, but I didn't want to pull him out of school so we were going to leave for Three Lakes after he got home."
"He'll enjoy that."
"Well, I'm not sure if we're going now."
"Why? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your plans."
"I know. Jeff will help us sort it out."
"He's good at that sort of thing."
Having run out of things to say the two of them sat quietly on the bed. Jackson was surprised it wasn't awkward, but it felt just like many other times he and Katherine had enjoyed the silence and each other's presence. The change in universe didn't seem to matter.
Finally though, Katherine stood. "I should make some coffee and danish before Jeff gets here."
"Sounds good to me. Do you need any help, or should I just wait at the table?"
"I'm fine, but, well, thanks."
"Of course."
Once downstairs he was startled at how familiar and how different the house felt. It was basically the same house he'd grown up in, and his visions over the years had familiarized some of the differences. Being here, though, experiencing the house in reality, rather than that muted landscape in the vision, he could sense all the contrasts more sharply. The house was almost entirely painted in a non-descript beige. Except for some family portraits and a few personal items here and there, the house was hardly decorated. The funiture was expensive, but lacking in warmth or charm. The feelings of love, belonging, devotion, that had so permeated his house since it was built, had fled this place, except for a few pockets where his elders kept it alive.
Katherine placed coffee and danish in front of him, just as the doorbell rang.
"Oh that'll be Jeff, stay here, I'll get it."
"Kathy?" Jackson called to her just before she left the room. She glanced back to him. "Thank you."
Her face beamed. "You're welcome. I'll be back."
He nodded and watched her leave. He heard her answer the door, and caught bits and pieces of her conversation with Jeff as she led him to the dining room.
Jefferson Xenobia entered the room and took a long look at Jackson. "She says you have my scar."
Jackson nodded, "I'd show you but it's a bit difficult with clothes on."
"How did you get it?"
"Probably the same way you did. I got caught up in some barbed wire during a sledding accident."
"But you weren't headed toward the barbed wire, you knew it was there, you steered away from it."
"Knew it was.... No, I didn't! If I had any idea it was there, I would have taken us to a different hill. Do you really think I would do that to you and Zane. Jeff, You're my brothers for Almighty's sake!"
"You're right, Katherine, it's not him. I shouldn't say it, but do you think the Father would let us keep this one?"
Katherine softly chuckled and then went to get some food for herself and Jeff.
"I'd stay, Jeff, but I have my own family that would miss me."
"He never calls me Jeff. And what should I call you?"
"Well, my Jeff calls me Jax. Him and Zane are the only ones I let get away with it though."
"Thank God, you two get along in some universe. So, Jax, what are we going to do?"
"Well, I hate to be the one to mention it to a seminary student, but prayer wouldn't be amiss would it?"
"Hate to mention it huh? You enjoyed that, I could see it in your eyes. You're right though, we'll start when Katherine comes back."
"Start what when I come back?" She asked as she came through the swinging doors connecting the kitchen and dining room.
"Praying," Jackson answered as he stood and helped her with the dishes of food. "Since none of us quite know what to do, we thought perhaps we might ask."
She nodded and sat down in her chair. The three of them bowed their heads, and Jefferson and Jackson both started out, "Almighty Father."
"Sorry, you're the one studying to be a pastor, go ahead."
"And you're the head of the family. Please, I've waited for years to hear your voice in prayer."
Jackson gave in and began again.
"Almighty Father, creator of all, nothing is beyond your grasp, and nothing is too hard for you. I believe that I am here because of your will, and that you have a plan and a purpose for my being here. We are in the dark to this plan however, and we need your guidance to know what you would have us do. We do not want to take a step either to the right or to the left of the path you have for us. So, we ask that you instruct us, guide us, and shower us with your peace and love as we seek to do your will. In the son's precious name, Amen."
"Amen."
"Amen."
They were silent for a while. Communing in their thoughts to the God they'd just prayed to. After a few moments Jackson had the strongest urge.
"We should pack."
"You too?" Jeff asked.
Katherine looked up, "Well, I might as well make it unanimous. I can't shake the idea of getting mine and Tristan's luggage packed."
At that point Katherine's phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Kath, it's me, Zane."
"Oh hi, Zane, how are you?"
"I'm fine, but promise me you won't think I'm crazy."
"Why what's going on?"
"I just felt the spirit nudging me to call you and see if you wanted Cassie, and I to join you at the cabin Sunday morning. I'd say earlier, but Cassie has to work tomorrow."
"That's sounds great, Zane. Jeff decided to join us as well, so it works out fine."
"We'll see you there, then! Have a good day, okay?"
"I will, you too, Zane."
"I don't know about you two," Jeff whispered, "but that pretty much confirms it in my mind. I'll head home, pack some clothes, and then head on up to Three Lakes and get the cabin open and aired out. You two can get some things packed and drive up there after you pick up Tristan."
Jackson and Katherine nodded, and then walked Jeff to the door. Katherine handed her brother-in-law a key as he headed out. Once he was gone, Jackson turned to Katherine. "Where should we start?"
"We?"
"Did you think I was going to make you do it all on your own?"
"I, I'm used to that."
"Well, I'm not."
"Let's start in ou, in our room."
Jackson nodded and motioned for her to go first, and then followed her up the stairs. Once in the bedroom again, he helped her get clothes for the both of them for three days. She moved on to gathering toiletries, and Jackson began searching the room.
"What are you looking for?"
"My scriptures, I thought I put them next to the bed, but I can't find them."
There was a pause, and then he heard her voice again from the bathroom, "You are in the wrong bedroom, Jackson, but my scriptures are on my side of the bed if you want to pack them for me."
"I can't belive I forgot just like that. I guess it just felt like any other time we pack for a weekend getaway."
"Your Katherine is very lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one," I said as I moved to our ensuite bathroom.
