Title: Can't Help Falling In Love (OneShot)
Author:
lauraq94 Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Summary: Glimpses of Rachel and Quinn's relationship over the course of 20 years!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: Hi guys just another one shot for y'all. I don't really know what this is? A songfic? A collection of drabbles? Maybe it's a mixture... making it a, songble? I haven't a clue. I'm new to all this stuff. It is angsty and I don't usually like angst but hey-ho! Enjoy! Oh and it's not order of events... but I hope it makes sense :)
“I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.”
Quinn screamed into the pillows of her bed, trying desperately to muffle the sound of her strangled cries, because the last thing she wanted was any sort of questioning from her mother (who had decided that now she wanted to care about her daughter). Sure the blonde appreciated that she was finally receiving the love she had always wanted from Judy Fabray, but she was not prepared to answer questions that she didn't want to answer herself. That she couldn't answer herself.
She was so confused and angry and frustrated and disgusted and ARGH! Why? Why did this have to happen to her? And why did it have to be over her? Quinns crying halted for a moment and was replaced with pure anger, she sat up sharply and scanned her room because she had a sudden and undeniable urge to throw something. The cheerleaders eyes zeroed in on her bedside table, scrambling up from her bed she practically ran to the photo-frame. Why had she even put that picture next to her bed when it had her in it? This realisation further added to her anger and an almost demonic smirk covered her face when she realised just how satisfying this was going to be. Then with a sudden twirl and a broken scream Quinn hurtled the picture at the wall just opposite her bed, the strength she put behind it caused the frame to shatter almost immediately on contact.
She felt better... for about two seconds and then she started crying again, but this time for an entirely different reason. Scurrying over to the shattered remains of the photo the blonde rummaged through the broken glass, praying that it wasn't ruined. When she pulled the picture out from the rubble her eyes franticly observed it... there was only a few scratches and she was fine. Quinn couldn't help but sigh in pure relief as she took in the undeniable beauty that she was staring at, she loved this photo because it was one of the only ones where they were actually standing next to each other and sometimes she liked to pretend that they were together and happy. With a somewhat defeated huff the blonde fell back against the wall, then carefully she folded the photo so that the rest of the glee club were cut out and it was just the two of them.
There was a few blissful minutes that overtook Quinn as she allowed herself to just float in a daydream for once, then trying desperately to reign in her pathetic dreams the cheerleader clutched the picture painfully against her heart and let out another broken cry.
Why couldn't these feelings just leave her alone?
~~X~~
“Oh, I can see now,
That all of these clouds are following me,
In my desperate endeavour,
To find my whoever, wherever she may be”
Ten years was a long time, most would say it was more then enough time to forget someone, or even get over a broken heart. Time is a healer? Pfft Quinn scoffed at the stupid saying, because it was most definitely a lie. She was scared though, like really really scared... she never got scared she was Quinn Fabray fierce attorney and a confident one at that. Yet here she was, quivering like a little four year old, and all over a girl... just a girl. But again Quinn scoffed at the idea 'just a girl'? Rachel Berry was anything but 'just a girl,' she was beautiful, talented, a woman, a fighter, brave, flawless, she was indescribable and she was... right in front of her.
As soon as she noticed her the blonde shot up, knocked her chair over, and started babbling various thing that didn't make any sense at all. Rachel quirked an eyebrow up at the blonde in amusement, the whole thing was pretty endearing, so the brunette put her out of a misery and provided the first sentence,
“Hello Quinn, I'm glad to see you are as punctual as ever.” With these words she placed a comforting hand on the blondes shoulder, and it instantly calmed her down, it felt so warm and, and familiar all Quinn could do was soak in the blissful contact that was all too soon taken away again. She frowned at the lose.
Rachel noticed and smirked. Before going to the till to get her self some coffee.
