"...And you Try to find one Source of light, try to name one thing you like.."
I've fallen into Winter Depression. I've tried hard to stay out of it but its too much. I find that at night it is the worst. I wake up hurting and nautious, not wanting to go through a day feeling anything, or maybe somthing other than this. I've had so much on my mind, and sometimes i don't know who i should talk to. Sometimes people who you promised you'd never share secrets with again, hit your problem right off the bat and you find yourself crying in their arms.
I've found someone new to confide in, it's nice because we don't have the same view on everything so i can get a different perspective on situations. And although our opnions differ so much- we share such a similair life. There's comfort in old friends that were once distant. I feel at home talking with him, perhaps its a little reminder of how amazing things used to be.
I can't find the source of all of this, maybe its so much put into one thing.
I was dreading the rally, hating myself for loosing my passion for leaders- yet in some ways i feel its what i really need, and in other ways all i want to do is stay home and record songs with Mike and Bobbo. ...or just sleep and read.
I've felt that if i cried i'd feel so much better, but i can't bring myself to do it. I feel so emotionless.
I don't go through my days frowning and complaining though..i'm good at hiding things, and this entry isn't so much for people's pity, more for my own realization that it happens EVERY winter, and I just have to suffer through it.
I just feel miserable.
I hate turmoil.
I wish i was a kid again, so much innocense.
I've found someone new to confide in, it's nice because we don't have the same view on everything so i can get a different perspective on situations. And although our opnions differ so much- we share such a similair life. There's comfort in old friends that were once distant. I feel at home talking with him, perhaps its a little reminder of how amazing things used to be.
I can't find the source of all of this, maybe its so much put into one thing.
I was dreading the rally, hating myself for loosing my passion for leaders- yet in some ways i feel its what i really need, and in other ways all i want to do is stay home and record songs with Mike and Bobbo. ...or just sleep and read.
I've felt that if i cried i'd feel so much better, but i can't bring myself to do it. I feel so emotionless.
I don't go through my days frowning and complaining though..i'm good at hiding things, and this entry isn't so much for people's pity, more for my own realization that it happens EVERY winter, and I just have to suffer through it.
I just feel miserable.
I hate turmoil.
I wish i was a kid again, so much innocense.