"Perhaps you both are," she told me from the mirror.
"I wish I could get you away from him."
She gave a wan smile. "Let's focus on what we know we're supposed to do. Then we can wish about what we want."
He moved closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. "All right, but as long as I'm here I won't let him hurt you or Tristan. You have my word."
She gently patted the hand. "I know."
He was hit with a desire to pull her into his arms and hold her forever, and it scared him. She was so much like his Katherine, but was she his? He had no difficulty with the idea that he and the other Jackson were different, but Katherine was so much like his own it was harder. "Maybe I should go start on Tristan's things."
"That would help me a lot."
"Consider it done then," and he turned to leave.
"Don't forget his sketchbook."
"Which one?"
"I think he's working on the red one at the moment."
"Should I grab his charcoals and pastels as well?"
"Probably. If he doesn't have them with him."
"I'll look."
Jackson walked into his son's room and it was like a sea of familiarity. So much was the same, his easel, his pile of sketchbooks, art supplies. As usual his art area was immaculate, the rest of the room not so much. He bent down and started straightening. He wasn't sure why, just that it felt like something he could do for his son.
He was almost done when the one difference of the room hit him. There was nothing of himself. There were still lots of family photos and portraits, just like Tristan's room back home, but none with Jackson. He didn't even try to fight the tears. He swore to himself that, even if only for this weekend, Tristan would have the father he was missing.
He started pulling out clothes when Katherine walked in. She took a look around and smiled. "I'll make sure he knows who cleaned his room for him."
"It's not the only thing I'm going to do for him this weekend."
"It's not your fault."
"No, but I'm his father too, and I'll do everything I can for him, even if it can never be enough."
She didn't say anything to that, just finished helping him back Tristan's things.
When they had the car loaded they sat in the living room and talked while they waited until it was time to pick their son up. Mostly Katherine asked questions about his life, about the other Katherine. Jackson tried not to think about what might have happened upstairs.
Finally, the clock struck half-past two, and Katherine stood up. "You'll need to lay down in the back seat until we get out of town."
"I figured as much. It's all right, it would make sense that Tristan would be riding up front anyway."
She nodded and grabbed her purse, sitting next to the attache case beside the door. "Let's go."
He stood and moved into the garage. When Katherine opened the mini-van door, he slid in and tried to make himself comfortable. It wasn't easy, the seatbelts kept digging into his back and butt. He heard Katherine get in and get settled.
"Are you all right back there?"
"I'm fine for now. It's not the most comfortable, but I'll make it until we get out of town."
She nodded, and got the car in motion. She was very focused on her surroundings until they left the neighborhood.
"I'm going to try to explain things to Tristan before we get to the car, but I'm not sure how well it will go. He, well, he isn't his father's favorite fan."
"I can understand. I'll try not to rush things."
"Well, if you gain his trust, you'll probably have a shadow the whole weekend."
They talked a little more as they made their way to the school. They had arranged the luggage so that it hid the backseat from outside view, no one would know he was hiding in there, unless they were in the car.
"I'll be back in about ten, or fifteen minutes. I'll crack the window."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
He thought about how much freer she seemed the longer they were together. Much more like his Katherine back home. That brought home something a bit more worrisome, he hadn't really thought about his Katherine the last few hours, except if she brought her up. He supposed rationally it made sense. It would be hard to miss someone who as far as your senses were concerned was right there, but he wondered if he was just rationalizing it away.
He tried to imagine what his own Katherine would be doing right now. She'd still be at work, so he pictured her at her desk, designing graphics on her computer. She said she'd been working on a new logo for one of his mother's magazines, but he couldn't remember which one at the moment. Not that it mattered his mind focused more on her than what she was doing. He visualized the fall of her hair, the gentle movements of her wrist, the curve of her back. Now he could see the jeans she was wearing and the way they hugged her backside, and it made him smile until he realized, Katherine didn't wear jeans to the office. He was thinking of this Katherine again.
He frowned and shifted as the seatbelt dug into his back again, and groaned when he realized his pants were tighter from his fantasies. He was going to need a cold shower when he got to the cabin at this point.
"So, just remember, he's your father, but he's not the father you're used to. Give him a chance?"
"Okay, Mom," Tristan's voice sounded dubious.
He could see Katherine at the passenger door, and saw her open it. He flashed a foolish smile to his son as he climbed in, and winked at him.
Tristan blinked and then nodded before he turned forward in the seat and put his belt on. He sat rimrod straight, with his hands at his side.
Katherine got back in next, and after she had her belt securred pulled out of the school parking lot. The ride was very quiet for several minutes until Tristan turned his head toward the back seat.
"What do I call you?"
"Well, I would think Jackson, or Dad. Whichever you feel more comfortable with. Mr. Xenobia might be a little much."
"Mr. Jackson," he said firmly.
"That's fine. What should I call you?"
He tilted his head. He hadn't thought about that. "I guess you can call me Tristan."
"Okay, if I forget and call you son, you remind me alright?"
"Alright."
At that point Tristan asked if he could listen to a CD, Kristin nodded, and the boy pulled it out of the console and popped it into the player. Soon very familiar music was filling the mini-van. Jackson recognized it immediately as Tristan's favorite. Not quite into bands and the like yet, it was a children's mix of several of the popular songs from a few years ago.
"Send me there, I wanna go. Send me there!" Tristan began to sing along.
"I'll send you there. We'll go together. I'll send you there!" Jackson joined in, like he usually did.
Tristan stopped singing and looked toward the back seat again.
"Should I stop?" Jackson asked the serious young man staring at him. "I know I sing like someone stepped on a cat in heat."
"No, it's okay. I just didn't know you knew the words." He turned back around and began to sing again. Katherine gave an exaggerated sigh of acceptance.
Once they were out of town, Katherine pulled over, Jackson slipped out, they fixed the luggage so Tristan could sit comfortably, and once everyone was in place they made their way on to the cabin.
