Dawn Breaks over Marblehead
Know what i love most about leaders school? After it is over, and you are greatful to have seen your friends and know you had a great time- you dont really think you learned anything, then the following week all these things start to make sense...and you know it is all because of leaders school and all you learned there.
There's been somthing that has been bothering me. MANY people i talked to the first couple days of leaders school were telling me how they did not want to come. They had no intention or want to come. This set me off track- i did not understand how someone would not want to go..but i guess thats just me. The only thing i understood when they told me this was that there must be a strange reason for it, because after all their not wanting to go- they ended up coming. Today it hit me. It made perfect sense. The reason they didnt want to go was because they were happy with the way things were at home. They liked where they were with their friends and relationships. They KNEW that leaders school would change them- that it would make them want to visit friends from out of town...and actually miss people. It would throw their whole life off track and leave them feeling loved and worth somthing...worth more than what they feel at home. Maybe i was so excited because i had little at home to come back to. I was happy i figured that out, and i see their reasoning..but i dont understand how they could pass up the best thing in the world- the thing that changes thousands of leaders lives and opens up a whole new world for them just so they wouldnt have to go home and "re-adjust"
August makes me happy. It seems like a far gone memory than the present time. I cant explain exactly..but im happy to be at work. I've been there for a year now, and this past weekend working it feels like the first weekend i had ever worked- i enjoy myself there. (Perhaps Leaders school has somthing to do with this)
I had an amazing night last night. I hung out with someone one on one that i have never been able to get along with in person. We had an amazing time, we talked for hours about things that really mattered to us and made some crazy vegan meal to satisfy both our tastes. There's somthing comforting about listening to good music in a car at night when it is raining that i REALLY like. It makes life seem like a movie and a little more ok.
I should be looking forward to this year.(in no particular order) 1)I am getting my license- FREEDOM. 2)Squirt has hers and i will get to see her twice as much as usual. 3) Andy is moving to Springfield for college TODAY (ooh the excitement!!) 4) Im going to be a junior and it brings so much oppurtunity.
I have a feeling our leaders club is going to be incredible this year. I just have so many good ideas for things and i can not wait for it to start up. Especially recruiting new members.
But there is somthing in the back of my mind telling me i am not going to enjoy this year. The number one thing that is absolutly KILLING me is the fact Emily is going to be a senior. I keep trying to put it out of my mind, it is the LAST thing i want to think of. Last year was tough on us, and this year - her being a senior being busy with senior stuff- me being busy with looking for colleges. Then she is going to be off to college. Oh lordy, it is easy to not see her as much knowing she is in melrose..but having her in New York is going to get me. I never imagined what it would be like when the time came for her to have to go. When we were little i always imagined us going to college together- living together- having the same jobs. We were set. I guess it hits around now that it wont happen and i wont see her as much as usual, and i should be ok, cause we have a year...but its hard not to think about. I guess im going to have to use my license to drive to Fordham and visit her on weekends. heh.
Well enough of that. I guess i have tons to be looking forward to- now i just need to be brave, lift my head up and walk into this year confidently. (knowing that if i fall i have so many of you there to catch me)
I Love You.
---Laura
There's been somthing that has been bothering me. MANY people i talked to the first couple days of leaders school were telling me how they did not want to come. They had no intention or want to come. This set me off track- i did not understand how someone would not want to go..but i guess thats just me. The only thing i understood when they told me this was that there must be a strange reason for it, because after all their not wanting to go- they ended up coming. Today it hit me. It made perfect sense. The reason they didnt want to go was because they were happy with the way things were at home. They liked where they were with their friends and relationships. They KNEW that leaders school would change them- that it would make them want to visit friends from out of town...and actually miss people. It would throw their whole life off track and leave them feeling loved and worth somthing...worth more than what they feel at home. Maybe i was so excited because i had little at home to come back to. I was happy i figured that out, and i see their reasoning..but i dont understand how they could pass up the best thing in the world- the thing that changes thousands of leaders lives and opens up a whole new world for them just so they wouldnt have to go home and "re-adjust"
August makes me happy. It seems like a far gone memory than the present time. I cant explain exactly..but im happy to be at work. I've been there for a year now, and this past weekend working it feels like the first weekend i had ever worked- i enjoy myself there. (Perhaps Leaders school has somthing to do with this)
I had an amazing night last night. I hung out with someone one on one that i have never been able to get along with in person. We had an amazing time, we talked for hours about things that really mattered to us and made some crazy vegan meal to satisfy both our tastes. There's somthing comforting about listening to good music in a car at night when it is raining that i REALLY like. It makes life seem like a movie and a little more ok.
I should be looking forward to this year.(in no particular order) 1)I am getting my license- FREEDOM. 2)Squirt has hers and i will get to see her twice as much as usual. 3) Andy is moving to Springfield for college TODAY (ooh the excitement!!) 4) Im going to be a junior and it brings so much oppurtunity.
I have a feeling our leaders club is going to be incredible this year. I just have so many good ideas for things and i can not wait for it to start up. Especially recruiting new members.
But there is somthing in the back of my mind telling me i am not going to enjoy this year. The number one thing that is absolutly KILLING me is the fact Emily is going to be a senior. I keep trying to put it out of my mind, it is the LAST thing i want to think of. Last year was tough on us, and this year - her being a senior being busy with senior stuff- me being busy with looking for colleges. Then she is going to be off to college. Oh lordy, it is easy to not see her as much knowing she is in melrose..but having her in New York is going to get me. I never imagined what it would be like when the time came for her to have to go. When we were little i always imagined us going to college together- living together- having the same jobs. We were set. I guess it hits around now that it wont happen and i wont see her as much as usual, and i should be ok, cause we have a year...but its hard not to think about. I guess im going to have to use my license to drive to Fordham and visit her on weekends. heh.
Well enough of that. I guess i have tons to be looking forward to- now i just need to be brave, lift my head up and walk into this year confidently. (knowing that if i fall i have so many of you there to catch me)
I Love You.
---Laura