September 11, 2011: Ten Years Later
For months now I have been contemplating what I wanted to write today. I feel like there's so much I want to say, but when it comes to organizing my thoughts and feelings into a cohesive piece, it becomes difficult for me to decide. I apologize if my thoughts jump from one thing to another. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts today as I reflect on what happened on September 11, 2001.
It is hard for me to believe that the tragic events of that day were ten years ago. I was in tenth grade at the time. The first plane hit about the time I was switching between first and second periods, but we didn't hear about it for a while. I was in English class. Another teacher came and told our teacher. I don't remember what she told us, I just remember she hooked up the television and we watched the news coverage. I didn't really understand what was happening. I had never really heard of the World Trade Center. On the way to third period I remember making some stupid remark to a friend in the hallway about how this must be the start of World War III. I was only half kidding. I knew that someone, or a group of someones, were making a statement. I was scared.
Today I didn't watch any of the specials on television. I wanted to, but at the same time, I didn't want to. I did watch some tribute/memorial videos on YouTube, and downloaded an app called "911 Memorial." Watching the news broadcasts and amateur footage of that day is very difficult for me. It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach. I cry. I feel panicky and stressed and worried and scared all over again. I only saw these events from my living room. I cannot imagine how people feel who lived through those events, or those who lost loved ones on that terrible day.
I know that I tend to put too much importance on a day. I remember dates and anniversaries of important things, but also of trivial events. Celebrating, honoring, remembering those dates is important to me. But when it comes to this day, I don't know what to think. I feel sad for all the innocent lives lost. I feel sad for the friends and family of those who were lost. I feel angry that those responsible were able to do such terrible things. I feel worried for the soldiers who risk their lives (and sometimes lose them) to help protect our freedoms and allow others to know such a life. I feel angry that people seem to have forgotten the feelings of support and unity that were spread in the days and weeks following September 11, 2001. I feel helpless and wish there was something I could do to make a difference.
I wanted to do a little something with my students to commemorate the day. I looked online for various lesson plan ideas. Not surprisingly, I found a lot more talk about our reactions and the results of the attacks, and a lot fewer ideas about how to incorporate remembering into my classroom. Yes, I know that my students were about 2 years old on September 11, 2001. Yes, I know that they don't really understand what it felt like to see and hear what was going on. But one thing someone wrote really upset me. They said that September 11, 2001 "wasn't relevant" to the lives of today's youth. As I said, I know it's hard for them to realize what it was like, but I think it is very relevant to their lives. Military actions in Iraq in Afghanistan, for example, were brought on by the terrorist attacks. Debate and controversy over those campaigns are still raging today. Current events are impacted by decades of past events in our country. Saying that September 11, 2001 is "not relevant" to children today is like saying Pearl Harbor is "not relevant" to me or my parents' generations. Of course it's relevant. It's important, and should be treated with respect and an understanding that such events have everlasting impact on our culture.
Even with so many heavy thoughts on my mind, today was a day full of celebration, family, and smiles. Today is also my Grampa's birthday. Many members of my family gathered together to celebrate, talk, eat, laugh, hug. I had a nice day, and was glad that I didn't spend the entire day engrossed in melancholia. I said a prayer for the people hurting today, that they might find comfort. I said a prayer for those we lost because of the events of September 11, 2001, that their souls are at rest. I took time to remember. I will certainly never forget; I am still working on the forgiveness part. Hopefully that will come in the next decade.
It is hard for me to believe that the tragic events of that day were ten years ago. I was in tenth grade at the time. The first plane hit about the time I was switching between first and second periods, but we didn't hear about it for a while. I was in English class. Another teacher came and told our teacher. I don't remember what she told us, I just remember she hooked up the television and we watched the news coverage. I didn't really understand what was happening. I had never really heard of the World Trade Center. On the way to third period I remember making some stupid remark to a friend in the hallway about how this must be the start of World War III. I was only half kidding. I knew that someone, or a group of someones, were making a statement. I was scared.
Today I didn't watch any of the specials on television. I wanted to, but at the same time, I didn't want to. I did watch some tribute/memorial videos on YouTube, and downloaded an app called "911 Memorial." Watching the news broadcasts and amateur footage of that day is very difficult for me. It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach. I cry. I feel panicky and stressed and worried and scared all over again. I only saw these events from my living room. I cannot imagine how people feel who lived through those events, or those who lost loved ones on that terrible day.
I know that I tend to put too much importance on a day. I remember dates and anniversaries of important things, but also of trivial events. Celebrating, honoring, remembering those dates is important to me. But when it comes to this day, I don't know what to think. I feel sad for all the innocent lives lost. I feel sad for the friends and family of those who were lost. I feel angry that those responsible were able to do such terrible things. I feel worried for the soldiers who risk their lives (and sometimes lose them) to help protect our freedoms and allow others to know such a life. I feel angry that people seem to have forgotten the feelings of support and unity that were spread in the days and weeks following September 11, 2001. I feel helpless and wish there was something I could do to make a difference.
I wanted to do a little something with my students to commemorate the day. I looked online for various lesson plan ideas. Not surprisingly, I found a lot more talk about our reactions and the results of the attacks, and a lot fewer ideas about how to incorporate remembering into my classroom. Yes, I know that my students were about 2 years old on September 11, 2001. Yes, I know that they don't really understand what it felt like to see and hear what was going on. But one thing someone wrote really upset me. They said that September 11, 2001 "wasn't relevant" to the lives of today's youth. As I said, I know it's hard for them to realize what it was like, but I think it is very relevant to their lives. Military actions in Iraq in Afghanistan, for example, were brought on by the terrorist attacks. Debate and controversy over those campaigns are still raging today. Current events are impacted by decades of past events in our country. Saying that September 11, 2001 is "not relevant" to children today is like saying Pearl Harbor is "not relevant" to me or my parents' generations. Of course it's relevant. It's important, and should be treated with respect and an understanding that such events have everlasting impact on our culture.
Even with so many heavy thoughts on my mind, today was a day full of celebration, family, and smiles. Today is also my Grampa's birthday. Many members of my family gathered together to celebrate, talk, eat, laugh, hug. I had a nice day, and was glad that I didn't spend the entire day engrossed in melancholia. I said a prayer for the people hurting today, that they might find comfort. I said a prayer for those we lost because of the events of September 11, 2001, that their souls are at rest. I took time to remember. I will certainly never forget; I am still working on the forgiveness part. Hopefully that will come in the next decade.