"Are you excited to see Lake Arrowhead again?"
"Lake Arrowhead? I thought we were going to the new cabin on Lake Bearclaw?"
"We are."
"Wait, what new cabin?"
"HE bought it six months ago. He went there once for some sort of business meeting with a client. He hasn't been back since that I know of. I figured we should open it up again before winter hits, and see if there's anything that needs to be done before the snows come."
"Nothing happened to the other cabin did it?"
"No, honestly, I have no clue why he bought it. He only seems to have used it once."
"It's cause HE likes to collect things, but once he has them he doesn't care anymore."
"Well, I haven't been to Lake Bearclaw in twenty years. I bet it'll be great." Jackson said trying to lighten the mood.
"I hear they have a waterfall there. I can't wait to sketch it!"
"I've been there, it's beautiful. The foam where the cascade crashes against the rocks, it's almost like cotton balls or whipped cream when you're looking from the top."
"Cool! Mr. Jackson?"
"Yes, Tristan?"
"Do *you* have a life color."
"Yes, I do. I chose white when I was just about your age. I wanted to be like your grandpa."
"Grandpa is so cool! I wish he was home more. Did he ever turn invisible for you?"
"Did more than that, he showed me how to do it."
Tristan's little mouth dropped wide.
"Can you show me?"
"Not yet, I'm afraid. You have to be a little older. But he also showed me how to build a birdhouse, when I was your age. Has he taught you that?"
"No, maybe you can?"
"Sounds great. How about tomorrow after breakfast?"
"Okay!"
The sun was starting to set when they approached the cabin. Jeff stepped out onto the porch, to welcome them.
"UNCLE JEFF!" Tristan yelled and ran up to get a hug.
"Hey squirt!" Jeff said as he wrapped his arm around his nephew. "So what do you think of this guy huh?" He shot his thumb toward Jackson as he asked.
"He seems okay so far. A lot better than the other one."
"I think so too. But you can talk to me about it later. Right now, dinner's on the table so go wash your hands."
"Where's the bathroom?"
"Go to the hall, it's the third door on the right."
Tristan rushed into the house, as Katherine and Jackson stepped onto the porch.
"Any troubles, Jeff?" Katherine asked.
"None at all. The place seems to be in pretty good shape. Whoever owned it before kept it in good shape. We'll want to fix the pipes so they don't burst when things start to freeze, but other than that I don't see any issues."
"Good. What's for dinner?"
"Hobo stew and chef's salad."
"Sounds delicious."
"It should be. It's Grandpa Rafe's recipe."
They all stepped into the house, and got ready for dinner. To Jackson, the dinner seemed subdued. Of course, he was used to having at least six people at the dinner table. Tristan was quite animated though, talking about school, and all his plans for the weekend. Jeff told them humorous stories from seminary. Katherine and Jackson played the appreciative audience. After the meal, Jeff took them through the cabin.
"He obviously didn't plan on this replacing the family cabin on arrowhead. There's only two rooms. There's a King size bed in one, and one set of bunkbeds in the other."
"Can I have the top bunk, Uncle Jeff? Please?" Tristan was obviously oblivious to the issues surrounding the beds.
"Sure, kiddo. Why don't you go in there now, and figure out where you want to stow your gear?"
"Okay."
When he was gone, Jackson looked over at Jeff. "It's okay, I'll take the couch."
"No, you're a guest. I'll take the couch."
"You're both being ridiculous."
The men glanced over at her. She turned her glance to Jackson. "My husband and I share a king size bed without touching every night. Why should anyone sleep on the couch."
Jeff looked back and forth between the two of them, before he finally just nodded and went in to check on Tristan.
"Are you sure?" Jackson asked.
"I'm sure. I trust you."
Jackson nodded, and then oppened the door to the other bedroom. Turning on the lights he saw a sleigh bed made of mahogany. The comforter was a two tone checkered pattern with black embroidered bears, bison, and elk. On the opposite wall directly in front of the bed was a mahogany chest of drawers, flanked by two dressers. Framed landscapes lined the walls. Jackson saw two doors. One he guessed led to an ensuite bathroom, the other went outside onto a balcony. Katherine silently slid toward the balcony door, and opening it up glanced outside.
"A hot tub."
"Sounds heavenly."
She nodded, "Perhaps later."
"I'll bring our things in."
She just nodded and started opening out the drawers.
Once everyone was unpacked, they met in the family room and popped corn in the fireplace. Tristan so animated earlier, fell asleep against Jeff who carried him to bed. Jackson frowned as he watched them.
"What's wrong?" the wariness was back in her voice.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing really. A touch of jealousy I think. Silly really."
"Jealous of Jeff?"
Jackson caught something in her tone and turned toward her. "Just a bit. I'm used to him falling asleep on me. That's all. It's not like how HE feels."
"How do you know?"
"I told you about the visions. The most real thing in them is HIS feelings and thoughts. I know exactly how he feels about each and every one of you. And I know that's not how I feel."
She nodded gave him a thoughtful smile. "I think I'm going to head to bed too. If I'm making breakfast for this crew, I'm going to need some sleep."
"Good night, lov, Katherine. Sleep well."
"You too." She got up, said her goodnights to Jeff as they passed in the hall and then slipped into the bedroom. He was watching her as the door shut closed but he couldn't pull his eyes away.
"Jax?"
"Huh? Oh sorry Jeff, I was thinking."
"Look if you want, I can still sleep on the couch."
"And have her furious at us tomorrow? She's cooking our breakfast remember. No, it's all right. I should be able to control myself for a couple of nights."
"Okay."
"Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"Confession is good for the soul and all that, right?"
"Done the right way, yeah. What's up?"
