oh high school...
In the process of packing tonight i stumbled across an old scrapbook a friend made for me in highschool when i was elected presidnet of our youth group. aside from the pictures and such, there were a lot of things people had written for me over the year. A lot of them were bs - i wasn't really friends with them, but its high school and people just didn't know to keep their mouth shut instead of lying about how 'youre my best friend' and crap. but whatever, thats not what this is about. In the end, i just find that amusing more than anything :)
whats weird is the stuff that was true. some of it also doesn't bother me - we've drifted apart, no big deal, it happens. But what was really shockingly upsetting was reading something from an old friend i was incredibly close with. Long story short, i still don't know why he ended our friendship...never got in a fight, and he never gave a reason, just said that nothing was wrong at all, why did i think he was upset?? (well, for starters, i thought that because he hadn't spoken to me in weeks!) we were co-presidents and never spoke for the rest of our term, and then we managed to not speak to each other when we were in the same prom group! it was absurd, and there was nothing i could do about it.
Anyway, reading his notes was really upsetting - they were crazy long and full of inside jokes and talked about how he is overprotective because he loves me so much and thinks of me as his little sister, yadda yadda wonderful stuff like that. I came scarily close to crying, especially scarily because i really thought i had moved well beyond all his crap. It made me realize how much i used to care for him, and probably in some strange way still do. It made realize how angry i still was that he threw out 3 years of being best friends for 'nothing'. And it made me realize that i kinda want to call him and see him when i'm home at the end of may...just to catch up and say hi. (except he goes to school in CA, so he wont be home yet)
turns out, neither of the two akward reunions i kinda wanted to have will be home - both schools graduate mid-June...i'll be living in NJ by then.
oh well, i think thats probably for the better.
now i'm tired and its time for bed - senior party is tomorrow night and i still have to figure out what i'm wearing! :-D
whats weird is the stuff that was true. some of it also doesn't bother me - we've drifted apart, no big deal, it happens. But what was really shockingly upsetting was reading something from an old friend i was incredibly close with. Long story short, i still don't know why he ended our friendship...never got in a fight, and he never gave a reason, just said that nothing was wrong at all, why did i think he was upset?? (well, for starters, i thought that because he hadn't spoken to me in weeks!) we were co-presidents and never spoke for the rest of our term, and then we managed to not speak to each other when we were in the same prom group! it was absurd, and there was nothing i could do about it.
Anyway, reading his notes was really upsetting - they were crazy long and full of inside jokes and talked about how he is overprotective because he loves me so much and thinks of me as his little sister, yadda yadda wonderful stuff like that. I came scarily close to crying, especially scarily because i really thought i had moved well beyond all his crap. It made me realize how much i used to care for him, and probably in some strange way still do. It made realize how angry i still was that he threw out 3 years of being best friends for 'nothing'. And it made me realize that i kinda want to call him and see him when i'm home at the end of may...just to catch up and say hi. (except he goes to school in CA, so he wont be home yet)
turns out, neither of the two akward reunions i kinda wanted to have will be home - both schools graduate mid-June...i'll be living in NJ by then.
oh well, i think thats probably for the better.
now i'm tired and its time for bed - senior party is tomorrow night and i still have to figure out what i'm wearing! :-D