My birthday
Friday was my birthday. I went to school and chloe brought me all these balloons, and I turned beat red. Everyone was all excited that it was my birthday and it was nice. Then I went to that stupid pharmacy training, it wasn't all that bad. I got out at nine and came home and started getting ready to go out. Danielle and chloe came over and we got ready together. We looked hot, I looked hot, I looked old hahaha. Then we got tair, and she always looks hot, so that wasn't any surprise and we went downtown. We had talked about going to Liars because we heard they are closing down and they weren't id-ing anyone, but we decided to go to Pure instead. I had a lot of fun. This 25 year-old semi-cute guy danced with me and he thought I was at least 21 and he said I was gorgeous and the most beautiful girl there lollolol, what a tool. But he was really nice, and he lifted up his shirt to show me his tattoos lol, it was random. Then we got home and passed out. Then I woke up at seven with Danielle to make sure she got off to work in time. Then I layed in my bed with chloe but couldn't fall asleep, so I just roamed the house and did whatever until she woke up, and then she went to work to. Then I was alone and this is when I had my slight breakdown. I was so angry that nobody like made my birthday special, and it was lame. I felt like I took off of work for everyone else's birthday and made the plans and all this stuff and no one really did anything for me. My parents were so caught up with everything going on with my grandma that they didn't even say happy birthday to me, let alone acknowledge me at all. I was so angry and tired and let down. I was supposed to do something with tair and lindsey but I felt like they put no effort in and left it up to me to make the plans, and that made me angry too. But I had to go with my parents to the hospital to visit my grandma who is in the ICU. She had major surgery and is all fucked up, pretty much. She was like not responsive and hooked up to a breathing machine and all these IV's and wires and shit. I wasn't expecting it, it was retarted. We left and got lunch and I started like freaking out about what I was going to do that day. I was being really over-dramatic and annoying mainly because I was upset to begin with and also because I got like a whole 3 hours of sleep, and it made me really emotional. So I came home and just went to sleep. I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything. I was passed out I got like a hundred text messages and had all these missed calls when I woke up. Marty called me and wanted to take me to get ice cream, and of course I said yes, here was someone who actually made plans with me. So he picked me up and we got ice cream, then we went to his house and thats when he started acting weird. First he decided he really needed to take a shower, so he did that I layed in his bed, texting chloe, asking her what she was doing she said "nothing just hanging out with louis". Then me and marty went downstairs and watched VH1's iLove the millenium. Then he was like "lets go" and it was pouring and we aimlessly drove up and down elmwood. Then he was like "I really really have to pee!" and I really did too so he said "lets go to your house and we'll pee and then we'll figure out something to do" So we went to my house and I opened the door and there was pretty much all my friends in my living room. I was really over-whelmed, and really had to pee. But I really did not expect it at all! I was so surprised!! Louis, Chloe, Marty of course, Tahira, Lindsey, Timmy, Matt, Hillary, Danielle, her boyfriend Andy, my uncle and my family were all there. And everything was all decorated and it was really nice and I was so happy. It was exactly what I wanted, something simple with everyone there. I quickly got over being upset with tair and lindsey when i realized they knew about my party the whole time and thats probablly why they didn't put much effort in. Tair wrote me the nicest birthday letter thing ever. I had a lot of fun, and felt loved. I love my mother and chloe to death for putting it all together. Then everyone left and me and chloe went over to louis's with marty and were there til 5 in the morning, it was like light out when we came home. I got a whole 2 hours of sleep before I had to wake up and go to the second part of the pharmacy training, I actually did learn a lot. Then I came home and me and my dad ran around deleware park, its so nice to have someone to run with, plus it was perfect running weather. Then we went to the doctor's and he got his stitches out. Now I'm home and I'm making dinner for my family when they all come home. It's been a great weekend.
Today is a year since my grandma died. I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it is. Well actually, I've done my best to not think about it at all. It's not even worth getting myself worked up. I miss her, but she's in a better place. I wish she could be here to see all the great things that are going on in my life, but I know she's with me, and I know she's proud of me. And I'll see her again someday. She was always there, and helped raise me, I'll never ever forget her or the things she's taught me. Even her death opened my eyes up and changed me.
Strength finds a place in me.
Today is a year since my grandma died. I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it is. Well actually, I've done my best to not think about it at all. It's not even worth getting myself worked up. I miss her, but she's in a better place. I wish she could be here to see all the great things that are going on in my life, but I know she's with me, and I know she's proud of me. And I'll see her again someday. She was always there, and helped raise me, I'll never ever forget her or the things she's taught me. Even her death opened my eyes up and changed me.
Strength finds a place in me.