"Well, I was watching you put Tristan to bed, and I felt jealous. It worried Katherine. And honestly it's starting to worry me. It's not the kind of jealousy HE feels, but,"
"But?"
"What if it's just the beginning? Jeff, the last thing in the world I want to be is like him. He's a conscienceless bastard who doesn't care about anyone other than himself. I don't want to be that way."
"You can't."
"What do you mean, I can't? HE did. There were times, especially when I was younger, but even now, where I could understand what he was feeling and why. I could see myself feeling the same way, it scares the shit out of me, Jeff."
"Yes, I'm sure it does, Jax, and you always have to be careful about your emotions and what they lead you to do. But putting all the other similarities and differences between you aside, there is one major difference between you and him that will keep you safe."
"What is that?"
"You serve different masters. Like you said, he doesn't have a conscience. You do, and you have the Spirit inside you. You won't fall to where he is, brother. You made the choices he feared."
Jackson sat quietly as he thought about that. Jeff sat with him as the fire slowly died. About half an hour later, Jeff stood up. "I'm going to bed. I'll be praying that we can figure out the next step."
"Me too." Jackson said. He smothered the rest of the fire, and moved toward the bedroom.
He opened the door careful not to make a lot of noise. He changed into pajamas that she had laid out on the bed. He brushed his teeth, and then slipped under the covers.
It was all he could do not to cuddle up against her. Everything about her was achingly familiar, from the shape of her body beneath the covers to the scent of her hair as it wafted over to his side of the bed. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, kiss her till she asked for more. But would that be cheating on his wife? And would she be cheating on her husband? What rules applied in a situation like this?
So he prayed. Not formulaic phrases, but an honest heart to heart with his God. He kept praying until he fell asleep. When dreams came he was with his wife in the hotel they'd had their honeymoon in. They did all the things he longed to do, and he woke up with a smile on his face.
Prompt: Good Jackson (by Penguingirl)
Word Count: 14670 (Yes, you read that right)
Notes: Okay. I did not intend for my response to this prompt to be this long. But once the story came to mind it demanded to be written in full. And since I have written it in full, you get to read it in full. I divided it up into three posts though to make it easier to read. Also there are a few things that need to be said.
1) This is completely an AU. Neither universe mentioned in this story is my canon universe.
2) As I'm writing a generation ahead of where my legacy is in game and in story, even though this is completely AU there are some spoilery bits.
3) I hope this is mostly understandable. It will probably make more sense to people that have read my legacy, or other pieces I have posted here. If I had more time and energy, I could possibly make it a bit more self-contained, but I was afraid that if I tried, I would never get it out in time.
4) Having said that last point. I am reserving the right to come back to this later and edit. So consider this a beta draft, and anyone who reads it can be my beta readers. Feel free to add any constructive criticism in the comments. Also in this vein. For some reason I couldn't access spell check when I posted this, and I don't have it in the program I use to write. I'm going to work around this, but if you read it before I fix everything bare with any spelling errors.
5) I posted these in reverse order so you should see them in proper order. I've included links to the other two here. Part Two: http://lauriempress.livejournal.com/55905.html Part Three: http://lauriempress.livejournal.com/55643.html
Day One
Jackson Xenobia couldn't remember a time when he hadn't had the dreams. In some ways they were as much a part of him as the scar on his chest. He remembered how strange it felt to him, when he realized his brothers didn't also have them, that no one in his family did. In a family as tight as theirs, it was hard to explain something that no one else really understood.
They were very different from Jackson's normal dreams. For one thing they happened whether he was awake or asleep. Also, Jackson normally dreamed very vivid sensory dreams, everything seemed more intense than in real life. The visions were just the opposite. Colors and sounds were muted. Food had no taste, and smells were almost non-existant. When he touched anything it felt as if he wearing a body glove. In sharp contrast what was vivid, what screamed at him, was the thoughts and emotions in his head. Emotions, thoughts, that were somehow his, and not his.
When he'd told his father about the dreams, Jackson had found out that they were more visions than dreams. That's when he found out he had a double in another universe. An echo of himself, one that Jackson visited in these visons. That's when he'd started his studies into multiverse/omniverse theory.
The visions weren't predictable. Jackson could count on having three or four a year, but there was never really a set pattern of when or where. They were part of him, so they didn't surprise him when they happened as much as they began, over time, to disturb him.
And, the more he saw of the other Jackson, the more disturbed he got. His double hated his family, mentally abused his wife and son, and did anything and everything to get what he wanted. He had no faith, no life color, no ethics, and it scared him to think that he could be like that.
As Jackson thought about all this he glanced over at his sleeping wife. They say that we all look like children when we sleep, and Katherine looked like a little cherub, his own angel sent by the Father to make his life complete. Tristan, their son looked so much like a red-headed version of her, and had her creative sensibilities. He would do anything to keep them both safe
He glanced at the clock, and sighed. He needed to get some sleep if he was going to help Katherine and Tristan get ready in the morning. He slipped under the covers and snuggled up against his wife before falling asleep.
The morning sun tickled his eyelids and woke him up. He slid himself up against the headboard and frowned looking over at the empty bed. He must have slept through Katherine's alarm, and she let him sleep in. He appreciated the thought, but he enjoyed the time he spent with her and Tristan before they left for their daily routines. Oh well, it was Friday, they'd have the weekend.
As his eyes and head began to adjust to being awake he noticed that his room had changed. The walls were an oatmeal color rather than the white with small green flowers he and Katherine had picked out last year. It didn't take him long to figure out why things were different. He'd seen this room enough to know. He was in his echo's room.
But this wasn't a vision, and it wasn't a dream. Nothing was muted; nothing was over vivid. Everything felt normal. Well, except for the confusion and mild panic coursing through him like cold blood. His mind scarcely began one question when another forced it's way into his thoughts. That's when Katherine walked in the door.