After twenty or so minutes of uneventful small talk ('How are you?' 'You must come see my show' 'Of Course') the two women fell into a comfortable silence. Ten years was a long time Quinn thought, all she knew was that she definitely hadn't gotten over the girl in front of her, and from the shy glances and soft touches she suspected Rachel was in a similar position. It was in that moment that Quinn realised she had found her someone, the someone, and she would do whatever she could to earn Rachels forgiveness and blow away the dark clouds behind them. Then maybe, just maybe, she would let herself be happy for once.
~~X~~
“You don't see me laughing,
You don't,
But I'll still be here waiting for you.”
Rachel Berry was many things, she was excitable, hyper, talkative, blunt, caring, forgiving, an overachiever, relentless, arrogant and so much more... but she was not stupid. Admittedly she could be somewhat naïve and often forgave people when she really shouldn't, but she was well aware of the longing looks that Quinn Fabray gave her because, well, because she was giving them right back but that was beside the point. The point was Quinn Fabray liked her, now at first she thought the blonde just wanted to reach out to her and accept her numerous attempts of friendship. So of course Rachel understood that the cheerleaders pride was far to strong for her to actually act on it herself, and being that she had always had this fascination with the blonde Rachel was more than happy to take the first step:
“Hello Quinn, how are you today?” Rachel had approached the blonde once everyone had left the choir room, seizing the moment when Santana and Brittany weren’t around as they had run of rather quickly to do things she didn't really want to imagining. Quinn looked up at her and rose her eyebrows in surprise and Rachel definitely saw something else there but she hadn't a clue what, she chose to ignore it and continue with her pursuit of the girls friendship.
“I was simply wondering, if you would per chance like to join me at my house this evening. I assure you the night will be pleasant, and I have planned various activities for us to partake in. I would simply love for us to take are acquaintanceship to the next level and perhaps allow it to progress into a solid friendship.” At these words the cheerleaders eyes seemed to light up with, hope? But the moment was short lived and all emotion was once again absent from the hazel eyes,
“Urgh! Jesus RuPaul how many times do I have to say no? I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Your. Friend. Just leave me alone!” Rachel visibly deflated with the harshness that Quinn portrayed and she found herself at a loss in how to reply. She honestly thought Quinn would take her up on the offer and when she didn't she was left simply confused. When the brunette didn't reply Quinn quickly gathered up her things and swiftly left the room, silently praying that the singer didn't notice the tears behind her eyes at having to reject the one person she didn't want to.
Left behind in the choir room Rachel decided that another course of action was needed, she saw that the blonde needed time and for some unknown reason Rachel decided she would wait for her, because she honestly believed that Quinn Fabray was worth it. She just hoped she didn't have to wait too much longer.
~~X~~
“Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.
Say you'll never leave me 'cause I need you so much.
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.”
“Please. Quinn. Don't do this.” She looked down at the desperate eyes in front of her and felt her heart break at the sight, she had broken the girl she loved. She had done the one thing she promised never to do, but she just wasn't strong enough, Quinn knew she would never be what Rachel needed her to be. She wasn't brave, or strong, or proud of who she was but she didn't want to hide the brunette either... that was just unfair, but because she was suck a freakin' coward and she took peoples judgements to heart she chose breaking Rachels heart (and her own) over being brave.
The blondes face crumpled as she tried to hold back the tears. She wasn't exactly surprised though, this is what she did! She broke people and denied herself happiness... she didn't deserve Rachel anyway. She was worthless.
In a moment of aggression she pushed the clinging girls away from her and caused her to hit the wall in the process, she regretted it instantly and moved forward to make sure she was ok before catching herself and halting her movement. She had to make Rachel hate her, it was the easiest way.
“Get the fuck away from me RuPaul. Never talk to me again. I was bored and lonely and you were...” Quinn had to control her emotions before she gave her act away, she could hardly believe the words she was about to say. Taking a deep breath she continued. “...you were convenient. But you're nothing to me, I've had my fun and now I'm done with you.” She saw the absolute despair in Rachels eyes and was so close to gathering her up in her arms and begging for forgiveness. NO she couldn't she had to stay strong, she had to give Rachel the chance to live her life.
