Weddings, Mothers, and MCPoverty
MCPoverty would, of course, be Middle Class Poverty, where two people can make a household income that is, at face value, a decent amount to live on, and yet they live check-to-check with bills causing an increasing headache.
That's pretty much where A.M. and I are right now, so we made the decision to elope, so to speak, in June. The day after we're married, we're having a little celebration at a park -- A.M. and I are inviting some people from work, and it will be over within a couple of hours. No "wedding," no "reception," no "presents" -- just an acknowledgement of the fact that we are finally unionized in the eyes of the state.
Apparently, when I told Mom the date of which we'd be getting married, she began making plans to get down here, even though A.M. and I knew that no one on either side of our family would have the time, budget, or leave from work to attend. When I found out she was trying to come down, I told her that we'd have a bedroom ready for her if she could make it, and she could come to the cookout we're having.
Oh, no! She was going to come down and then take us on vacation to the coast. What cookout? We're going to be on the beach. Sorry, Mom. We've already sent out invitations, and booked the space. Well, fine.
Today, I speak with her again and she begs me to get A.M. to agree to cancel the cookout so she can pay for the two of us to have a short weekend Honeymoon. She's adamant. "I can't be there, and I really want to do something for you." Fine, mom. I'll talk to A.M. I talk to him tonight, and he's equally as adamant: People have made plans, taken off of work, and one of them has even tried convincing A.M. to let him PAY for a church to do a ceremony in. These people will be pissed if they're told "nevermind" less than two weeks in advance.
I could tell mom was very saddened by this news, and it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I suggested that she pay to take us out to a really nice dinner. She doesn't like that idea, she doesn't know any of the restaurants in the area. I tell her that she can take us on vacation later in the year when we all have time off. She has no comment. She decides then that us grilling out at a shelter isn't good enough for our wedding reception, and she now wants to pay to have it catered.
CATERED. At a PARK. She wants them to bring things like servers, silverware, and plates, and clean up when we're done. "You'll need music," she says.
I thought all of this was going to be easier, considering there wasn't supposed to be family involved. A.M. was smart about this. He assured his mother that we were getting married before the family reunion in July, but won't give her a date. SMART MAN.
I don't want a catered reception. I told her that I'd check with some of the local groceries about their party platters. "Don't just talk to the groceries, call some catering companies." Yes, ma'am.
Maybe what I need to do is to have her buy... the wedding cake? I wasn't planning on having one, but it may be a nice middle ground. I'll have to see. This is all so frustrating.
That's pretty much where A.M. and I are right now, so we made the decision to elope, so to speak, in June. The day after we're married, we're having a little celebration at a park -- A.M. and I are inviting some people from work, and it will be over within a couple of hours. No "wedding," no "reception," no "presents" -- just an acknowledgement of the fact that we are finally unionized in the eyes of the state.
Apparently, when I told Mom the date of which we'd be getting married, she began making plans to get down here, even though A.M. and I knew that no one on either side of our family would have the time, budget, or leave from work to attend. When I found out she was trying to come down, I told her that we'd have a bedroom ready for her if she could make it, and she could come to the cookout we're having.
Oh, no! She was going to come down and then take us on vacation to the coast. What cookout? We're going to be on the beach. Sorry, Mom. We've already sent out invitations, and booked the space. Well, fine.
Today, I speak with her again and she begs me to get A.M. to agree to cancel the cookout so she can pay for the two of us to have a short weekend Honeymoon. She's adamant. "I can't be there, and I really want to do something for you." Fine, mom. I'll talk to A.M. I talk to him tonight, and he's equally as adamant: People have made plans, taken off of work, and one of them has even tried convincing A.M. to let him PAY for a church to do a ceremony in. These people will be pissed if they're told "nevermind" less than two weeks in advance.
I could tell mom was very saddened by this news, and it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I suggested that she pay to take us out to a really nice dinner. She doesn't like that idea, she doesn't know any of the restaurants in the area. I tell her that she can take us on vacation later in the year when we all have time off. She has no comment. She decides then that us grilling out at a shelter isn't good enough for our wedding reception, and she now wants to pay to have it catered.
CATERED. At a PARK. She wants them to bring things like servers, silverware, and plates, and clean up when we're done. "You'll need music," she says.
I thought all of this was going to be easier, considering there wasn't supposed to be family involved. A.M. was smart about this. He assured his mother that we were getting married before the family reunion in July, but won't give her a date. SMART MAN.
I don't want a catered reception. I told her that I'd check with some of the local groceries about their party platters. "Don't just talk to the groceries, call some catering companies." Yes, ma'am.
Maybe what I need to do is to have her buy... the wedding cake? I wasn't planning on having one, but it may be a nice middle ground. I'll have to see. This is all so frustrating.