peanut butter jelly time
***JUST SO YOU KNOW I CUT ALMOST ALL JOURNAL ENTRIES STRAIGHT FROM MYSPACE BLOGS AND LJ ENTRIES TO MYSPACE**
so lance and i went to happy hour today and had some fucking deep talks about stupid relationships. and while we are sitting there im trying to explain to him my theory on how relationships only work if the two people have good, solid, established lives apart from each other and then together they create a separate good and solid life. this way they each are contributing outside things to the combined life and theres always new and exciting stuff going on and being thrown in the mix.
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, we discovered, are the perfect analogy for this.
ready?
peanut butter alone is pretty good.
some fucking sickos eat it right out of the jar with fingers or spoons. its good on gross-me-out bananas and apples and in cookies and in reeses peanut butter cups. i know a freak who eats peanut butter on waffles (ewwwww)
jelly rocks too.
awesome on toast, awesome on toast with butter. my mom even eats jelly on ritz crackers (sick) and i knew someone once who ate grape jelly and mustard sandwiches (really fucking gross).
if you took peanut butter and jelly and threw it in a big bowl and smushed it all up together, mixed it up real good into some sort of sludge and then slapped it on bread, it would be disgusting. just not the same.
(this represents the super codependent couples...you know the ones. the ones who never go anywhere without each other and are totally annoyingly obsessive about each other.)
and yes im sure some of you assholes out there are going to write me and tell me thats exactly how you eat your sandwiches but im here to tell you that thats the wrong way.
here ... i will find you the recipe.
ahem
You will need to get two slices of bread, a spreading knife, peanut butter, and jelly. Spread a little peanut butter on one slice of bread Scoop some jelly or jam onto the spreading knife and spread gently on other slice of bread. Put one slice of bread onto a plate with the peanut butter side facing up. Take the other slice with jelly and gently place onto the other slice.
i cant believe i actually found that. anyway.
its important that you put equal parts of peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other. you need two solid, separate layers for this to work...the analogy and the sandwich.
(sometimes i will drown the sandwich in tons of jelly....see thats my selfish 'me me me me me me' side coming out.)
a little peanut butter on one side, a little jelly on the other. (bread can stand as any variable you want, you fucking crazies.)
smush them together and you have wonderfulness.
totally substantial and fabulous on their own and great together.
if you really want to get deep into it, i know some of you will, bread can be whatever you want...love, support, patience...something equally as gay and mushy....
k. just thought id share our drunken cecil's wisdom with you.
this sounds so much smarter and so much more wise when youre tipsy and you can slam your hands down on the bar and be loud and i can demonstrate it and act it out with my right hand starring as peanut butter and my left, jelly
whatever. lance totally gets it.
and by the way, the prepackaged peanut butter and jelly swirled together does not count. whoever (whomever?) buys that is just buying gross food for fatties (like that microwave popcorn thats marshmallow flavored...or my little brothers smores cookies...total fat kid food) you cant refrigerate that shit which means that the jelly gets rotten and anyway if youre thinking that far into it....just stop reading. just stop right now. we were club soda and rum and whiskey (not together) powered. so shut up already.
whats up run on sentences.
(ps i dont really want to read a bunch of crazy stuff regarding this post. just take a deep breath and let it go. i dont want to know how you make pb&j, how you cut yours ...well maybe i do, im a diagonal-er just so you know... or what bread you use. dont laugh. some of these people are out of control when it comes to sending messages about blogs. i manage to delete a lot of retarded comments by only allowing friends to post or read but the messages are out of control. so back off....and focus on valentines decorations and snow cones..the good hawaiian shaved ice ones.)
so lance and i went to happy hour today and had some fucking deep talks about stupid relationships. and while we are sitting there im trying to explain to him my theory on how relationships only work if the two people have good, solid, established lives apart from each other and then together they create a separate good and solid life. this way they each are contributing outside things to the combined life and theres always new and exciting stuff going on and being thrown in the mix.
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, we discovered, are the perfect analogy for this.
ready?
peanut butter alone is pretty good.
some fucking sickos eat it right out of the jar with fingers or spoons. its good on gross-me-out bananas and apples and in cookies and in reeses peanut butter cups. i know a freak who eats peanut butter on waffles (ewwwww)
jelly rocks too.
awesome on toast, awesome on toast with butter. my mom even eats jelly on ritz crackers (sick) and i knew someone once who ate grape jelly and mustard sandwiches (really fucking gross).
if you took peanut butter and jelly and threw it in a big bowl and smushed it all up together, mixed it up real good into some sort of sludge and then slapped it on bread, it would be disgusting. just not the same.
(this represents the super codependent couples...you know the ones. the ones who never go anywhere without each other and are totally annoyingly obsessive about each other.)
and yes im sure some of you assholes out there are going to write me and tell me thats exactly how you eat your sandwiches but im here to tell you that thats the wrong way.
here ... i will find you the recipe.
ahem
You will need to get two slices of bread, a spreading knife, peanut butter, and jelly. Spread a little peanut butter on one slice of bread Scoop some jelly or jam onto the spreading knife and spread gently on other slice of bread. Put one slice of bread onto a plate with the peanut butter side facing up. Take the other slice with jelly and gently place onto the other slice.
i cant believe i actually found that. anyway.
its important that you put equal parts of peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other. you need two solid, separate layers for this to work...the analogy and the sandwich.
(sometimes i will drown the sandwich in tons of jelly....see thats my selfish 'me me me me me me' side coming out.)
a little peanut butter on one side, a little jelly on the other. (bread can stand as any variable you want, you fucking crazies.)
smush them together and you have wonderfulness.
totally substantial and fabulous on their own and great together.
if you really want to get deep into it, i know some of you will, bread can be whatever you want...love, support, patience...something equally as gay and mushy....
k. just thought id share our drunken cecil's wisdom with you.
this sounds so much smarter and so much more wise when youre tipsy and you can slam your hands down on the bar and be loud and i can demonstrate it and act it out with my right hand starring as peanut butter and my left, jelly
whatever. lance totally gets it.
and by the way, the prepackaged peanut butter and jelly swirled together does not count. whoever (whomever?) buys that is just buying gross food for fatties (like that microwave popcorn thats marshmallow flavored...or my little brothers smores cookies...total fat kid food) you cant refrigerate that shit which means that the jelly gets rotten and anyway if youre thinking that far into it....just stop reading. just stop right now. we were club soda and rum and whiskey (not together) powered. so shut up already.
whats up run on sentences.
(ps i dont really want to read a bunch of crazy stuff regarding this post. just take a deep breath and let it go. i dont want to know how you make pb&j, how you cut yours ...well maybe i do, im a diagonal-er just so you know... or what bread you use. dont laugh. some of these people are out of control when it comes to sending messages about blogs. i manage to delete a lot of retarded comments by only allowing friends to post or read but the messages are out of control. so back off....and focus on valentines decorations and snow cones..the good hawaiian shaved ice ones.)