just an fyi

Apr 25, 2005 22:46

apparently people don't know this- I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM. WHEN I GET DEPRESSED, I STOP EATING. now you know.

more on my parents: I fought with them again, over the whole lunch/picking me up thing. What my issue is is that since i was 8 years old ive been told to fend for myself because my parents have to work. I've done it pretty much without complaint, even though i see other kids who have parents who basically wait on them hand and foot. I had to either make my lunch or my parents would give me money for it, even though sometimes they forget to give me money and i have to buy it myself... At times Im glad Ive been taught to fend for myself because it makes me seem "independant" but other times I just want someone to do stuff for me... it isnt that im lazy, its that i once again have that jealousy issue where i see everyone else with something and i want it too... like a car, or a good parent...

and i suppose im being unfair calling them bad parents, they aren't bad, they have their good moments too, but then theres shit like this, where my dad comes downstairs and blames me for him and my mom fighting again even though the tension has been thick for like, 2 weeks now.. he tells me that he doesnt want to hear any more of this bullshit about picking me up when he told me he could, and nothing about bringing me dinner (when I've been after school for 5 hours and am starving, mind you).

I'd also like to reiterate that i hate crying. It is wet, and messy, and makes everyone all blotchy and red.

Id also like to say that I am growing quite tired of drama.. i dont know whether its the monotany, or the fact that we all are putting so much effort in and still it seems like we have everything to do and less than 3 weeks to do it in..

oh yeah and i need to get a ride to prom from someone, because my mother decided she was going to go play bunco on friday and needs the car. theres a soilwork concert on saturday, but seeing as i have further pissed off the parentals i doubt they will let me drive to hartford or drive me there so fat chance on that.

My mother should have gotten an abortion.
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