Cold Rain...
There's a cold rain falling outside this morning. The dark of night has yet to trade places with the light of day. I can hear rain hitting the awnings outside. It is a slow and gentle rhythm which reminds me of something. I'm not sure what that something is. It flickers somewhere on the edge of my consciousness...it inhabits the other side of me. It was a rough night.
My husband escaped for a while to explore the church we will very likely call home at some point in the future. It's funny how differently we are taking to this Orthodox faith. Jim seems to be making new discoveries outside of himself and is then coming to call them his own. I feel as if it has always been there, a mysterious part of me locked away that is now being revealed to me piece by piece. As each new piece is revealed I savor its flavor, its tenor and recognize it was always there, I had just somehow forgotten. I struggle to understand some of it but because of some great mystery beyond me, I know it. Jim feels as if he's coming home. I think I was always there but I had re-papered the walls. Tearing the wallpaper down to reveal the home's true beauty is scary, painful and healing all that same time.
I digress. It was a rough night. I allowed Ana to watch the "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" last night as it is a rite of childhood, I think. In so doing, I allowed he to stay up 30 minutes past her bedtime. Ana then had a tough time going to sleep. She leapt from bed three times...the last time I simply listened to her scream for 10 minutes before putting her back to bed. As Jim often is says, her personality is bigger than she...so we sometimes have to go to what feels like an extreme in order to regain control. She woke up again around 11:30, frustrating Jim as he was attempting to write.
The kids are both sick and Ana would not stop coughing. I fished out the cough syrup from the medicine basket in the kitchen and doled it out. Ana's eyes were misty and tired. It was easy to see that she felt miserable. After I laid her down following the cough syrup she continued to cry and get out of bed. Eventually, whatever is in the medicine which causes drowsiness took effect and she drifted off. But off and on all night long I heard her coughing.
And now it is morning and still she coughs, joined by David every so often. And there's a cold rain. And I'm tired. Somehow, the rain is sort of a soundtrack for my mood...melancholy yet remindful. I'm not sure that makes sense, but it's where my spirit resides today.
I hope yours is in sunnier climes.
Laura
My husband escaped for a while to explore the church we will very likely call home at some point in the future. It's funny how differently we are taking to this Orthodox faith. Jim seems to be making new discoveries outside of himself and is then coming to call them his own. I feel as if it has always been there, a mysterious part of me locked away that is now being revealed to me piece by piece. As each new piece is revealed I savor its flavor, its tenor and recognize it was always there, I had just somehow forgotten. I struggle to understand some of it but because of some great mystery beyond me, I know it. Jim feels as if he's coming home. I think I was always there but I had re-papered the walls. Tearing the wallpaper down to reveal the home's true beauty is scary, painful and healing all that same time.
I digress. It was a rough night. I allowed Ana to watch the "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" last night as it is a rite of childhood, I think. In so doing, I allowed he to stay up 30 minutes past her bedtime. Ana then had a tough time going to sleep. She leapt from bed three times...the last time I simply listened to her scream for 10 minutes before putting her back to bed. As Jim often is says, her personality is bigger than she...so we sometimes have to go to what feels like an extreme in order to regain control. She woke up again around 11:30, frustrating Jim as he was attempting to write.
The kids are both sick and Ana would not stop coughing. I fished out the cough syrup from the medicine basket in the kitchen and doled it out. Ana's eyes were misty and tired. It was easy to see that she felt miserable. After I laid her down following the cough syrup she continued to cry and get out of bed. Eventually, whatever is in the medicine which causes drowsiness took effect and she drifted off. But off and on all night long I heard her coughing.
And now it is morning and still she coughs, joined by David every so often. And there's a cold rain. And I'm tired. Somehow, the rain is sort of a soundtrack for my mood...melancholy yet remindful. I'm not sure that makes sense, but it's where my spirit resides today.
I hope yours is in sunnier climes.
Laura