"Wha? How did you? You just left in your car?" the bewilderment in her voice was reflected all through her.
"Kath, it's not, I'm not him. I'm me." It sounded lame even in his own ears.
Katherine canted her head slightly and then moved toward her desk. The desk where Jackson knew his Katherine kept a loaded pistol in case of burglers.
"Oh shit, Kathy!" he sprang out of bed, just in time to see her flop into the chair and stare up at him. He noticed that she was staring at scar he got on his chest, which was just about the time he remembered he didn't have any clothes on.
"When did you get that?"
"I've had it since I was nine. A sledding accident."
"No. You don't have that scar, Jeff does."
"Maybe here he does, but where I'm from, I have it. That's what I'm trying to tell you, Kath, I'm not your Jackson. I'm, I'm a Jackson from an alternate universe."
"Like Al and Cay?"
"Exactly like Al and Cay, except that I'm an echo of Jackson, and he's an echo of me. Look, I know how he treats you. I've had visions of him all my life. I'm not him, though."
"Why did you jump out of bed?" She had started looking at the rest of him now, and Jackson wasn't quite sure whether he should be embarrassed or not.
"Because my Katherine keeps a loaded pistol in her desk drawer."
"You, or, he," she didn't sound all that convinced yet, "found it and threw it out."
"Why?"
"The same reason you jumped out of bed naked, I think."
"Well, considering how he treats you and Tristan, I could understand if you did."
She stood up then, and moved toward him.
"I, let me look you in the eyes?"
Jackson nodded, but inside he cringed at just how broken this Katherine felt to him. He held his hands down at his sides, and waited for her to come closer. When her beautiful green eyes stared into his, he resisted the urge to lean down and kiss away the confusion he saw there. She looked into his blue eyes for a long time, and finally she turned away.
"Katherine?"
"You aren't him. You look like him, sound like him, smell like him, but you aren't. How did you get here?"
"I'm not really sure. I went to sleep in my own bed and woke up here."
"Is he there?"
"I've no clue. But didn't you say you just saw him drive away?"
"Yes. He had his phone with him."
"And mine's still on my bedstand at home."
She nodded, pulled out her mobile phone and dialed Jackson's.
"Hello?"
Jackson had to sit down on the bed when he heard his own voice coming from the phone.
"Jackson, it's Katherine."
"I know that, I can see it on my phone," he said not even trying to hide his impatience.
"There's an attache case here, next to the front door. I wasn't sure if it was yours or your mother's."
"It must be mother's, you handed me mine just before I walked out the door. You know you could have just looked inside and found this out without calling me."
"You don't like for me to look inside your things."
"Don't get all passive agressive with me, Katherine. Anyway, I have my attache case, so I'm hanging up. Bye."
Katherine sighed as she ended the call on her end as well. "Bye." Then she glanced over at me. "He's still here. That's good."
Jackson raised an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't want your Katherine and Tristan to have to deal with him."
"She probably would shoot him."
"Not fatally, she'd be afraid of how it might affect you."
"You're probably right, but that would be enough to get the rest of the house up. He wouldn't get much of a chance if he were there."
She nodded. "What are we going to do?"
"No clue."
She sat down beside him and then after a few moments reached for her phone again.
"I'm calling Jeff to ask him to come over, you might want to put on some of my husband's clothes. Unless of course you want him to see you like that."
"Yeah, not really." He moved toward the dresser and searched for whatever clothes his alternate had in white. Underwear and socks were fairly easy. In the end he grabbed a white polo and black jeans. It would have to do. Once he was dressed he turned to Katherine.
"He never wears those. I'm surprised he didn't return them after I gave them to him."
"I'm glad he didn't. For someone that insists he doesn't have a life color he sure has a lot of grey."
"I think in his mind grey's a non-color."
"I can sort of see that. So is Jeff on his way? And are we the only ones in the house?"
"Yes, he should be here in a few minutes. Your mother and grandparents are in Takemizu, and Tristan is at school."
"Do they often leave you alone with him?"
"Not usually. But Jackson has been planning this business trip for months, and your mom wanted to treat your grandparents. She offered to take Tristan and I, but I didn't want to pull him out of school so we were going to leave for Three Lakes after he got home."
"He'll enjoy that."
"Well, I'm not sure if we're going now."
"Why? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your plans."
"I know. Jeff will help us sort it out."
"He's good at that sort of thing."
Having run out of things to say the two of them sat quietly on the bed. Jackson was surprised it wasn't awkward, but it felt just like many other times he and Katherine had enjoyed the silence and each other's presence. The change in universe didn't seem to matter.
Finally though, Katherine stood. "I should make some coffee and danish before Jeff gets here."
"Sounds good to me. Do you need any help, or should I just wait at the table?"
"I'm fine, but, well, thanks."
"Of course."
Once downstairs he was startled at how familiar and how different the house felt. It was basically the same house he'd grown up in, and his visions over the years had familiarized some of the differences. Being here, though, experiencing the house in reality, rather than that muted landscape in the vision, he could sense all the contrasts more sharply. The house was almost entirely painted in a non-descript beige. Except for some family portraits and a few personal items here and there, the house was hardly decorated. The funiture was expensive, but lacking in warmth or charm. The feelings of love, belonging, devotion, that had so permeated his house since it was built, had fled this place, except for a few pockets where his elders kept it alive.
Katherine placed coffee and danish in front of him, just as the doorbell rang.
"Oh that'll be Jeff, stay here, I'll get it."
"Kathy?" Jackson called to her just before she left the room. She glanced back to him. "Thank you."
Her face beamed. "You're welcome. I'll be back."
He nodded and watched her leave. He heard her answer the door, and caught bits and pieces of her conversation with Jeff as she led him to the dining room.
Jefferson Xenobia entered the room and took a long look at Jackson. "She says you have my scar."
Jackson nodded, "I'd show you but it's a bit difficult with clothes on."
