its over...
i dont think my feelings have ever been this raw or exposed. im so sad, devastated, and broken-hearted, and i have no idea why after 3 years of wanting to graduate, i am this hesitant to move on. i bolted out of school this afternoon, but when i was driving off, i started to regret leaving so quickly. i wish i could have stood around for hours talking to everyone i knew, but in my heart i couldnt bring myself to come face to face with some of the people i know ill never see again. and i cried.
i cried like a baby, and the tears were so pure, so helpless. i dont want to grow up. things are so good right now, and its hard to try to close up that chapter when i have so many loose strings. but im proud that i made an extra effort to solve problems that needed to be addressed by today, and my heart hurts a lot less because of that. as i look back, i know ive changed so much...changed tastes, changed friends, changed morals, changed outlooks on life. all for the better, and all completely worth it. ive never learned so much from other people as i did this year...and i know for sure that they have no idea how much theyve touched my life.
i will remember these things always and forever. and consequently, i think my biggest fear right now is forgetting, and even more so, being forgotten.
my favorite 10 (or so) moments of this year (in some sort of chronological order)...
1. riding to the grayson football game with emi, eating at wendys, getting rained on, and making one of the best friends ive ever had.
2. the whole miss collins hill experience was well worth it. i gained more confidence than i realized at first.
3. being accepted into UGA, and deciding to room with anna arp...knowing that my future is going to be exactly as i have dreamed for the last 17 years of my life.
4. meeting sebastian, figuring out my strengths and weaknesses, standing up for myself, and hitting rock bottom. and now, i hope that both he and jenny are happy, and that they know that im sorry that those months were hell for all of us.
5. homecoming with phillip, emi, and mary...one of the best nights of first semester.
6. being asked to lead the girls retreat was a blessing. i learned so much about myself, the Lord's plan for my life, and the beauty of the girls around me...especially kelly
7. being a captain for swim team, getting to hang out with christina, and being CRAZY with all the guys and girls. ill never forget the augusta meet.
8. learning what i deserve when it comes to guys...and going after what i wanted.
9. going to the football, basketball, and baseball games with all my girls, driving to far away places with emily and stephanie, getting my 52 from quiktrip, and supporting the teams
10. slip-n-slide, volleyball, and just getting to know michael, clay, zach, ashley, mindy, and courtney...being crazy with everyone.
11. prom night with tyler and others. dressing up, dinner, pictures, and the afterparty...everythign was a blast
12. senior week, powderpuff, and just knowing that our class could do whatever we wanted. and kicking some girls' ass in the game... :)
13. just yearbook in general...those girls have become some of the people i trust the most, laugh with the hardest, and feel most comfortable around. each of of you will always hold a special place in my heart--i would not have made it through senior year without you by my side. we coached each other through drama, troubled friendships, and broken hearts, and my life wouldnt be complete or interesting if not for you all. i love you more than you know...
okay im a sap...
and rachel peacock's song keeps replaying in my head...
"we're moving on together
we'll never ever be the same
it's our last goodbye"
i cried like a baby, and the tears were so pure, so helpless. i dont want to grow up. things are so good right now, and its hard to try to close up that chapter when i have so many loose strings. but im proud that i made an extra effort to solve problems that needed to be addressed by today, and my heart hurts a lot less because of that. as i look back, i know ive changed so much...changed tastes, changed friends, changed morals, changed outlooks on life. all for the better, and all completely worth it. ive never learned so much from other people as i did this year...and i know for sure that they have no idea how much theyve touched my life.
i will remember these things always and forever. and consequently, i think my biggest fear right now is forgetting, and even more so, being forgotten.
my favorite 10 (or so) moments of this year (in some sort of chronological order)...
1. riding to the grayson football game with emi, eating at wendys, getting rained on, and making one of the best friends ive ever had.
2. the whole miss collins hill experience was well worth it. i gained more confidence than i realized at first.
3. being accepted into UGA, and deciding to room with anna arp...knowing that my future is going to be exactly as i have dreamed for the last 17 years of my life.
4. meeting sebastian, figuring out my strengths and weaknesses, standing up for myself, and hitting rock bottom. and now, i hope that both he and jenny are happy, and that they know that im sorry that those months were hell for all of us.
5. homecoming with phillip, emi, and mary...one of the best nights of first semester.
6. being asked to lead the girls retreat was a blessing. i learned so much about myself, the Lord's plan for my life, and the beauty of the girls around me...especially kelly
7. being a captain for swim team, getting to hang out with christina, and being CRAZY with all the guys and girls. ill never forget the augusta meet.
8. learning what i deserve when it comes to guys...and going after what i wanted.
9. going to the football, basketball, and baseball games with all my girls, driving to far away places with emily and stephanie, getting my 52 from quiktrip, and supporting the teams
10. slip-n-slide, volleyball, and just getting to know michael, clay, zach, ashley, mindy, and courtney...being crazy with everyone.
11. prom night with tyler and others. dressing up, dinner, pictures, and the afterparty...everythign was a blast
12. senior week, powderpuff, and just knowing that our class could do whatever we wanted. and kicking some girls' ass in the game... :)
13. just yearbook in general...those girls have become some of the people i trust the most, laugh with the hardest, and feel most comfortable around. each of of you will always hold a special place in my heart--i would not have made it through senior year without you by my side. we coached each other through drama, troubled friendships, and broken hearts, and my life wouldnt be complete or interesting if not for you all. i love you more than you know...
okay im a sap...
and rachel peacock's song keeps replaying in my head...
"we're moving on together
we'll never ever be the same
it's our last goodbye"