Aaaah
I just ran a search through my email. Searched for messages I HAD have for one reason or another, messages from my dad or sisters with info I need (such as new phone numbers) and sorted them into subfolders.
Then I hit Select All on everything left in the InBox, and hit Delete. Over 4,000 messages, gone. Poof. I've been promising myself I'd get them read, and it just isn't going to happen. I refuse to stress over email anymore, that's just dumb.