Feb 27, 2008 02:06
Man, I haven't posted in this thing for a really long time. Life has been pretty alright I guess. I went up north for a week, recently. It was nice...I always like going up there to hang out, but Juston's family kind of drives me crazy. His mom is really nice, but his dad hates me- which is why I never want to go up there. He literally said 3 words to me the entire time I was there. I wish I was closer to his family, especially since he's so close to mine. But yeah...it was a good time. Juston got drunk, so that was pretty funny.
Actually, I said my life was alright- that's a complete lie. Realistically it's a huge wreck. I lost my job at Swatch. I feel like complete shit about this. I'm so embarrassed, and I know I have no reason to be, but I still am. It was completely out of my control. The store has been so dead, we were still beating our last year's numbers, but it wasn't enough for me. My district manager was a mess when he had to let me go, but it was really out of his control. I can't remember the last time I cried like that. It just happened on Friday and I've cried everyday since. I've applied for about 50 jobs between Tampa and Orlando, only about 3 of which I'd actually be excited for. I haven't heard anything back yet, except for Nordstroms...which is probably one of my least favorite options. I feel like such a loser not having a job. Luckily I'm getting two weeks severance, but still...it's only two weeks. Not working is killing me, I've never been out of a job for more than a week or so since I was 14, so this is a huge change for me. I don't even know what to do with my life right now. I'm looking at classes to go back to school for Marine Biology, but I don't know where I'll find time for that, since I do need a full-time job. I feel like someone died, or I just got dumped, it's ridiculous. I devoted nearly three years to that company and moved to a city I'm not even that fond of for this company- and this is what I get. I'm going to be so pissed if I end up working in Orlando and having to commute there everyday. I feel like I wasted years of my life. I put everything into that job. When they needed me at another store, I went-with no notice. They needed me, and I'd be on a plane the next day. I worked my ass off for them, not just at my store, but at about 5 other stores over the years- and this is what I get. Nothing. I've seen them do this to so many other managers, but I didn't really expect it to happen to me. It really feels like a bitter abusive relationship, where you give someone your all and they just use you up and leave you feeling empty and abused. I feel bad for my employees too- they're all sad and call me almost everyday, and it really breaks my heart. Most of them will be leaving, I just wish I could make things better for them.
So what now? 10 years retail experience and now I have nothing... I filed unemployment, which made me feel like a loser. I'm losing my benefits in a few weeks, which sucks since I have pills and whatnot that I need insurance for. My 25th birthday is coming up in April. I'm feeling old. If I don't have a job by then, I'll probably jump off a bridge. I'll be god damned if I'm 25, unmarried, and not employed.
I guess I'm done venting, I just needed to get that all out. I'm trying to stay positive, I think that will only last a few more days. So, hopefully someone calls me soon.
:/