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May 03, 2005 16:57

Today we salute you: Stressed out college student during exam week. As you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on Starbucks and aderol, you think to yourself, am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life? The distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. By now you know exactly what everyone is doing because you have checked your buddy list 800 times. Summer break is just days away, and your prozac prescription will be in tomorrow. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light after that last exam, because for most of us summer will be spent in rehab.
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