Another random post from this old lady.
So I guess that sometimes, I just randomly feel like writing in here. I think it's mostly because I just want to send some thoughts out into the relative anonymity of the dead lj world.
Well, what's up in my life...
I feel kind of like I'm living in that Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day," except for me, it's a week-long loop. Maybe two weeks per loop, just to account for the every-other weekend off schedule, I guess. I seriously just feel like I keep going through the same actions over and over again. It's like a cheesy movie montage, where all of the trees change while someone is standing in the middle of the year passing them by.
Some things change. Jack is bigger everyday. He knows more words all of the time (like a couple of weeks ago, when he said "shit," which we've had to try to wipe from his vocabulary... which is particularly difficult, as the vocabulary of our 16-month old is approximately 3 words, which included shit. Band season is quickly approaching, and the kids are another one of my time-reminders. They mostly remind me that my youth has quietly slipped away into the night, where it was viciously murdered, leaving these terrible lines around my eyes that are the most evident when I'm trying to put on make-up before work.
Our vacation to San Juan was amazing... I wish we could go back... I'm just so sick of the monotony of adulthood. I'm bored out of my SKULL!!!!
Almost every day follows the same pattern:
1. Wake up after not getting enough sleep, either due to Jack waking up or my proclivity for late night tv.
2. Take a shower, hopefully before Jack wakes up, because then it's not even relaxing, because he's usually screaming until I come out. Get dressed and put on make up, but only if I wake up extra early
3. If Jack isn't awake yet, make his lunch, if he is awake, go get him because he's freaking out.
4. Give Jack a banana or some grapes or some toast or a waffle and pack his bag
5. Dress Jack, let Bailey out so hopefully she doesn't pee all over the house
6. Leave, bring Jack to daycare, race to work
7. Work, try not to look too pissed at idiots shopping there
8. Leave work, go get Jack, go home
9. Make dinner, or more often, realize that I didn't take anything out, and try to throw something together, hopefully not delivery pizza.
10. Try to clean and relax, argue with John over what to watch... Jeopardy or the same Love It or List It that was on a week ago
11. Go to bed.
Sometimes I have something that jolts me out of the perpetual loop in which I live... helping Kristin plan her wedding, going swimming at Meg and Brian's, band meeting, whatever.
I don't really know what the point of this post was... Mostly that I'm just whiny and don't want the responsibility of being a grown up. I miss not having any real bills other than my phone and rent. I'm sick of paying the mortgage, for groceries, for DIAPERS, for gas to drive people around, for daycare (killing me)... Not that I pay those alone... I just miss having expendable cash..
More than that, I miss having friends. I miss doing things with people other than my family. I need it. Especially on those days when John is being kind of a dink and I just want to POKE HIM IN THE EYE, I just miss being able to go out for drinks or to walk around a store, without getting the third degree. I have one friend. It's terrible. I used to have a million friends. I went out almost every night of the week, and obviously I can't do that now, I'm a mom, but I've completely lost touch with people who have been there for me since I was a child. And I'm an asshole for letting it happen.
Ok. Done whining and venting. I need to go to bed. I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow (day off, thank God), followed by a band meeting. Maybe that two hours will help me relieve a little frustration. Sorry kids, if I'm in total bitch mode tomorrow. I'll try not to be too scary.
L
Well, what's up in my life...
I feel kind of like I'm living in that Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day," except for me, it's a week-long loop. Maybe two weeks per loop, just to account for the every-other weekend off schedule, I guess. I seriously just feel like I keep going through the same actions over and over again. It's like a cheesy movie montage, where all of the trees change while someone is standing in the middle of the year passing them by.
Some things change. Jack is bigger everyday. He knows more words all of the time (like a couple of weeks ago, when he said "shit," which we've had to try to wipe from his vocabulary... which is particularly difficult, as the vocabulary of our 16-month old is approximately 3 words, which included shit. Band season is quickly approaching, and the kids are another one of my time-reminders. They mostly remind me that my youth has quietly slipped away into the night, where it was viciously murdered, leaving these terrible lines around my eyes that are the most evident when I'm trying to put on make-up before work.
Our vacation to San Juan was amazing... I wish we could go back... I'm just so sick of the monotony of adulthood. I'm bored out of my SKULL!!!!
Almost every day follows the same pattern:
1. Wake up after not getting enough sleep, either due to Jack waking up or my proclivity for late night tv.
2. Take a shower, hopefully before Jack wakes up, because then it's not even relaxing, because he's usually screaming until I come out. Get dressed and put on make up, but only if I wake up extra early
3. If Jack isn't awake yet, make his lunch, if he is awake, go get him because he's freaking out.
4. Give Jack a banana or some grapes or some toast or a waffle and pack his bag
5. Dress Jack, let Bailey out so hopefully she doesn't pee all over the house
6. Leave, bring Jack to daycare, race to work
7. Work, try not to look too pissed at idiots shopping there
8. Leave work, go get Jack, go home
9. Make dinner, or more often, realize that I didn't take anything out, and try to throw something together, hopefully not delivery pizza.
10. Try to clean and relax, argue with John over what to watch... Jeopardy or the same Love It or List It that was on a week ago
11. Go to bed.
Sometimes I have something that jolts me out of the perpetual loop in which I live... helping Kristin plan her wedding, going swimming at Meg and Brian's, band meeting, whatever.
I don't really know what the point of this post was... Mostly that I'm just whiny and don't want the responsibility of being a grown up. I miss not having any real bills other than my phone and rent. I'm sick of paying the mortgage, for groceries, for DIAPERS, for gas to drive people around, for daycare (killing me)... Not that I pay those alone... I just miss having expendable cash..
More than that, I miss having friends. I miss doing things with people other than my family. I need it. Especially on those days when John is being kind of a dink and I just want to POKE HIM IN THE EYE, I just miss being able to go out for drinks or to walk around a store, without getting the third degree. I have one friend. It's terrible. I used to have a million friends. I went out almost every night of the week, and obviously I can't do that now, I'm a mom, but I've completely lost touch with people who have been there for me since I was a child. And I'm an asshole for letting it happen.
Ok. Done whining and venting. I need to go to bed. I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow (day off, thank God), followed by a band meeting. Maybe that two hours will help me relieve a little frustration. Sorry kids, if I'm in total bitch mode tomorrow. I'll try not to be too scary.
L