Autumn Equinox
What can I say about this, other than an observation that technically this is a day when there is equal light and dark? The wheel of the year turns yet again. This summer has not been a good one for me, and Autumn almost as bad. I've been in a state of confusion and lethargy all that time (more or less). It'd be nice to shift away from that.
I know I will, but I also know that just right now I can't see it. But it will come (please, Mother). Tomorrow is Arbor Intrat and this quote below is from a contemplation of mine I made a few years ago about that day:
In our life we undergo many transformations and transitions, not just ones that we focus on. They are not always wanted and often we defer them (if we can) through fear and insecurity. Sometimes we embrace and initiate these changes, making them the centres of our lives for better or worse. And with change (even change we desire) there often comes grief and mourning. Grief can come over lost relationships, or expectations and ideas of ourselves that have proven either false or unbearable.
One can deny such grief, pretend it's not there or that it doesn't matter, but by doing so we also depreciate the worth of what we grieve for, and deny our history. Rather, it is often better to mourn for things lost, because this is ourselves owning our pain. In doing so we can acknowledge the role that such relationships and expectations played in our lives, and in doing so can also accept the good that came from them.
Mourning takes - however long it takes. And when mourning finishes, if we've paid attention to ourselves, often we can be refreshed and ready to move on.
I think I'm ready.