"How did you get it?"
"Probably the same way you did. I got caught up in some barbed wire during a sledding accident."
"But you weren't headed toward the barbed wire, you knew it was there, you steered away from it."
"Knew it was.... No, I didn't! If I had any idea it was there, I would have taken us to a different hill. Do you really think I would do that to you and Zane. Jeff, You're my brothers for Almighty's sake!"
"You're right, Katherine, it's not him. I shouldn't say it, but do you think the Father would let us keep this one?"
Katherine softly chuckled and then went to get some food for herself and Jeff.
"I'd stay, Jeff, but I have my own family that would miss me."
"He never calls me Jeff. And what should I call you?"
"Well, my Jeff calls me Jax. Him and Zane are the only ones I let get away with it though."
"Thank God, you two get along in some universe. So, Jax, what are we going to do?"
"Well, I hate to be the one to mention it to a seminary student, but prayer wouldn't be amiss would it?"
"Hate to mention it huh? You enjoyed that, I could see it in your eyes. You're right though, we'll start when Katherine comes back."
"Start what when I come back?" She asked as she came through the swinging doors connecting the kitchen and dining room.
"Praying," Jackson answered as he stood and helped her with the dishes of food. "Since none of us quite know what to do, we thought perhaps we might ask."
She nodded and sat down in her chair. The three of them bowed their heads, and Jefferson and Jackson both started out, "Almighty Father."
"Sorry, you're the one studying to be a pastor, go ahead."
"And you're the head of the family. Please, I've waited for years to hear your voice in prayer."
Jackson gave in and began again.
"Almighty Father, creator of all, nothing is beyond your grasp, and nothing is too hard for you. I believe that I am here because of your will, and that you have a plan and a purpose for my being here. We are in the dark to this plan however, and we need your guidance to know what you would have us do. We do not want to take a step either to the right or to the left of the path you have for us. So, we ask that you instruct us, guide us, and shower us with your peace and love as we seek to do your will. In the son's precious name, Amen."
"Amen."
"Amen."
They were silent for a while. Communing in their thoughts to the God they'd just prayed to. After a few moments Jackson had the strongest urge.
"We should pack."
"You too?" Jeff asked.
Katherine looked up, "Well, I might as well make it unanimous. I can't shake the idea of getting mine and Tristan's luggage packed."
At that point Katherine's phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Kath, it's me, Zane."
"Oh hi, Zane, how are you?"
"I'm fine, but promise me you won't think I'm crazy."
"Why what's going on?"
"I just felt the spirit nudging me to call you and see if you wanted Cassie, and I to join you at the cabin Sunday morning. I'd say earlier, but Cassie has to work tomorrow."
"That's sounds great, Zane. Jeff decided to join us as well, so it works out fine."
"We'll see you there, then! Have a good day, okay?"
"I will, you too, Zane."
"I don't know about you two," Jeff whispered, "but that pretty much confirms it in my mind. I'll head home, pack some clothes, and then head on up to Three Lakes and get the cabin open and aired out. You two can get some things packed and drive up there after you pick up Tristan."
Jackson and Katherine nodded, and then walked Jeff to the door. Katherine handed her brother-in-law a key as he headed out. Once he was gone, Jackson turned to Katherine. "Where should we start?"
"We?"
"Did you think I was going to make you do it all on your own?"
"I, I'm used to that."
"Well, I'm not."
"Let's start in ou, in our room."
Jackson nodded and motioned for her to go first, and then followed her up the stairs. Once in the bedroom again, he helped her get clothes for the both of them for three days. She moved on to gathering toiletries, and Jackson began searching the room.
"What are you looking for?"
"My scriptures, I thought I put them next to the bed, but I can't find them."
There was a pause, and then he heard her voice again from the bathroom, "You are in the wrong bedroom, Jackson, but my scriptures are on my side of the bed if you want to pack them for me."
"I can't belive I forgot just like that. I guess it just felt like any other time we pack for a weekend getaway."
"Your Katherine is very lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one," I said as I moved to our ensuite bathroom.
"Perhaps you both are," she told me from the mirror.
"I wish I could get you away from him."
She gave a wan smile. "Let's focus on what we know we're supposed to do. Then we can wish about what we want."
He moved closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. "All right, but as long as I'm here I won't let him hurt you or Tristan. You have my word."
She gently patted the hand. "I know."
He was hit with a desire to pull her into his arms and hold her forever, and it scared him. She was so much like his Katherine, but was she his? He had no difficulty with the idea that he and the other Jackson were different, but Katherine was so much like his own it was harder. "Maybe I should go start on Tristan's things."
"That would help me a lot."
"Consider it done then," and he turned to leave.
"Don't forget his sketchbook."
"Which one?"
"I think he's working on the red one at the moment."
"Should I grab his charcoals and pastels as well?"
"Probably. If he doesn't have them with him."
"I'll look."
Jackson walked into his son's room and it was like a sea of familiarity. So much was the same, his easel, his pile of sketchbooks, art supplies. As usual his art area was immaculate, the rest of the room not so much. He bent down and started straightening. He wasn't sure why, just that it felt like something he could do for his son.
He was almost done when the one difference of the room hit him. There was nothing of himself. There were still lots of family photos and portraits, just like Tristan's room back home, but none with Jackson. He didn't even try to fight the tears. He swore to himself that, even if only for this weekend, Tristan would have the father he was missing.
He started pulling out clothes when Katherine walked in. She took a look around and smiled. "I'll make sure he knows who cleaned his room for him."
"It's not the only thing I'm going to do for him this weekend."
"It's not your fault."
"No, but I'm his father too, and I'll do everything I can for him, even if it can never be enough."
She didn't say anything to that, just finished helping him back Tristan's things.
