People in my space
In general, I don't like having people in my space. In fact, S is only person I happily share my space with. She's better than solitude. Which for me, is saying a lot.
Right now, there's someone in my space, and I'm trying to be ok with it, and failing.
A friend of S's has fallen on some hard times and needed a place to stay. We are lucky enough to have an affordable, relatively large two-bedroom apartment. So of course we said he could stay with us, for 3 months while he gets back on his feet and tries to find an apartment. To S, he's family. And I believe in helping friends. (I myself have crashed long-term at a very generous friend's house, and will be forever grateful; she helped me get my career started.) So, good karma, right?
The thing is, he's driving me nuts. Now, let me say that he's not doing anything wrong. He's just in my space. And he's not my person.
I'm socially awkward at the best of times, and I'm not very comfortable with people I don't know and trust. So it's hard for me to relax with people in my home at all hours that I'm not close to.
I just don't trust him. And barely like him. I tolerate him because he's family to S. His phone beeps constantly, he makes loud horking noises, and he is always talking to me. Even before coffee.
Today was a two-show day and S is working late. I come home and he is there. He comes out of the bathroom half-naked and just hangs out on the couch. Now, there's nothing necessarily wrong with him being topless, except maybe the assumption that I would be ok with this without first asking me. I am clothed for my comfort and his. (Normally at home I would not be.) I certainly would not just start walking around topless without asking about his comfort level. I avoid him and busy myself with dishes, where I cannot see him. He is very large and takes up the whole couch. He is watching a loud movie. Finally I tell myself this is ridiculous, so I take my laptop over to surf the internet in the living room. I sit on the floor, and he does not offer to make room on the couch. (Though I could have asked, and often sit comfortably on the floor.) I am choosing the words in my head to ask him to please put on a shirt, and please do not make assumptions as to my level of comfort sharing my space with half-naked men. Maybe he sensed it, because then he finally put a shirt on. I never said anything, and feel kind of cowardly, but relieved at the same time.
Well, I'll be gone soon to visit Mom for a while, and hopefully he is leaving at the end of April.
But ugh. I feel myself getting short with him and a bit snippy and I do not like it. I'm trying to think of the good karma, while really just wanting him out of my space.
Right now, there's someone in my space, and I'm trying to be ok with it, and failing.
A friend of S's has fallen on some hard times and needed a place to stay. We are lucky enough to have an affordable, relatively large two-bedroom apartment. So of course we said he could stay with us, for 3 months while he gets back on his feet and tries to find an apartment. To S, he's family. And I believe in helping friends. (I myself have crashed long-term at a very generous friend's house, and will be forever grateful; she helped me get my career started.) So, good karma, right?
The thing is, he's driving me nuts. Now, let me say that he's not doing anything wrong. He's just in my space. And he's not my person.
I'm socially awkward at the best of times, and I'm not very comfortable with people I don't know and trust. So it's hard for me to relax with people in my home at all hours that I'm not close to.
I just don't trust him. And barely like him. I tolerate him because he's family to S. His phone beeps constantly, he makes loud horking noises, and he is always talking to me. Even before coffee.
Today was a two-show day and S is working late. I come home and he is there. He comes out of the bathroom half-naked and just hangs out on the couch. Now, there's nothing necessarily wrong with him being topless, except maybe the assumption that I would be ok with this without first asking me. I am clothed for my comfort and his. (Normally at home I would not be.) I certainly would not just start walking around topless without asking about his comfort level. I avoid him and busy myself with dishes, where I cannot see him. He is very large and takes up the whole couch. He is watching a loud movie. Finally I tell myself this is ridiculous, so I take my laptop over to surf the internet in the living room. I sit on the floor, and he does not offer to make room on the couch. (Though I could have asked, and often sit comfortably on the floor.) I am choosing the words in my head to ask him to please put on a shirt, and please do not make assumptions as to my level of comfort sharing my space with half-naked men. Maybe he sensed it, because then he finally put a shirt on. I never said anything, and feel kind of cowardly, but relieved at the same time.
Well, I'll be gone soon to visit Mom for a while, and hopefully he is leaving at the end of April.
But ugh. I feel myself getting short with him and a bit snippy and I do not like it. I'm trying to think of the good karma, while really just wanting him out of my space.