Come real
I'm sitting in my living room in only my underwear but I'm still sweating. It's not eight in the morning and I'm suffocating already. Except I'm not really suffocating, but my poor fish are. The water in the tanks is getting so hot it's not even registering on the thermometer meaning it's at least ninety degrees in water meant to hover around 78. 82 tops. Out of 28 neons I gave Mickey for his birthday, 22 lived past the first two weeks. Now there are six. Most of them have died in the past two days despite us throwing in trays of ice and directing fans on the water's surface. This morning I read you can help the heat by putting in an airstone too so I did that and it seems to help. But really there's nothing to do.
I still feel fucking awful. Last night he said he wanted to cry when we had to take out three or four more. I felt sick to my stomach, terrible, watching him watch them gasp and flounder around. Then we went to bed and I had nightmares about dying animals. I dreamed I went to a pet store with my sister and picked out a beautiful yellow bird. As we left the store my sister looked at the bird, which was getting small and cold in my hand, and she asked me why I keep torturing animals by taking them home. I started to cry. I also cupped my hands around the bird, keeping it warm, breathing hot air on it. Its feathers got bright and fluffy again but I didn't know what else to do, how to keep it alive past that moment.
I'm really sad. Besides watching our little pets suffer I hate to see Mike sad. He's so upset about it. I am sick to my stomach seeing him like this.
I still feel fucking awful. Last night he said he wanted to cry when we had to take out three or four more. I felt sick to my stomach, terrible, watching him watch them gasp and flounder around. Then we went to bed and I had nightmares about dying animals. I dreamed I went to a pet store with my sister and picked out a beautiful yellow bird. As we left the store my sister looked at the bird, which was getting small and cold in my hand, and she asked me why I keep torturing animals by taking them home. I started to cry. I also cupped my hands around the bird, keeping it warm, breathing hot air on it. Its feathers got bright and fluffy again but I didn't know what else to do, how to keep it alive past that moment.
I'm really sad. Besides watching our little pets suffer I hate to see Mike sad. He's so upset about it. I am sick to my stomach seeing him like this.