Re-setting
Anyone who knows me knows that this year has brought some challenges with decisions I've made about my career, that uh, less-than-fun break-up I went through earlier this summer, as well as a few questions I've had to ask about certain people in my life. I was in a funk for this past summer, and within the past month I've been crawling out of it. Lately, though feeling better, I've been examining my life from every possible angle- which is not always a fun process.
Basically, I've come to the conclusion that it's time I refer to one of my all time favorite quotes from the song "Change" by Blind Melon, "when life is hard, you have to change." I'm damn proud of who I've been the past couple of years. I feel as though I've grown leaps and bounds from a half a decade ago. I pushed myself to be a more confident, fearless, and thoughtful woman who came out of some very difficult situations in one piece. I'm damn proud of that, and nobody can ever take those accomplishments away from me. I made decisions in dire hours that I'm convinced saved my life, and just as importantly, my soul. I do not want to change any of those good traits. However, I think the way I go about being that person has to change.
I was still a teenager when I set ground rules. They were good rules, but I feel like they don't apply to the situations I'm in nowadays. Hell, I'm a 25 year old woman now. 25! Of course I've grown out of decisions I made years ago. Something would be wrong if the rules I set at 19 still applied. The 'rules' that I'm referring to are more or less ideas of how I wanted my life to- no, not wanted...how I needed my life to be. There is a lot of personal reasons behind why,...just trust if you don't know them. The ideas were limits I set, lack of boundaries I set, people that I'd allow myself to get close to, who I wanted to date. vs. who I did not find suitable. Again, I don't think I've made too many mistakes- I just think sometime in 2008 (actually right when the clock struck midnight) the game of life changed on me and I'm in major need of an update. People are different as you get older. You change. Dating changes. Your priorities change. You look at everyday scenes of your life with a sharper eye.
I like who I am. I think the people in my life like who I am. But, it is time I redefine some values, priorities, friends, purposes...what I want out of life. This is all a good thing and I look forward to the outcome.
Basically, I've come to the conclusion that it's time I refer to one of my all time favorite quotes from the song "Change" by Blind Melon, "when life is hard, you have to change." I'm damn proud of who I've been the past couple of years. I feel as though I've grown leaps and bounds from a half a decade ago. I pushed myself to be a more confident, fearless, and thoughtful woman who came out of some very difficult situations in one piece. I'm damn proud of that, and nobody can ever take those accomplishments away from me. I made decisions in dire hours that I'm convinced saved my life, and just as importantly, my soul. I do not want to change any of those good traits. However, I think the way I go about being that person has to change.
I was still a teenager when I set ground rules. They were good rules, but I feel like they don't apply to the situations I'm in nowadays. Hell, I'm a 25 year old woman now. 25! Of course I've grown out of decisions I made years ago. Something would be wrong if the rules I set at 19 still applied. The 'rules' that I'm referring to are more or less ideas of how I wanted my life to- no, not wanted...how I needed my life to be. There is a lot of personal reasons behind why,...just trust if you don't know them. The ideas were limits I set, lack of boundaries I set, people that I'd allow myself to get close to, who I wanted to date. vs. who I did not find suitable. Again, I don't think I've made too many mistakes- I just think sometime in 2008 (actually right when the clock struck midnight) the game of life changed on me and I'm in major need of an update. People are different as you get older. You change. Dating changes. Your priorities change. You look at everyday scenes of your life with a sharper eye.
I like who I am. I think the people in my life like who I am. But, it is time I redefine some values, priorities, friends, purposes...what I want out of life. This is all a good thing and I look forward to the outcome.