Then without a second glance she turned quickly and stormed out the room, but the moment she was out of sight she fell to the ground clutching her breaking heart. What had she done? Why did it hurt so much if it was meant to be for the best? And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse she heard the broken whimpers of the love of her life, she couldn't see her but she could hear her. God she could hear her, and the words that she cried would forever be etched into the blondes mind.
“D-don't go... God... please, please, please. Don't go.”
~~X~~
“Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin,
If I can't help falling in love with you?”
The icy wind of winter caused Quinn to shiver and draw her jacket up to her chin. Despite the cold she could still feel the warmth and the, the hope in her heart. She was actually doing it, Quinn couldn't believe she was actually taking Rachel Berry on a date, but she couldn't be more excited. The blonde reached the door of the Berry household and that’s when she expected the nerves to hit, but they didn’t she just felt... giddy? And that’s when she knew that something that gave her this much joy just couldn't be a sin.
The second her knuckles knocked against the door it was wrenched open in super speed, and then there she was, the brunette angel smiling up at her seemingly embarrassed with her eagerness. Quinn smiled the broadest grin she'd ever had, she was so happy to see that Rachel was just as excited as she was.
“Well Quinn. I must say you are doing well thus far, you have arrived at precisely the designated time and you even came to the door to escort me back to the car. In previous relations, for example Finn Hudson, they have simply beeped their horns and expected me to come rushing out. It goes without saying that I was not impressed. And here you are, treating me exactly how I expect to be treated, hmm I wonder if it is because you are in fact a girl and you know from personal experience what I would desire. Yes that must be it, but I for one am not complaining and-” Rachel was abruptly cut off, but for once she was definitely not complaining about it, because the reason for her sudden interruption was none other than Quinn Fabray's luscious lips against her own. All she could do was close her eyes and enjoying the moment she had been dreaming of for so long.
Quinn wasn't sure what came over her, all she remembered was listening to Rachel ramble on and finding her incredibly adorable and before she knew what was happening she was practically attacking the girl with her lips. Shit! What if it make her angry? Was she meant to wait till the end of the date? Crap, what if Rachel cancels the gate? But as soon as these thoughts entered her head they were swept away when the singer returned the kiss. And Quinn was pretty sure she had made it to heaven after all.
When they pulled apart, they exchanged soft 'Hello's' and shy glances, and when Rachel took her hand on the way to the car with a bashful smile, Quinn knew for certain that there was no way she could not fall in love with this girl.
~~X~~
“Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?”
The dark cloudy skies split open and bright rays shone through the window onto the pale skin of Quinn Fabray. She grumbled at sun, blaming it for taking away her last five minute of sleep, but then she felt warm soft skin wrapping her up from behind and she couldn't help the smile from creeping on her face. She kept her eyes closed though, because the last thing she wanted to do was leave this warm embrace.
“Quinn Fabray! I can see that smile. I know your awake madam! And pretending to be asleep or not you are getting up today... but not before you give me a kiss.” At these words Quinn felt suddenly very awake as she snapped into action and turned into an awaiting kiss. She still couldn't believe that after ten years of marriage there was still so much passion and want behind their kisses, but there was, and she was certainly not complaining.
Because ten years may be a long time, but it felt like seconds when she spent it with the love of her life... Rachel Berry. Then with an internal smirk Quinn corrected herself, Rachel Fabray.
Rachel was having similar thoughts, she couldn't believe she was still so in love with the blonde, but then she didn't really have a choice. Because even though Quinn had broken her all those years ago and then just jumped back into her life after ten years of silence, she was still very much in love with the girl. So it was really no surprise that after so many years of being together she would find herself so much more in love then she ever believed possible.
They both sighed in absolute contentment.
They loved each other.
They fought for each other.
They left behind their broken past.
And they wouldn't change a thing.