Feeling better already...
What they say is true...sometimes telling people how you are feeling is the best way to get over it. Just sharing my depression, and the old temptations cropping up, has lifted a little bit of the funk that was hanging over me. And it has also made me realize some of the sources of my recent instability.
I love my friends, and if something in their life is going poorly, I have a tendency to absorb all of the negative emotions associated with it. A lot of the time, I end up feeling as though it is actually happening to ME as well. Generally, I try to quash these feelings, since my rational mind deems it to be a little selfish to be that torn up about something that doesn't really have anything to do with me. In the past month or so, many of my friends have been having problems with relationships and work. I think that has all piled up, in addition to the fact that my own job is instable now as well.
By instable, I don't mean in jeopardy. I feel that I will always have a place in the company somewhere, and it will probably be the one I have now. But we don't have a VP for our department yet, since July, and it is really starting to wear on me. People that should know better are bending rules, breaking some even, because there isn't anyone to really reprimand them. Others are in the same boat as I am, working hard, but without a true direction. Without someone to reward me, even with just a pat on the head (figuratively), I find I am less satisfied at work. Couple that with the annoyance at incompetence that is not being addressed (again, no VP to address it) and the job that I have loved is starting to become a job I tolerate.
Back on the friend note, I love to be an understanding ear to my friends, so PLEASE do not feel as though you are causing anything I have mentioned here. It is my own stress disorder that warps my emotions, and helping others deal with their issues is something I feel good about. Even if the only help I give is to hold your hand for a bit, or watch a crying movie.
In any case, I wanted to let folks know that some of my internal pressure has been released, and I am no longer quite so down. I held it in for too long, and now that I let some of it out, it is easier to handle.
I love you all, and thank you so much for your existence.
I love my friends, and if something in their life is going poorly, I have a tendency to absorb all of the negative emotions associated with it. A lot of the time, I end up feeling as though it is actually happening to ME as well. Generally, I try to quash these feelings, since my rational mind deems it to be a little selfish to be that torn up about something that doesn't really have anything to do with me. In the past month or so, many of my friends have been having problems with relationships and work. I think that has all piled up, in addition to the fact that my own job is instable now as well.
By instable, I don't mean in jeopardy. I feel that I will always have a place in the company somewhere, and it will probably be the one I have now. But we don't have a VP for our department yet, since July, and it is really starting to wear on me. People that should know better are bending rules, breaking some even, because there isn't anyone to really reprimand them. Others are in the same boat as I am, working hard, but without a true direction. Without someone to reward me, even with just a pat on the head (figuratively), I find I am less satisfied at work. Couple that with the annoyance at incompetence that is not being addressed (again, no VP to address it) and the job that I have loved is starting to become a job I tolerate.
Back on the friend note, I love to be an understanding ear to my friends, so PLEASE do not feel as though you are causing anything I have mentioned here. It is my own stress disorder that warps my emotions, and helping others deal with their issues is something I feel good about. Even if the only help I give is to hold your hand for a bit, or watch a crying movie.
In any case, I wanted to let folks know that some of my internal pressure has been released, and I am no longer quite so down. I held it in for too long, and now that I let some of it out, it is easier to handle.
I love you all, and thank you so much for your existence.