A Match Made in High School by Kristin Walker
Dear Roz,
Lots of my friends have parents who are divorced, which is awful, but I seem to have the opposite problem. My parents act like they're in a perpetual state of puppy love and they have no concept of modesty when it comes to PDAs. They'll kiss at the grocery store or nuzzle each other at the movies. My dad even groped my mom right at the dinner table. Can you believe that? Needless to say, I lost my appetite. Frankly, I'm surprised I didn't yak all over the table. Now I'm not saying that parental PDAs are nearly as bad as your parents getting divorced, but it's totally embarrassing nonetheless. And gross. So how should I deal with it?
Puking from Parental PDAs
Dear Puking,
Sure parental-PDAs are nowhere near a divorce-level catastrophe, but I don’t discriminate against little problems. Besides, almost losing your dinner all over the table constitutes a semi-emergency.
You could take a picture while they’re kissing. And threaten to post it on your blog. Sadly, they might actually like that.
Have you considered a spray bottle full of water? I’ve used one to train my cat not to jump up on the kitchen counter while I cook.
A shock collar might be a little extreme, though.
And there’s always talking. “Hey mom, hey dad. I understand you love each other, and I’m grateful for that, but could you please do that in your room? And close the door behind you.”
Unfortunately, we can’t choose our parents. Shakespeare said, Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.
I hope you turn eighteen soon!
Roz
Letter courtesy of Kristin Walker, author of the hilarious and heartfelt YA novel, A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I love, love, love this book!
About A Match Made in High School
When a mandatory marriage education course forces Fiona to “try the knot” with super-jock Todd Harding, she’s convinced life could not possibly get any worse. Until moments later, when her long-time crush is paired with her arch-enemy (otherwise known as Todd’s obscenely hot, slightly sadistic girlfriend). But that’s nothing compared to her best friend’s fate - a year with the very shy, very goofy, very big Johnny Mercer.
A series of hilarious pranks and misunderstandings leave Fiona wondering: is there something her supposed “best friend” hasn’t told her? Could there be more to Johnny Mercer than a deep voice and an awesome music collection? And perhaps most intriguing of all, is it possible that Todd Harding could actually have a heart - and a brain - beneath his pretty-boy exterior?
About Kristin Walker
Kristin Walker grew up roaming the Pennsylvania countryside. She finally landed at Penn State, where she earned a BA in Theatre Arts. In addition to being actor, Kristin was many things on her way to becoming an author, such as a lifeguard, a nanny, a beginning ballroom dance instructor, a library circulation clerk, and very nearly a nurse. A Match Made in High School (Razorbill/Penguin Group) is her first novel. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Ladybug, Wee Ones, and two Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Kristin lives in a Chicago suburb with her husband and three sons.