Blood/Water: Outtakes

[laurie_bunter]

Hmm. I haven't quite got my act together this week, my mind has been filtering a lot of junk lately. And since I hate to disappoint friends and lurkers, especially since I promised I would upload chapters of Blood/Water every week... *sweat drop* Here, have some outtakes instead. I hope they keep you from biting off my head

Comments

[adam_epp]

Yep, I disagree about your omissions...which you may have guessed already since I told you about how I think it's bullshit to take away character development. I always view character development as the most important aspect in a story. But, hey, I can see why you'd cut these out, though, in support of character development, I think adding depth to characters makes the detecting more interesting and gripping, since why should I care if the case is solved if I don't care too much about the characters involved in the case?

Hmm?

Anyway, I like the first cut scene mainly because I find it interesting how Ichigo thunders at Orihime for taking one look at Rukia and deciding she's innocent. Isn't that exactly how Ichigo determines Rukia's innocence in the first chapter? Hahaha.

The tape recorder scenes, in my opinion, should have been kept since they involve Rukia and give her some backstory (which I think she should have because she's the freaking victim/ one of the main characters), in addition to giving readers some greater understanding as to why Ichigo would be motivated to prove she committed no crime. I do not view this as unnecessary in any way. Although, I would say you didn't really need to show Keigo and Chizuru booting Ichigo out of the office.

Onwards to the Shunsui/ Nanao scene, which is kind of distracting, yes, but it would have been good for you to keep it because it provides some extra closure on the two. Like, they do almost die in Chapter Nine (or whenever that was).

Well, these were fun to read, too, and it was fun to express my opinion. I point out some hiccups below, in parting:

For instance, there was this boy named Ichimaru would liked to pull my pigtails.

Change the "would" to "who/whom" (I never can remember which is supposed to be used).

That didn’t seem quite right, since he was the one who took a shot...

I think saying that Shunsui took a "bullet" would sound better, since this sounds like Shunsui just had a drink. Eh, maybe he did down a shot, in addition to being shot...

Maybe I should told that man to aim at your mouth instead.

You're missing a "have" after "should."

[laurie_bunter]

A lot of hardcore mystery fans would disagree with you about character development not being necessary -- gasp! -- as long as the case is solved. I've never been one for the "pure puzzle" type of mystery but yeah they do exist.

The scene where Ichigo thunders at Orihime is actually a continuation of my homage to Strong Poison, because in that book, Lord Peter actually knows the woman who gives the "hung jury" vote. But I cut it out because... I cut it out. Hmm.

So you think I should keep the tape recorder scenes? More hmm. Lots of other people (in the comments below) seem to agree with you. Do you think it's too late to add them on at this point? I mean, the fic's been up for weeks. Of course I could always rearrange chapters over at the Great Cesspool and MediaMiner. It seems like such a shame to confuse people, though. Hmm. Or do you think a note on the latest chapters mentioning the edits should suffice?

More hmm.

Thanks for the quick eye out for mistakes. I did change "shot" to "bullet" XD Yes! Knowing Shunsui, in thisuniverse he's probably got a stainless steel whiskey flask on him, in true gumshoe fashion.

[adam_epp]

Hmm, no character development makes it sound boring. I'm much more interested by character motives than scanning the text for that one clue. Also, what about unsolved mysteries? Actually, I think real cases, like that of Jack the Ripper, are more intriguing because there isn't really an answer. Much more mysterious. And realistic.

Hmm.

I think what I was driving at before was that you should keep the tape recorder scenes. Though, it sure would be a hassle for you to insert them at Fanfiction.net, considering that you have separate chapters for interludes.

Hmm hmm. Hmm.