Getting rid of Phone Pests
Somehow my unlisted number got added to various call centres and other tele-pests that YOU DON’T KNOW. They always tend to call around dinner time with the idea that that’s when you’re likely to be there. I found the perfect response is this:
[PHONE RINGS}
If I have the radio on or music playing I turn it off.
ME: Hello
VOICE: Hello, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah (INSERT SPIEL HERE).
ME: I’m sorry, who do you want to talk to?
IF MENTIONED BY NAME - VERSION 1
ME: What did you want to talk to her about?
VOICE: Doesn’t matter what they say.
ME: I’m sorry but this is a Private Hospital. Ms Seabrook is unable to take calls at the moment.
IF MENTIONED BY NAME - VERSION 2
ME: What did you want to talk to her about?
VOICE: Doesn’t matter what they say.
ME: Oh I’m sorry, she worked on reception here until two weeks ago. I think she was dismissed for misusing the phones here.
IF THEY CAN’T GIVE A NAME, OR MAKE A CLAIM LIKE “Our records show that you were involved in a car accident six months ago” (that is, obvious bogus scam):
ME: Who do you want to talk to?
(REPEAT UNTIL THEY GIVE A NAME IN WHICH CASE SEE 1 or 2, OR THEY HANG-UP)
See the one thing that these pests can’t stand is WASTING THEIR TIME. Simpler solutions include asking them to just wait for a second while you close a door/window, and then put the phone in a desk draw. The solutions above also work because they convince the caller that you number is NOT a private one, but a business that won’t be buying what they’re trying to sell. Either way they’ll delete the number because calling it again is wasting their time.