Nightmares
I had this horrid dream, well series of dreams, last night. And by last night I mean not too long ago. Because here I am. Up. at 6:19. Because I woke up at 5 after having nightmares and then I couldn't get back into proper sleep. Only drifting in and out of ever developing nightmares. Flashes of situations I regret. Flashes of confrontations and poor decisions yet to come. Memories of conventions that have not yet happened and the horrible interactions that happened. And then I got back from an awful trip and Waffe was gone. And it turned out to just be a symptom of my disappearance... or the worlds... My friends were slowly disappearing. And finally I realized that they weren't the one disappearing it was me... out of their life. Or perhaps out of the world. When the last one that remembered me/could see me was Dave (I think because I lived there so my stuff was a constant reminder) I started to realize that the rest of the world was getting ghostly to me. I couldn't check out at the supermarket. When I tried to do self check people kept thinking something was wrong with the computers... And then I came home and Dave was getting rid of my stuff. 'Junk that had been there when he got there' he said to his friends who were cleaning out my stuff. Getting rid of my art. And for some reason I stopped being able to interact with my house. With my belongings. Other things I could touch... Other things I could manipulate. But not my life. It had been washed out from beneath my feet like it was made of sand. The rivers of life were taking it away from me. And then I started to notice that there were clowns on the street corners... Clowns with heads like enormous balloon caricatures. And they could see me... And there started to be more of them. And somehow they seemed to be following me, even though I never saw them move. So here I am. Up. Watching 'Vincent and the Doctor' because it is one of the saddest most relate-able Doctor Who episodes that I know of. Because I think all artists struggle with striving to be something and somehow knowing that no one is going to remember us anyway and we may as well whitewash our lifes work out. Anyhow. Gonna try and go back to sleep once this episode is over, because this is just silly.