When they had the car loaded they sat in the living room and talked while they waited until it was time to pick their son up. Mostly Katherine asked questions about his life, about the other Katherine. Jackson tried not to think about what might have happened upstairs.
Finally, the clock struck half-past two, and Katherine stood up. "You'll need to lay down in the back seat until we get out of town."
"I figured as much. It's all right, it would make sense that Tristan would be riding up front anyway."
She nodded and grabbed her purse, sitting next to the attache case beside the door. "Let's go."
He stood and moved into the garage. When Katherine opened the mini-van door, he slid in and tried to make himself comfortable. It wasn't easy, the seatbelts kept digging into his back and butt. He heard Katherine get in and get settled.
"Are you all right back there?"
"I'm fine for now. It's not the most comfortable, but I'll make it until we get out of town."
She nodded, and got the car in motion. She was very focused on her surroundings until they left the neighborhood.
"I'm going to try to explain things to Tristan before we get to the car, but I'm not sure how well it will go. He, well, he isn't his father's favorite fan."
"I can understand. I'll try not to rush things."
"Well, if you gain his trust, you'll probably have a shadow the whole weekend."
They talked a little more as they made their way to the school. They had arranged the luggage so that it hid the backseat from outside view, no one would know he was hiding in there, unless they were in the car.
"I'll be back in about ten, or fifteen minutes. I'll crack the window."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
He thought about how much freer she seemed the longer they were together. Much more like his Katherine back home. That brought home something a bit more worrisome, he hadn't really thought about his Katherine the last few hours, except if she brought her up. He supposed rationally it made sense. It would be hard to miss someone who as far as your senses were concerned was right there, but he wondered if he was just rationalizing it away.
He tried to imagine what his own Katherine would be doing right now. She'd still be at work, so he pictured her at her desk, designing graphics on her computer. She said she'd been working on a new logo for one of his mother's magazines, but he couldn't remember which one at the moment. Not that it mattered his mind focused more on her than what she was doing. He visualized the fall of her hair, the gentle movements of her wrist, the curve of her back. Now he could see the jeans she was wearing and the way they hugged her backside, and it made him smile until he realized, Katherine didn't wear jeans to the office. He was thinking of this Katherine again.
He frowned and shifted as the seatbelt dug into his back again, and groaned when he realized his pants were tighter from his fantasies. He was going to need a cold shower when he got to the cabin at this point.
"So, just remember, he's your father, but he's not the father you're used to. Give him a chance?"
"Okay, Mom," Tristan's voice sounded dubious.
He could see Katherine at the passenger door, and saw her open it. He flashed a foolish smile to his son as he climbed in, and winked at him.
Tristan blinked and then nodded before he turned forward in the seat and put his belt on. He sat rimrod straight, with his hands at his side.
Katherine got back in next, and after she had her belt securred pulled out of the school parking lot. The ride was very quiet for several minutes until Tristan turned his head toward the back seat.
"What do I call you?"
"Well, I would think Jackson, or Dad. Whichever you feel more comfortable with. Mr. Xenobia might be a little much."
"Mr. Jackson," he said firmly.
"That's fine. What should I call you?"
He tilted his head. He hadn't thought about that. "I guess you can call me Tristan."
"Okay, if I forget and call you son, you remind me alright?"
"Alright."
At that point Tristan asked if he could listen to a CD, Kristin nodded, and the boy pulled it out of the console and popped it into the player. Soon very familiar music was filling the mini-van. Jackson recognized it immediately as Tristan's favorite. Not quite into bands and the like yet, it was a children's mix of several of the popular songs from a few years ago.
"Send me there, I wanna go. Send me there!" Tristan began to sing along.
"I'll send you there. We'll go together. I'll send you there!" Jackson joined in, like he usually did.
Tristan stopped singing and looked toward the back seat again.
"Should I stop?" Jackson asked the serious young man staring at him. "I know I sing like someone stepped on a cat in heat."
"No, it's okay. I just didn't know you knew the words." He turned back around and began to sing again. Katherine gave an exaggerated sigh of acceptance.
Once they were out of town, Katherine pulled over, Jackson slipped out, they fixed the luggage so Tristan could sit comfortably, and once everyone was in place they made their way on to the cabin.
"Are you excited to see Lake Arrowhead again?"
"Lake Arrowhead? I thought we were going to the new cabin on Lake Bearclaw?"
"We are."
"Wait, what new cabin?"
"HE bought it six months ago. He went there once for some sort of business meeting with a client. He hasn't been back since that I know of. I figured we should open it up again before winter hits, and see if there's anything that needs to be done before the snows come."
"Nothing happened to the other cabin did it?"
"No, honestly, I have no clue why he bought it. He only seems to have used it once."
"It's cause HE likes to collect things, but once he has them he doesn't care anymore."
"Well, I haven't been to Lake Bearclaw in twenty years. I bet it'll be great." Jackson said trying to lighten the mood.
"I hear they have a waterfall there. I can't wait to sketch it!"
"I've been there, it's beautiful. The foam where the cascade crashes against the rocks, it's almost like cotton balls or whipped cream when you're looking from the top."
"Cool! Mr. Jackson?"
"Yes, Tristan?"
"Do *you* have a life color."
"Yes, I do. I chose white when I was just about your age. I wanted to be like your grandpa."
"Grandpa is so cool! I wish he was home more. Did he ever turn invisible for you?"
"Did more than that, he showed me how to do it."
Tristan's little mouth dropped wide.
"Can you show me?"
"Not yet, I'm afraid. You have to be a little older. But he also showed me how to build a birdhouse, when I was your age. Has he taught you that?"
"No, maybe you can?"
"Sounds great. How about tomorrow after breakfast?"
"Okay!"
The sun was starting to set when they approached the cabin. Jeff stepped out onto the porch, to welcome them.
"UNCLE JEFF!" Tristan yelled and ran up to get a hug.
