My political 2 cents
Remember folks, on the day before election day, I will be turning 35. And we all know what that means! I can be President! =D Feel free to write me in. I'm for guns, weed, gay marriage, husband-swapping, chocolate fountains, a lot of money for me, oh and fiscal responsibility (except for where my salary is concerned). I'm against self-righteous Bible thumpers, Communists and that band, the Spin Doctors. They will be taken out back and shot.
Has anyone yet tried to sell their vote on eBay? I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of it! What better way to get the word out that my vote is for sale? Sokay, all you Obama and McCain folks, let's start the bidding at $50! I'm in Minnesota, a state that could go either way, right? So my vote is worth at least 50 bucks! Start whenever, you have till next Tuesday.
Damn political shite, always interfering with the 2 Most Awesome Days Ever - Halloween and my birthday! Though both of those have been getting less and less awesome as the years go on. Remember how exciting your birthday was when you were like, 7? Yeah, but then you'd open the craptactular present your cheap-ass parents got you, for example, a book and a pair of tube socks, and then you'd realize the cold reality that life sucks and it isn't worth it to get excited about anything. Sure, your 21st birthday was fun when Ben the Crank Addict put a whole bunch of meth in your bottle of Evian and you went to the Nine Inch Nails show, but once your 30th birthday rolled around, no one even bothered showing up. Am I right or am I right?
I not only have to SEW something by Thursday, I apparently have to COOK something too. Do I look like fuckin' Martha Stewart over here? What the hell?
Has anyone yet tried to sell their vote on eBay? I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of it! What better way to get the word out that my vote is for sale? Sokay, all you Obama and McCain folks, let's start the bidding at $50! I'm in Minnesota, a state that could go either way, right? So my vote is worth at least 50 bucks! Start whenever, you have till next Tuesday.
Damn political shite, always interfering with the 2 Most Awesome Days Ever - Halloween and my birthday! Though both of those have been getting less and less awesome as the years go on. Remember how exciting your birthday was when you were like, 7? Yeah, but then you'd open the craptactular present your cheap-ass parents got you, for example, a book and a pair of tube socks, and then you'd realize the cold reality that life sucks and it isn't worth it to get excited about anything. Sure, your 21st birthday was fun when Ben the Crank Addict put a whole bunch of meth in your bottle of Evian and you went to the Nine Inch Nails show, but once your 30th birthday rolled around, no one even bothered showing up. Am I right or am I right?
I not only have to SEW something by Thursday, I apparently have to COOK something too. Do I look like fuckin' Martha Stewart over here? What the hell?