Snake Arms and Flip-Flops
While searching for a Richard Simmons workout video (I loves me some Simmons!), I chanced upon a belly dancing video. Turns out, I am waaaay beyond video instruction when it comes to that shit. It was boring. And the chick was wearing a unitard. So, I promptly ejected that bitch from my VCR. However, I did not find any Richard. Har!!!!
And now, I have lots of funny (to me anyhow) stories about misadventures with Nycole!
Not this past weekend but the one before that, Nycole and I went out downtown. After sharing a fishbowl full of 6 different liquors, we walked around full of witty social commentary and being entertained by the locals. The following are some highlights:
1) We found a book at Barnes and Noble called “Honey-blond Chica” and Nycole read the synopsis out loud and we laughed so hard we cried. “She’s a laid-back chica who rolls with the Flo-Jo’s, a kick-back crowd known for their designer flip-flops.” It was doubly funny with a fishbowl of booze in our system.
2) As we were walking by a club, a car full of 20-something guys rolls up to the valet station with the speakers blaring Jason Mraz! They were acting all bad-ass as if they were blasting 50 Cent or something. But, no. Jason “I won’t worry my life away” Mraz!! Again, we laughed until we cried. And then we laughed some more when one of the guys in the backseat got out and was wearing a baby blue bandana. To match his baby blue Polo shirt. Classic.
3) Nycole randomly asked me if I’d seen or heard anything about Melody Wehunt, a girl who went to BHS with us. And I launched into my tirade about how “last time I saw Melody Wehunt, she was a crack whore who stole my boyfriend.” (True story.) And THEN circa 15 minutes later we see Melody Wehunt walking down the street talking on her cell phone and we hear her say, “Ok, I’ll meet you out front!” So, I get this brilliant plan that we should follow her to see if we know the person she’s meeting. It was pretty farcical. And we ended up at The Library (Wow. What a clever name for a bar.), a meat-market place known for its designer skanks. Turns out, we’d never before seen the chicks that Melody Wehunt was meeting. But it made for a ridiculous story.
4)Then we went to a place called Kelley’s Sports Bar which is down the road from our old high school. It was full of BHS alumni. We were saddened by a) the fact that Kelley’s is their typical Saturday night hang-out and b) the cover band. Nycole asserted that cover bands are “intrinsically sad” and I concur.
And then we went home and agreed to do it all over again the next weekend. More tales later. I like to keep you guessing.
LJK
And now, I have lots of funny (to me anyhow) stories about misadventures with Nycole!
Not this past weekend but the one before that, Nycole and I went out downtown. After sharing a fishbowl full of 6 different liquors, we walked around full of witty social commentary and being entertained by the locals. The following are some highlights:
1) We found a book at Barnes and Noble called “Honey-blond Chica” and Nycole read the synopsis out loud and we laughed so hard we cried. “She’s a laid-back chica who rolls with the Flo-Jo’s, a kick-back crowd known for their designer flip-flops.” It was doubly funny with a fishbowl of booze in our system.
2) As we were walking by a club, a car full of 20-something guys rolls up to the valet station with the speakers blaring Jason Mraz! They were acting all bad-ass as if they were blasting 50 Cent or something. But, no. Jason “I won’t worry my life away” Mraz!! Again, we laughed until we cried. And then we laughed some more when one of the guys in the backseat got out and was wearing a baby blue bandana. To match his baby blue Polo shirt. Classic.
3) Nycole randomly asked me if I’d seen or heard anything about Melody Wehunt, a girl who went to BHS with us. And I launched into my tirade about how “last time I saw Melody Wehunt, she was a crack whore who stole my boyfriend.” (True story.) And THEN circa 15 minutes later we see Melody Wehunt walking down the street talking on her cell phone and we hear her say, “Ok, I’ll meet you out front!” So, I get this brilliant plan that we should follow her to see if we know the person she’s meeting. It was pretty farcical. And we ended up at The Library (Wow. What a clever name for a bar.), a meat-market place known for its designer skanks. Turns out, we’d never before seen the chicks that Melody Wehunt was meeting. But it made for a ridiculous story.
4)Then we went to a place called Kelley’s Sports Bar which is down the road from our old high school. It was full of BHS alumni. We were saddened by a) the fact that Kelley’s is their typical Saturday night hang-out and b) the cover band. Nycole asserted that cover bands are “intrinsically sad” and I concur.
And then we went home and agreed to do it all over again the next weekend. More tales later. I like to keep you guessing.
LJK