"Hey squirt!" Jeff said as he wrapped his arm around his nephew. "So what do you think of this guy huh?" He shot his thumb toward Jackson as he asked.
"He seems okay so far. A lot better than the other one."
"I think so too. But you can talk to me about it later. Right now, dinner's on the table so go wash your hands."
"Where's the bathroom?"
"Go to the hall, it's the third door on the right."
Tristan rushed into the house, as Katherine and Jackson stepped onto the porch.
"Any troubles, Jeff?" Katherine asked.
"None at all. The place seems to be in pretty good shape. Whoever owned it before kept it in good shape. We'll want to fix the pipes so they don't burst when things start to freeze, but other than that I don't see any issues."
"Good. What's for dinner?"
"Hobo stew and chef's salad."
"Sounds delicious."
"It should be. It's Grandpa Rafe's recipe."
They all stepped into the house, and got ready for dinner. To Jackson, the dinner seemed subdued. Of course, he was used to having at least six people at the dinner table. Tristan was quite animated though, talking about school, and all his plans for the weekend. Jeff told them humorous stories from seminary. Katherine and Jackson played the appreciative audience. After the meal, Jeff took them through the cabin.
"He obviously didn't plan on this replacing the family cabin on arrowhead. There's only two rooms. There's a King size bed in one, and one set of bunkbeds in the other."
"Can I have the top bunk, Uncle Jeff? Please?" Tristan was obviously oblivious to the issues surrounding the beds.
"Sure, kiddo. Why don't you go in there now, and figure out where you want to stow your gear?"
"Okay."
When he was gone, Jackson looked over at Jeff. "It's okay, I'll take the couch."
"No, you're a guest. I'll take the couch."
"You're both being ridiculous."
The men glanced over at her. She turned her glance to Jackson. "My husband and I share a king size bed without touching every night. Why should anyone sleep on the couch."
Jeff looked back and forth between the two of them, before he finally just nodded and went in to check on Tristan.
"Are you sure?" Jackson asked.
"I'm sure. I trust you."
Jackson nodded, and then oppened the door to the other bedroom. Turning on the lights he saw a sleigh bed made of mahogany. The comforter was a two tone checkered pattern with black embroidered bears, bison, and elk. On the opposite wall directly in front of the bed was a mahogany chest of drawers, flanked by two dressers. Framed landscapes lined the walls. Jackson saw two doors. One he guessed led to an ensuite bathroom, the other went outside onto a balcony. Katherine silently slid toward the balcony door, and opening it up glanced outside.
"A hot tub."
"Sounds heavenly."
She nodded, "Perhaps later."
"I'll bring our things in."
She just nodded and started opening out the drawers.
Once everyone was unpacked, they met in the family room and popped corn in the fireplace. Tristan so animated earlier, fell asleep against Jeff who carried him to bed. Jackson frowned as he watched them.
"What's wrong?" the wariness was back in her voice.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing really. A touch of jealousy I think. Silly really."
"Jealous of Jeff?"
Jackson caught something in her tone and turned toward her. "Just a bit. I'm used to him falling asleep on me. That's all. It's not like how HE feels."
"How do you know?"
"I told you about the visions. The most real thing in them is HIS feelings and thoughts. I know exactly how he feels about each and every one of you. And I know that's not how I feel."
She nodded gave him a thoughtful smile. "I think I'm going to head to bed too. If I'm making breakfast for this crew, I'm going to need some sleep."
"Good night, lov, Katherine. Sleep well."
"You too." She got up, said her goodnights to Jeff as they passed in the hall and then slipped into the bedroom. He was watching her as the door shut closed but he couldn't pull his eyes away.
"Jax?"
"Huh? Oh sorry Jeff, I was thinking."
"Look if you want, I can still sleep on the couch."
"And have her furious at us tomorrow? She's cooking our breakfast remember. No, it's all right. I should be able to control myself for a couple of nights."
"Okay."
"Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"Confession is good for the soul and all that, right?"
"Done the right way, yeah. What's up?"
"Well, I was watching you put Tristan to bed, and I felt jealous. It worried Katherine. And honestly it's starting to worry me. It's not the kind of jealousy HE feels, but,"
"But?"
"What if it's just the beginning? Jeff, the last thing in the world I want to be is like him. He's a conscienceless bastard who doesn't care about anyone other than himself. I don't want to be that way."
"You can't."
"What do you mean, I can't? HE did. There were times, especially when I was younger, but even now, where I could understand what he was feeling and why. I could see myself feeling the same way, it scares the shit out of me, Jeff."
"Yes, I'm sure it does, Jax, and you always have to be careful about your emotions and what they lead you to do. But putting all the other similarities and differences between you aside, there is one major difference between you and him that will keep you safe."
"What is that?"
"You serve different masters. Like you said, he doesn't have a conscience. You do, and you have the Spirit inside you. You won't fall to where he is, brother. You made the choices he feared."
Jackson sat quietly as he thought about that. Jeff sat with him as the fire slowly died. About half an hour later, Jeff stood up. "I'm going to bed. I'll be praying that we can figure out the next step."
"Me too." Jackson said. He smothered the rest of the fire, and moved toward the bedroom.
He opened the door careful not to make a lot of noise. He changed into pajamas that she had laid out on the bed. He brushed his teeth, and then slipped under the covers.
It was all he could do not to cuddle up against her. Everything about her was achingly familiar, from the shape of her body beneath the covers to the scent of her hair as it wafted over to his side of the bed. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, kiss her till she asked for more. But would that be cheating on his wife? And would she be cheating on her husband? What rules applied in a situation like this?
So he prayed. Not formulaic phrases, but an honest heart to heart with his God. He kept praying until he fell asleep. When dreams came he was with his wife in the hotel they'd had their honeymoon in. They did all the things he longed to do, and he woke up with a smile on his face.