(no subject)
I truly am falling in love with London.
I wish I could describe to all of you how amazingly alive and vital I feel here. I can’t remember ever feeling this *present* in my surroundings. I’m almost never in Laura Land… I’m not sure if I want to live away from there forever, but for now it’s like I live in a constant state of sensory input up to, but not quite reaching, overload. There’s just *so much world* and I’m just so a part of it!! I’m not sure if I can describe it. It has a lot to do with ADD. Or in this case London overpowering ADD. High on life is really a good description.
And as a side note, how did I become London’s most wanted lesbian? WTF? Sometimes when I’m out with these girls I feel like I’m beating them off with a stick! Did my fairy godmother come down and wave her wand and say “right now I'm going to cumulatively grant every wish you made in high school that you were more desirable!!” and suddenly I fell like half of the women I hang out with are wanting to get with me. I don’t get it. I mean it’s flattering and gratifying, but it’s also strange. And slightly worrying as I don’t want to hurt anyone…
so all in all life continues to be strange, but for different reasons. I think I'm back to my self again--although who that self is remains to be seen. My time here is like a cocoon and I have no idea what's going to emerge--it might even be the caterpillar. I really have no idea.
But in the mean time I'm deleteriously happy.
I wish I could describe to all of you how amazingly alive and vital I feel here. I can’t remember ever feeling this *present* in my surroundings. I’m almost never in Laura Land… I’m not sure if I want to live away from there forever, but for now it’s like I live in a constant state of sensory input up to, but not quite reaching, overload. There’s just *so much world* and I’m just so a part of it!! I’m not sure if I can describe it. It has a lot to do with ADD. Or in this case London overpowering ADD. High on life is really a good description.
And as a side note, how did I become London’s most wanted lesbian? WTF? Sometimes when I’m out with these girls I feel like I’m beating them off with a stick! Did my fairy godmother come down and wave her wand and say “right now I'm going to cumulatively grant every wish you made in high school that you were more desirable!!” and suddenly I fell like half of the women I hang out with are wanting to get with me. I don’t get it. I mean it’s flattering and gratifying, but it’s also strange. And slightly worrying as I don’t want to hurt anyone…
so all in all life continues to be strange, but for different reasons. I think I'm back to my self again--although who that self is remains to be seen. My time here is like a cocoon and I have no idea what's going to emerge--it might even be the caterpillar. I really have no idea.
But in the mean time I'm deleteriously happy.